Perspective

I keep making excuses for my lack of productivity on this blog. The goal was to write about my aliyah. Well, that is old news. There comes a time in an olah's life where it switches from "oh! You just got here!" to "oh! You've been here for a while!" and I truly do not know what the delineation is, but it's happened. And the reason I have time to blog today is because the Tel Aviv municipality has canceled non-essential work for a Siren Day! Gone is the era of snow days. In this country, only an election or an incoming rocket will cause businesses to close. Not to mention we're having the warmest Autumn in nine years so snow isn't only not an issue, it's nowhere on the horizon. But the funniest part of this all is that I've been here long enough that this isn't even my first siren experience! That happened a few days after I got here.

This is the Iron Dome- Gd bless the Iron Dome

My mother calls me in a panic, wants to make sure I did the siren the right way. In the fortified room, in the basement, stayed there an extra 15 minutes to be safe. I didn't but I say "yep!" I take care of myself pretty well. It makes me laugh to think she's worried about me, here in the Jewish state. I face the enemy we know, in this case Islamic Jihad who are angry we've killed a leader of theirs. Meanwhile, my family sits in New York City, often referred to as Jew York City for its enormous Jewish population, now facing religious threats much like the rest of the country where I once lived. 

I recently went to NYC to visit my family and meet my new baby nephew (he is SO poopoopoo I literally can't even!) and my mom and I went to shul for Yom Kippur prayers. My mom kept glancing at the door, which made sense because she really can't wait to get out of shul. We were in the basement group service, whereas the other two services were upstairs near the front entrances. My mom turned to me and said "I don't like how that entrance isn't guarded" like the other two upstairs were. "Doesn't it make you nervous?" Now, by nature, I'm not a worrier and my mother is the definition of one (Jewish moms, yadda yadda) but for once I thought her anxiety might be founded.

I left America, the goldene medineh- the promised land for a people that was tortured by every country in the diaspora where they fled. Europe, North Africa and the Middle East all became inhospitable to their Jewish populations and it seemed like America was the first country to break that mold. And honestly, I would never compare America to what Jews are facing elsewhere in the world in 2019. I don't generally worry for my family's safety. But I do hear about a new incident (or ten) every day- a swastika on a synagogue, a vandalized cemetery, a beating of a Hasidic-looking Jew, a BDS resolution, a bomb threat, an anti-Semitic outburst on a subway- that makes me wonder if the clock is ticking on our time in the US.

Jewish cemetery in Nebraska vandalized, November 2019

I hope not. I don't want anyone to feel scared to threatened, least of all my family and friends. I don't want anyone to have to hide their Jewishness or their support for the Jewish state. And as much as I want people to make aliyah and come home, I don't want them to do it because they have to. I love my family intensely, but they don't want to move here (try as I might to badger them about it in nearly every conversation.) And if they ever do come, I want it to be running toward, not running away. So as I sit here on my unexpected Siren Day off from work, I think about how funny perspective is, with my mom terrified of rockets falling on Tel Aviv, and me feeling like I'm living in the safest country in the world to be Jewish. Perspective.

A Jew’s Life

As usual, it takes something huge to actually motivate me to blog, and I had been moving in that direction for weeks before the events in Pittsburgh shoved me all the way there.

Let’s start with the basics: my brothers and sisters (or in the case of many of the victims, zaidys and bubbies) were murdered, in shul, for the crime of being Jewish. They were murdered like the 6 million. They were targeted like Jews were murdered in Russia, Spain, England and on and on for literally thousands of years.

They were murdered like the Jews in Paris and the Jews in Mumbai. They were murdered like the Jews in Munich and the Jews in Argentina. And for sure they were murdered like the Jews in Har Nof and Sderot and Tel Aviv. A Jew is a Jew to those who hate us, and if you want to spend your time quibbling about embassies and settlements and right and left, kindly show yourself the door, because I’m tired.

I believe in semantics, the words people use. When I go back to the USA to visit and people say “oh, you’re going home?” I say “no, I am home. I’m going to see my family.” And they roll their eyes and mumble something about my raging Zionism and we move on. Why do I say that? Because here is home. Here I am not “the other, the (((Jew)))” here I belong.

I lived in America my whole life and loved it. My house has an American flag, I scream-sing the National anthem at baseball games, aggressively follow Team USA during international competition and know American history like the back of my hand. My dream vacation destination as a child was colonial Williamsburg.

Why am I mentioning this (other than giving you a glimpse into a weird hyper-patriotic kid?) Because I don’t blame this tragedy on America whatsoever. It’s not Trump’s fault (sorry, but that’s just wishful thinking on the part of those who blame him for the sun coming up.) It’s not the alt-right, or Antifa or the Klan or the Nation of Islam (although they all really hate Jews, to be fair.) Because Jews are killed everywhere in the world at every point in history, and it would be pretty odd to blame those tragedies on the alt-right, even though the motive is always exactly the same.

A lot of well-meaning people ask “what can we do” to help eradicate anti-Semitism. Certainly ensuring it has no place in government or on campus or in the media is a great start, but there is no way to actually end anti-Semitism. It’s an irrational bigotry- we’re hated because were too religious and too secular, too wealthy and too much on welfare, too educated and too ignorant, too assimilated and too separate, too left-wing and too right-wing. We are whatever it is bigots hate in nation-form, and that’s pretty hard to eradicate- or at least it hasn’t been done in over 3,000 years.

Which brings me to my final point. The last acceptable anti-Semitism is also known as anti-Zionism (I’m lookin’ at you, Jews and non-Jews alike.) This tragedy happened in Pittsburgh to a conservative synagogue and you still hear people blaming the embassy move and Gaza. And if that makes you feel better, if it makes you feel safer and absolved of guilt, you enjoy that. But Israel wasn’t just not a factor in this tragedy, it is the only known defense the Jewish people have against a world gone mad. Most Jews know it, our enemies know it and jeez Louise, anti Zionist Jews, you better get to know it too!

It is the main difference between the Jews of 1933 and the Jews of 2018- a strong country with a strong government and a strong army. And you can call us a country of land-thieves with a hawkish government and a brutal army until the cows come home- but we are the main factor in this entire world ensuring “Never Again” is a reality.

So while I hope that the Jews of America are safe in the “goldene medina” for as long as they want to stay there (and that includes the people I love most in this entire world) we must always remember that we are one nation, with one heart and only one homeland to call our own. Come for a visit or come to stay, but come Home soon.

And to the families and friends of the victims of this tragedy,
"May God comfort you among the other mourners of Zion and Jerusalem."

The Five Stages of Dealing with Anti-Israel Social Media

If you're anything like me, you've gotten sucked into the news lately, and if you're pro-Israel, it can be a maddening ride, especially on social media. So like any other grief- like situation, let's get through these 5 steps, and come out the other side.

DENIAL: “Who are all these people on the internet calling my beautiful, kind and brave country everything from murderers to Nazis? Can’t be! They don’t know what they’re saying! If they only knew! They don’t mean it! It’s the optics- as soon as they hear the other side, they’ll understand!”

ANGER- “THESE VILE ANTI- SEMITES! How dare they?! Who do they think they ARE? What would THEY DO if someone ran at them with a machete?? Et tu BETTE MIDLER?? CHELSEA EFFING HANDLER SHUT THE EFF UP!”


BARGAINING- “We’ve sent aid to Haiti! We sent provisions to Gaza- that they destroyed! We tried rubber bullets, tear gas and threats to the rioters, but still they come! This is Hamas- Hamas are terrorists! We’ve made so many concessions! Oslo! Gush Katif! CHERRY TOMATOES!”



DEPRESSION: “I can’t do it. I can’t handle everyone hating me. Maybe if I apologize more, maybe if I capitulate more. I can’t handle the back and forth- “liking” pro- Israel posts and angrily fighting the trolls. So many anti-Israel trolls! Where do they come from and why don’t they like us? Why can't they see?"




ACCEPTANCE: “Wait a second. This wave of hatred also happened in 2012. And 2014. This happens every single time Israel has had the nerve to defend its people. And the haters will always hate, no matter what we say, or how many times, or however eloquently or loudly or calmly. So you know what? I’m gonna shut off Facebook, call my friend Dudu, fire up my electric scooter and go get a falafel while listening to Netta! Yalla BYE!”

One Last Blow Before I Go

Even though the UN is entirely useless, run by dictators and human-rights abusers and holds no credibility with anyone with a functioning brain, it exists, it's in the newspapers and it shuts down all of New York City for a few weeks a year. It's an international joke that has gone on too long and whose only recognizable function at this point is to pass umpteen resolutions demonizing the Jews. Oops, I mean Israel.

If you don't care about Israel, or it's just not on your radar (but then, how did you get to this blog? I digress) the UN is a benign and impressive building with a bunch of colorfully dressed dignitaries who have cars they can park anywhere. They function away from your eyes, don't accomplish much and really don't affect your life in any way. You might visit the building on a class trip or read an article mentioning that they are having their yearly sessions that week. But if you are Israeli or a supporter of Israel, you know that they do have one other very important function. They are there to ruin the international reputation of your homeland. They convene once a year to collectively and decisively condemn every aspect of your beautiful, democratic country- repeatedly. Every. Single. Year.
But why Israel? You might ask. If you are one of Israel's many detractors you may think "sure, cite Israel along with Saudi Arabia, Syria, Sudan and all those other human rights abusers." The problem with that thinking is that you don't hate Jews and Israel enough! If you were truly like the members of the UN, you would realize that Israel is the perfect scapegoat for all the world's problems. You would appreciate the vile dictators and disgusting countries that make up the human rights councils and security councils and education councils, whose sole purpose is to come up with new and exciting ways to call Israel "the worst." These countries calling Israel "the worst," it should be noted, are largely Arab or Arab-majority, human-rights abusing, non-western, oppressive, violent and anti-Semitic regimes who, through oil money and intimidation, have come to run this farce of an organization.


This is one year alone!

Perhaps the UN started with the best of intentions, but it has devolved into an anti-Semitic cesspool where the patients are running the asylum (I'm really fired up, forgive me.) So why do I even care what happens there, you might ask. Generally, I don't. Usually, I can laugh at the rantings of Arab dictators at the plenum, and roll my eyes at the unending stream of condemnations of Israel, blaming us for everything from environmental ills (Israel is one of the greenest countries on earth) to women's rights abuses (Israel is the only liberal democracy in the entire Middle East.) Plus, Israel generally has the support of the western world (specifically the US) at the UN so it curbs any real damage. Except for when things like what happened yesterday occur. Except when things like my former president (I still hold American citizenship but take pride in this man no longer being my head of state) Barack Obama decided to aim one last parting shot at the country for which he holds such disdain. 

"Israel must recognize that it cannot permanently occupy and settle Palestinian land."

In his final address to the UN and the world, as he has done for the last 8 years, he blamed Israel for the lack of peace while cushioning it with a plea for Palestinians to stop inciting their citizens to murder Jews, so as not to completely upset his liberal Jewish fan base. In that one sentence, he disregarded all offers for peace short of national suicide and gave Israel's detractors, enemies and terrorizers another weapon in their arsenal. "See?" Israel's enemies say "Even the president of your best friend America, even the country with the most Jews outside Israel, even the most powerful democracy on earth thinks you are occupiers, colonizers, thieves." They will continue to call our legitimacy into question, to ignore our indigenous rights, and to extend their fallacious narrative but now with a one-sentence soundbite from the leader of the free world. Just Google his speech and "Israel" and that quote is in the sub headline of every article. Not the part about Palestinian incitement. Not the part about the Palestinians needing to recognize the legitimacy of Israel. He said those things, but you'll have to read the whole article to find them, and most probably won't. 

The reverberations are not hard to predict. The BDS movement will place this statement on their literature and placards. The UN will continue to do what they do, but without the conscience of the pesky US to tell them what they're doing is wrong, and the entire world will become a more dangerous place for the Jews. Because, as you should know by now, Israel is a proxy for the Jews. Even if you are a Jew that hates Israel (and, by the way, if you are- yuck) that man in Ireland, Africa, Abu Dhabi hears "Jew" and thinks "Israel" and vice versa. So Obama telling the world that Jews in Israel are permanently occupying Palestinian land, when actually they are living in their native homeland (like they have for 3,000 years) isn't just wrong- it's dangerous. It is not surprising, given Obama's clear disgust for Israel (if you are shaking your head in disagreement, please let's revisit this topic in 20 years when he is hawking anti-Israel diatribes like a modern-day Jimmy Carter.)

As you know, I always like to leave on a hopeful note, so let me try and turn this around. Obama will be leaving office in around 120 days. For me, that's wonderful. But his legacy (which my liberal friends love and I despise) remains. And he is leaving the country in the hands of either Hillary (more of the same, especially when it comes to Israel, sadly) or Trump (the definition of the phrase "Oy vey") so I can't even look forward to his exit the way I planned! So I will say this: Israel was here before the UN and will be here long after. The children of Israel have suffered pogroms and libels, expulsions and genocide- they will continue to survive. And because we as a nation have a strong, just and beautiful country of our own, we will also thrive. Because, as you know, Am Yisrael Chai.

An Open Letter to Simone Zimmerman

Simone-

         Normally, I wouldn't care to write this. I would ignore you like I do the other members of the small, but rabid and vicious, young, self-hating, American Jewish community who pop up here and there to scream and yell and wear keffiyehs and write patronizing and ignorant articles and tweet nonsense that no one notices, but you are different. You have been thrust onto the national stage as a "director of Jewish outreach" for the Bernie Sanders campaign, and for anyone who knows what you stand for, that should read like a The Onion headline. Normally, I try and keep infighting in the Jewish community to a minimum, L-rd knows we see a lot of it. But you are a rotten apple, with the ability to ruin the whole bushel, and you must be called out. You will be known to large swaths of the American population as a "Jewish representative," and that fact makes my stomach turn. What you are saying is not new, not innovative, nor progressive or cool. You are not a great Jew because you call other Jews "yids" or have bagel and schmears on Sundays. You are not open-minded because you went to Berkeley, a bastion of anti-Semitic hatred in the bleak and anti- Semitic UC system. You are somewhat more notable because of the extents to which you have gone to try and destroy Israel, I will give you that. You joined (and led!) blatantly anti-Israel groups, you wrote anti-Israel articles, heck! You even opposed university legislation trying to curb campus anti-Semitism! So when I say you are similar to other self-hating, liberal Americans of Jewish lineage, I don't mean to demean your efforts- you are certainly at the forefront of this vile movement. You must be, or I don't believe Mr. Sanders would have chosen you for your current position.

      But this letter is going to focus on the Facebook message that is now making the rounds (I've inserted it below for whomever reads this and is unfamiliar) on the Internet- and I've included the un-censored version you posted first, not the sanitized version you edited once you realized that the original version might come across as, well, insane. Kudos, by the way, for not letting your political aspirations keep you from voicing your truth. Before you changed your truth to suit your political aspirations.

     We can start with your beautiful summary of my several-times democratically elected Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu. Aside from being a war hero, a scholar, a head of state and someone you've never met in your life, you use the most nasty language to discuss the leader of an ally of the United States. The biggest ally in the Middle East, incidentally. It may have missed my attention, but would you please direct me to any similar posts calling out Bashar Assad, who is implementing genocide on the Syrian people? Did you write a similar rant about Khaled Mashaal, Mahmoud Abbas, Hassan Nasrallah, Ahmedenijad, Khameini- you know, leaders who are promising the death and destruction of your fellow Jews, both in Israel and abroad? I would love to see the tweets and Facebook posts you wrote railing against the incitement of Palestinian leadership that has caused innocents to be stabbed and run over and shot with abandon here in Israel these past 5 months. Oh, you haven't? Only Bibi is singled out and told "f--- you"? Nice.

      You talk of Bibi's fear mongering. Fair play, coming from some American Jew ensconced in Berkeley or NYC (where I'm from, actually!) Tell me, would you have the gall to say that to my face as I sat in my building's bomb shelter, praying for my life, 4 days after I moved to Israel and made it my home. Would you say Bibi is a fear-monger to the thousands of children from Sderot, Ashkelon and Ashdod who live with PTSD at age 5 because they have lived under the wail of a siren from incoming rockets their whole lives? You know, ever since Israel gave away Gaza in hopes of peace, only to watch their greenhouses turned into rocket launchpads and tunnel-building sites for Hamas? Would you like to go to Sderot and tell those people that Bibi is an ultra-nationalist, blood-lusting, fear-monger who only wants war? I dare you.

        Let's move on to him "sanctioning the murder of over 2,000 people" in a "brutal military occupation." I'm going to go out on a limb and say you probably are not a big fan of the IDF. You probably love "Breaking the Silence" and whatever anti-Israel former soldiers who decide to put the love of leftist American Jews, before loyalty to their families and country. I am nothing like you. I love the IDF, the most moral army in the world. Aside from the fact that many past and present members are family and friends of mine, I know who and what they are and I am so proud to have them to defend me. Let me tell you who they are. They are generally 18-21 years old men and women, who have been drafted and asked to give up a chunk of their young lives to protect their family and friends. They are essentially kids who realize that to live in a Jewish homeland, one needs to make sacrifices. Some of them will die. That is a tragedy. I mourn for each life lost like I would my own family member. And I know that if there was no Arab threat to Israel, none of them would ever be killed. They exist because we are under constant threat in Israel and have been since before 1967, before 1948 and before 1929. Either you are entirely ignorant of history, or you are willfully ignoring it. This isn't about Gaza, or 2-states, or even our one state. It's about our existence, in Israel, in America, on this earth. Yours and mine, actually, as we are both (inexplicably) part of the same Jewish people. I'm just not naive enough to think hugs, kisses and capitulation will change reality.

       About the Iran deal. How dare you gamble with my country, my people and my life because you think Obama knows better than Bibi about what's best for Israel. Let's say you're right (you're not). Why is Bibi wrong for taking Iran at their word that they want to destroy Israel. It's a matter of public record, in video and print. They want Israel off the map, they will have the tools to do it, an infusion of US cash and they are run by radical mullahs. Why shouldn't Bibi do everything possible to protect his country? Why should you, some know-nothing leftist, sitting safely in hipster Brooklyn think you know anything more that a certifiable genius with mounds of intelligence in front of him? Who ARE You?

      I will end with how you signed off. Unfortunately, you are a leftist American Jew who cares more about literally everything than Israel and your people. It is evident from everything I've read about you (considered me obsessed with you, but not in a good way). You speak for a loud, arrogant, willfully ignorant group of disillusioned young Jews who are regrettably growing in ranks. You are so dangerous to American and world Jewry, you can't even imagine. I do hope you see the error of your ways, as you call yourself "a thinking person "although I know you won't. I see you rising in the self- hating ranks in your future career- I'm relatively certain there's a lot of money and prestige in selling out Israel at every turn.

      But please know that as loud and vocal as you will be in your life, calling for boycotts, giving anti-Semites ammunition against American Jews and shaming our nation; I will be here on the other side, defending Israel, our people and our right to exist, just as strongly and with the might of right on my side.

Hey girl hey!

Wishing you a complete change of heart,

Jordana Brown
Jerusalem, Israel

It is Better to be Feared Than Loved

          "...if you can't be both." Is Machiavelli correct here? Take yourself as an example- would you prefer to be feared by someone, if them loving you was off the table? Now substitute yourself with Israel and substitute "respected" for "feared." I've been thinking about this for a few months now (or maybe even years, if I'm being honest) and I wonder "Isn't it better for Israel to be respected for our strength if we know the world won't ever love us for our goodness?"

         Well, depends who you ask. The Left of Israel would answer "no." It is better to keep trying, keep giving, keep imploring and keep hope alive that "killing them with kindness" will finally bear fruit. Yes, boycott the "settlements"! Yes, re-open talks with Abbas! Yes, keep begging the US and Europe to intervene and stop our fascistic government from ruining our standing in their world's eyes. On the extreme Left, there was even a representative from Peace Now (emphasis on the absurdity of their nomenclature added) who blamed a victim of terrorism for daring to avoid more terrorism by killing his attacker! While this is an extreme case and most of the Israeli Left no doubt thinks this Peace Now loon is crazy too, there is definitely a vocal camp who would much rather Israel keep fighting for the world's love than seek the world's respect through strength. They truly believe that if the world only saw our humanitarian aid, our unparalleled commitment to democracy, our liberalism, our medical and technological contributions, the incredible lengths we would go to secure peace- we will surely earn the love. Can you guess where I stand?

          Correct! I see this charm offensive as great, but ultimately doomed to fail. As an analogy- a guy is in love with a girl who disdains but tolerates his existence. So he compliments her, writes her love notes, buys her presents- full-court charm offensive. Does she fall for him? Possibly. But more likely, she takes all that he gives her and still can't stand him. If perhaps she is neutral toward this Romeo, he has a shot. But I don't see the world as neutral toward Israel. I see a world where the Middle East abhors us, Europe can't stand us and North America is steadily becoming more hostile and less patient with "the cause of instability in the Middle East." (Who, me?) Call me a pessimist (go ahead, most people do) but I see myself as a realist and a true believer in the cyclical nature of history. To follow me on this thought process, we need to use "Israel" and "Jews" interchangeably. Some of you won't want to. You will hold fast to the delusion that we are 2 separate entities and if only Israel didn't exist we Jews would all be frolicking in the world's warm embrace. To this, I turn your attention to Sweden, France, Uruguay, etc, etc, etc where Jews are being targeted for wearing Yarmulkes, not Israeli flags. So if you can suspend your belief that it's just an Israel thing, we can continue.

           Throughout Jewish history, Jews have been hated. We are too rich and too poor. We hold ourselves separate and we assimilate. We are too smart and too ignorant. We control the media and the banks, we caused 9/11 (because no Jews were killed that day) and we started ISIS. We brought the Black Plague to Europe and we caused Germany's financial problems at the turn of the 20th century. We have become occupiers and we are the new Nazis. We have gone from the victims of a genocide to the progenitors of a new one. We are everything that is wrong in this world.

            This might have been really hard for you to read, it made me a bit ill to write it. But this is who have been seen as a nation, and anti-Semitism is an irrational hatred that has no cause, it just is and always has been. This kind of hatred will never result in the world's love. This type of hatred causes Jews killed in terrorism in Israel to be greeted with headlines like "3 Palestinians killed by IDF Forces." It causes hummus to come with stickers that say "This company participates in apartheid." It causes Jews to be disinvited from international sporting events, and rallies with cries of "Back to the ovens!" and countless swastikas to be scrawled on Jewish homes from Montreal to NYC to Antwerp. This is not a world that is ever going to love us, no matter what we do.

            So what can we work towards? Respect. Let's look to the times when Jews, (and by extension Israel) were most respected. It was after our victory in the 6- Day War, when we showed the world we could defend our country defensively from essentially the rest of the Middle East. It was when the Maccabis won a decisive victory of the small against the large and the weak against the strong. It was after the Warsaw ghetto uprising and the partisans in the forest. It was when the Jews of Persia defended themselves against certain annihilation in the story of Purim (which is coming up soon!) It is in all the stories of heroism, when Jews fight back against their aggressors (with selfie sticks, guitars, or the terrorist's own knife!) It is when Israel worries about the safety of it's citizens and Jews around the world, without worrying so much about the world's love. It's when we show our strength, our might and our fortitude- when we refuse to be victims.

           So me? I will continue to advocate for the world's respect- not through unprovoked violence or war, but through a brave army, a responsibly armed populace and whatever other measures are necessary to keep us all safe and strong. Because that love we all want from the rest of the world? In my opinion, it's not coming. And I'm okay with that. 

Am Yisrael Chai- The Nation of Israel Lives.

The streets wear our pride

Enough is Most Definitely Enough

      Hello readers! Thanks for stopping by. This post is going to talk about some hard truths, so if you are the type of person who wants to debate murders in Israel based on where they occurred, please stop reading. If you want to explain to me the pathological and psychological reasons that would justify this murder, please stop reading. If you want to equate this murder with unsolved "Jewish extremism" cases and "price tag" graffiti, please stop reading. If you want to just forget about this terror, see how we can build bridges and move forward as soon as possible, please stop reading. If you are choosing to blame this on Bibi, or settlements, or poverty in Gaza, or recent incitement or anything except a culture that, since its inception, has sought to raise, train and glorify murderers of Jews, please stop reading. And none of this is because I think you are a bad person, or unworthy of reading. It is because my words and my anger and my anguish will be so outside your realm of comprehension, I fear you will gain nothing from them.

        For everyone else, scream with me. Raise your streaming eyes to the sky with me and pray as hard as you can for G-d to protect our holy brothers and sisters. Place your well-earned fury where it needs to be- at a people and an ideology that do not care that you are a mother, or that you live in Otniel versus Tel Aviv. They do not care if you are 80 years old, shuffling along with a walker. They do not care if you shirked the draft, or if you have served in the IDF for 20 years. They do not blink at the sight of your crying baby in the backseat or shrink at the possibility of having their "holy work" cut short by many armed civilians nearby. And sure, they are being incited, but this is not new. This is not some new wave of hatred that has suddenly and recently grabbed hold of the Palestinian population. This is what they have been raised to believe in 2016, but also in 1995, 1968 and 1925. 

         If you are reading this, you understand all this. You, like me, are at a loss for what to do. How do we keep our people safe and cut off the threat? How do we fight this unwinnable social media battle against a world that sees us as the oppressors and our murderers as the underdog? How do we cut through the divisions that live in our own camp, where so many well-meaning Israel- supporters still erroneously blame our struggles on "the West Bank?" How do we explain to them that they need to change their terminology, their mindsets; to realize that Jews have valid, ancestral, real, indigenous rights to all of Israel, including Judea and Samaria?

         Seems you can't use the word "indigenous" these days in some circles without mentioning super-Zionist, and indigenous-rights activist, Ryan Bellerose. As a Metis Indian, Ryan speaks out tirelessly to try and teach Jews how our struggle for our homeland is one of an indigenous people returning to their rightful home, not some colonialist enterprise for a safe space after the Holocaust. One of the things I like about him is that he speaks his mind, without editing, and people respond. As right- wing as you think I am, I could be a lot more so, and I definitely temper my words depending on the company around me. Ryan doesn't. I'm pretty jealous. He's here in Israel this month, touring and lecturing and hanging out, and I was lucky enough to meet him in one of his rare breaks in action. Meeting him was weird- I get a lot of friend requests on Facebook from fellow active Zionists, but I generally don't accept if I don't know them. My mom instructed me to accept Ryan, and in the time since, I've found myself nodding my head and "liking" much of his words of "politically incorrect" wisdom. 

I am not this tiny. Ryan is just bear-sized.

        I asked him 3 questions: Why are Jews right in thinking this land is ours? Why are we so scared to say that out loud? And finally, what can we do to argue our case more convincingly? His basic premise, on one leg, is this: The Jewish claim to the land of Israel (and the whole land, by the way!) is irrefutable. It is archaeological, it is linguistic, and cultural. Our claim is everywhere in the country, under the ground and permeating every tree in the forest and rock in the desert. We are scared to assert this right because our mentality is one of the Jew who still desperately wants to be thought of as "the white European" otherwise known as the apex of civilized society. We have, throughout our tenure in the diaspora, strived to ingratiate ourselves into that genteel society, to "pass" in a community that always rejected us. I nodded along as he explained that we are still doing that, and that Jews who apologize for Israel constantly, whether outspokenly (like in JVP or JStreet) or even more passively, are trying their hardest to maintain their seat at the "white European" (or American, or Canadian) table. He suggests to fix this, we as Jews need to "de-colonize." He explained we need to "see yourselves through a Jewish lens and stop identifying ourselves through a white-European lens." Whoa. 

          I feel comforted by these words. Having never doubted the Jews claims to the Land of Israel and always fought against those who would marginalize us realists who have found "land for peace" a ridiculous notion, Ryan's words resonate. They resonate more so because as a non-Jew, he is able to tap into a population that will take everything I say with a grain of salt. For everyone who dismisses me as some brainwashed, modern Orthodox, Bnei Akiva-type, crazy right-winger, Ryan is none of those things. And if both of us can come to the same exact conclusion, I welcome him and thank him for his contributions to our fight.

         As I write this, there has been another attack in "the settlements." A pregnant woman has been stabbed by a terrorist who was shot in the chase as he ran away. Reports are the woman almost lost her baby. Thoughts I had? I'm glad the murderer was killed and not taken to an Israeli hospital for treatment by a Jewish doctor. I don't care if they name 100 streets after him, it just shows the world their depravity. I wish a checkpoint had been there to stop him. I wish we could employ only Jewish labor, at least until we see real changes and can ensure our safety. I wish this attack wasn't just one of so many, destined to get lost in the shuffle. I wish this would stop occurring in "the settlements" which will no doubt cheapen her blood and breed excuses. I hope this is  the attack that turns leftists into crazy right wingers like me. I hope we can all finally band together, no matter our ideology, and work toward a better future for the Jews in this country. There will be other times to talk about "coexistence" and "meeting in the middle." More silly conversation about "2- state solutions" and "finding the Muslim moderates." There will be more time for daydreams in the future. But for me, that time is not right now.

         Now is the time to stand up for your Jewish brothers and to pray for your soldiers and policemen. Now is the time to stand shoulder to shoulder with the "settlers" because they're not different, and we're all hurting. Now is the time to pray for every victim of terror, just as peace-loving and kind-hearted as anyone else you know. And now is the time to be strong, to not be afraid. To be vigilant, but not become a shut-in. Now is the time to wave your flag, stand on your rooftop (proverbially or literally) and scream "Am Yisrael Chai- The nation of Israel lives!" We are here, we deserve to be here, and we are not going anywhere.

Fear and Loathing in Jerusalem

        "Jordana, I really want to come to visit Jerusalem tomorrow, but is it safe?" If I had a dollar for every time I've been asked some variation of that question in the past four months or so, I'd be a millionaire! Well, not exactly- but I could afford a really nice meal. It is a bizarre question for me at first, because they are essentially asking if the place I live- where I work, shop, socialize and walk around- is dangerous for them to visit. You know, because of the terrorist stabbings that have been happening with nauseating regularity in our holy city. 

         But I get it. If all I kept hearing was "stabbing in central Jerusalem...car ramming in Jerusalem.... thwarted stabbing attempt in Jerusalem..."on the news all day, I'd probably be a bit freaked out too. I mean, how do we even live? The answer is the same well-trod answer Jerusalemites have been giving for the past who-knows-how-many years, "Life goes on." Sure, you pause every time you hear about some new attack, you frantically search the internet for information, you discuss it with your friends and co-workers. But inevitably, you will realize that you're out of milk, that the bank is closing soon or that the light rail train in 3 minutes away, and you will return to your regularly scheduled life, a bit tenser, but in astonishingly short turnaround time.

It does get a little sticky when there is nowhere in your daily routine that hasn't been targeted. The shuk, where I have spent countless daytime hours picking out fruits and vegetables and evening hours having drinks with friends? Yep, two women with scissors started stabbing people there. The Central bus station, my main hub for getting out of or back into the city, several times weekly? It's been targeted a number of times. Countless bus stops, bustling city corners and road junctions that I would recognize anywhere- suddenly flashed across TV screens as the site of the most recent attack against my Jewish brothers and sisters, my brave and beloved policemen and soldiers. And while the armed populace has become more vigilant, more adept at neutralizing and killing the terrorists quicker, it bizarrely hasn't stopped the attacks from occurring.

         People are most scared of the Old City, and that breaks my heart. The area of Jerusalem where all visitors yearn to come and spend time and pray is now one of the areas they are most scared to visit. For months I would calm friends and say "Take Shaar Yafo/Jaffa Gate.It's all tourists and nothing has happened there." And then something happened there. And now I don't know what to say to friends. Because I am not in their shoes, looking in from the outside. Would I still go to the Old City through Jaffa Gate? Yes, and it's definitely not because I'm so brave. It is because of this.

         As hard as it is, I can not be scared of my city. I can keep my hands on my pepper spray, I can avoid suspicious-looking passersby (yes, through profiling- not sorry!) and I can be aware of my surroundings. But I can not be scared of my city. I can warn others of where to go and where not to go, I can give suggestions of routes or streets to take or avoid. But I can not be scared of my city. I can follow the news one day and shut it all out the next, to stay sane. But I can not be scared of my city.

        My city isn't like Tel Aviv or Haifa, or Beit Shemesh or even Tzfat. My city is the capital of Israel and the eternal capital of the Jewish homeland. It represents so much more to me and the Jewish people than anywhere else. We have cried, prayed for and bled for Jerusalem. I personally moved across the world, all alone, in order to live in Jerusalem. So I can not be scared of my city. And I hope you will come here and join me in my city- in our city- and we will not be afraid.

The Jew Stands Alone

           All we can think about these days is the terror.The terror we thought had abated, but in reality, took a nap and then hit us in a truly intense and personal way. A beautiful boy, Ezra Schwartz,  just 18 and spending his "year in Israel" as me and all my friends had done, was murdered by a Palestinian terrorist with an Uzi, while on his way back from giving food to lone soldiers. You really couldn't have scripted a more tragic end to such a special life. Even in a country and a time where these attacks have become somewhat expected and eerily commonplace, this loss hit me hard. I couldn't sleep or eat, and I found myself voraciously looking for information and photos and video of this kid I never knew, but felt like I personally lost. And I think we all did here in Israel, most especially the American-olim community. I thought of how I myself was "an American tourist in Israel" maybe 50 times on various Birthright and vacation trips. I spent the year here in seminary. When I was that age, I had no doubt whatsoever that once my year was up, I'd move back to New York and live a safe and happy Jewish life in America. Things change and I thank G-d I was bitten by the aliyah bug eventually, but my life mirrored Ezra's really closely at that point in my life. I was exactly what he was- an "American Jewish tourist in Israel." I thought of his friends and the other kids in his gap year, who must all be understandably afraid. About his parents and family, who did the most normal thing Orthodox American parents can do- send their kid to Israel for the year. I thought about his community, who could never fathom that tragedy would hit them from so far away.
           In the flood of articles to come out in the aftermath, one stood out to me as a new immigrant. It's common knowledge that this murder has been widely publicized in Israeli and Jewish media, but almost not at all in European and American media. As with many Jewish murders by terrorism in Israel, the world yawns. But the author of this article was truly disheartened by the fact that this American Jew, without the stain of Israeli citizenship, much less a (cringe) "settler" was being ignored by most of the American media and the president of the United States. She didn't understand how American citizens killed in recent terror attacks in France and Mali received so much more media attention. She lamented the idea that, G-d forbid, if it was her or her family member who suffered the same fate, she would be equally abandoned by the country she loved and lived in for so many years. She rightly understood that as an American Jew who left to live in Israel, any tragedy that befell her here in Israel would be even less worthy of mention in the country where she is still a citizen.
             To say nothing of my disdain for the current American president (and trust me, after over 7 years, I have what to say), it struck me how my personal viewpoint differed so greatly from the writer of this article. First, the lack of media attention didn't surprise me, nor did the near-radio silence and lack of condemnation from the State Department. I have come to expect exactly this from the world we live in, and much more tragically, from the country where I grew up and still appreciate tremendously. I chose to focus on the local papers in Boston who wrote beautiful tributes, and the senators and representatives on both sides of the aisle who remembered Ezra publicly. I had gratitude to the select (and to be fair, mostly conservative) national media who did mention Ezra's loss and the Jewish community's outpouring of support. But call me jaded, I'm just not surprised anymore, nor am I particularly upset.
            When articles about murdered Jews come with rationalizations and equivocations, it's a real blow. When the State Department or president mentions a Jewish death in Israel and follows it with calls for "restraint on all sides," it negates all that came before it. When anti-Semites on social media use your tragedy as fodder for their own agenda, you can't help but wish they didn't know about it at all. And when you have to doubt the country that you pledged allegiance to for twelve years, doubt their allegiance to you, it's really an awful feeling.
            I don't know when it happened, and it definitely hasn't always been this way, but I have come to the realization that at the end of the day, the Israeli and world Jewish communities are the only ones who will love, honor and respect me no matter what. As we have seen with Ezra, all victims of Palestinian terror, and Jewish victims of terror around the world, we are our own champions. We are the ones who will remember us, the ones who will memorialize us. We are the ones who will pray for us and the ones who will let the world know what we lost. We are the only ones who will fight for our rights and our homeland. And while I am forever grateful to our allies in the world- the Christians and the Muslims and the atheists and the Buddhists who care about us and our safety- we, the Jewish nation, are our one steadfast support system. Throughout our history, we have had countless enemies, with no one to turn to, no one to defend us. We have had ourselves and only ourselves through the millenia, and now is no different. I know a lot of you will read this and think "What a stupid girl. I am a proud American/Parisian/Brit/Aussie Jew. I have plenty of friends who would stand for me, defend me." And I have no doubt that they would. I, too, have friends who love me, love the Jewish people, even love Israel. But you know what? The only support I need in this world is that of my fellow Jews. I know that if I have that then the fickle affections of Europe or the United States won't affect me. That if, G-d forbid, anything happens to me, or someone I love, I won't have to live with the anguish of feeling deserted by the country where I was born. I know that this country, my country, my government and my people will embrace me, support me and love me like I love them. Because we are one family and that is what family does.
               I know I say this a lot, but I always mean it- The Nation of Israel Lives- with each other and for each other. Am Yisrael Chai.

Calling a Spade a Spade

       I haven't written in a while, mostly because I haven't had that much to say and I don't like to post just for posting's sake. Then, furiously and all at once, things happen and I have to choose what to write about, and how to organize my disparate and racing thoughts into one coherent, and hopefully interesting, blog post.
      Three things I want to weave together to hopefully make some sense of this crazy, scary, beautiful, infuriating world in which we live. The first is the EU boycott and labeling of products made in "disputed areas" of Israel. Needless to say, it sickens me to my very core, it is clearly and without question (very) thinly veiled anti Semitism, it is eerily reminiscent of the darkest era of human history, and it sets a hideous precedent of blaming the victim. Second, the attacks in Paris are truly heartbreaking. I know that people are valid in their anger towards this world that chooses to demonize Israel, while Israelis and Jews would never brutally murder over 150 Frenchmen in the name of Judaism or Israel. I know there is justifiable disgust in a world that excuses violence against innocent Jewish Israelis, but denounces it against innocent French. I get all that. But that's not my bag. I can only think that as tolerant as the liberal French are (too tolerant maybe for a crazy right-winger like myself), it is much more out of trying to see the good in humanity, and less due to willfully ignoring the bad. In trying to see the good, one often has to ignore the obvious bad, but I don't think anyone "deserved" this or "got what was coming to them." No one deserves to be murdered at a rock show by a merciless jihadist on a religious crusade. The third, and most personal thread is something that happened to me this past shabbat.
          I was having a nice lunch with new friends, when talk turned to a mutual acquaintance who I like very much but have clashed with ideologically on political issues in the past. I therefore try as hard as possible to keep the peace when I see her and stay on neutral topics (weather, movies, Israeli bureaucracy, etc) She often steers the conversation back to controversial topics, and, let's be honest, I don't back down. Still, I would tell anyone who asked that I like her and we get along just fine. My friend then tells me that she mentioned to a group of people that she has unfollowed me on Facebook. For those of you who don't know, that means she and I are still friends on Facebook, but she isn't alerted to anything I post or comment. While this fact irritated me, as she is someone who always crows about "hearing both sides" and "loving thoughtful debate", I had to be fair- I had unfollowed her myself many months ago. But what came next really shocked me: "Yeah, she said she can't follow you because of all the racist things you post." I was absolutely floored. Shocked. Disgusted.
             For those of you who aren't my Facebook friends, I post pretty regularly. Usually it's photos of me and my friends and family, scenic shots of the gorgeous landscape of Israel, and sometimes funny or heartwarming videos. On the rare occasion when I post something political, I try and keep it neutral/skewing pro-Israel. I have many liberal/Left friends on Facebook who I a) don't want to fight with b) don't want to aggravate (although why my different views bother the open-minded community so much is, again, curious) and c) don't want to alienate. So instead of posting something anti-anyone, I try and post things that are pro-Jewish/Israel. That way, I bring light onto my Facebook world instead of darkness. Or at least that's what I believed. But here I am, being called a "racist", a term I don't take lightly or shrug off, because I choose to defend Jews and Israel above anyone else. And you know what? I don't even feel a little bit bad about it. But I am horrified that my open-minded, peace-loving and coexistence-spouting friends see my Jewish pride as an excuse to label me a racist. I personally don't think it's brave or noble to throw your own people under the bus to make an ill-informed political statement, but if you want to do that, it's your right.  I take offense to being called a racist for rightly calling Islamists, who kill in the name of Islam, terrorists. I am not calling all Muslims terrorists. But I am also not under the delusion that a terrorist's faith plays no role in the actions they take. I take offense to being shamed for defending Jews who live in Judea and Samaria and not bowing to the insane belief that they are the cause of Palestinian aggression. And I will not be silenced and denounced as a "racist" for telling the anti-Zionists of the world, whether in real life or on social media, that their hatred of Israel is modern-day- anti-Semitism and I will not tolerate it.
              So let's tie these three seemingly disparate pieces together to try and make sense of a world gone mad- literally. When the world turns a blind eye to terrorism in their midst and then trains that blind eye on punishing the one free democracy in the Middle East with a boycott focused on destroying their economy- there is a problem. When defense of your own people at the expense of a different culture bent on destroying them is seen as "racist"- there is a problem. When you can not label the terror organizations that stare at you in the face, daring you to call them by name, screaming their desired goals as they go- when you have to instead blame poverty, and lack of education, and climate change, and settlements, and Islamophobia and everything except what the terrorists are actually telling you is the reason- there is a problem. And if you purport to be the one who believes that "everyone's opinion matters" and "everyone is entitled to their views" and you then silence the views that conflict with your own- there is a problem.
               Everything is interconnected, and I'm not saying my views are the only valid ones (although they are unapologetically valid to me), but we need to connect the dots. We can't live in a vacuum or with our heads in the sand (2 cliches in one sentence- oy!) We need to be real, and we need to be kind. Even me, in my crazy- Zionist- right-wing-extremist mindset knows that these 2 characteristics are in no way in conflict. Be kind, look for the good, help others and don't judge. But be real, too. When people say things, believe them. And when they do things, don't spend your whole day justifying and equivocating. Be aware, and be safe. My heart is with the victims of terror in Paris, and everywhere in this world terror spreads. And of course, first and always, with Israel. Am Yisrael Chai.

Wouldn't It Be Nice?

I have started and re-started writing this blog post every day since the current wave of terror started about 2 weeks ago. And, sadly, each post would have been incomplete without including the latest news, the newest angle or the most recent heroic story. I gave an hour-long tour at my job yesterday, only to come back and find that I missed two attacks in different areas of Israel. In one hour. So I will do my best to organize my frenzied, terrified and confusing thoughts into one (hopefully) readable post.

Wouldn't it be nice?


Wouldn't it be nice if I could board a bus, shop in a supermarket or walk to my friend's house without my heart beating out of my chest? Without my eyes darting, my neck craning, constantly trying to turn myself into a moving target instead of a stationary one? I try to be vigilant, to profile (luckily, I'm not a liberal, so I don't even feel bad) but the terrorists are as young as 13 and women have gotten in on the action, so it gets tougher. I clutch my pepper spray and turn off my headphones as I watch the list of terrorized areas grow- Jerusalem, Tel Aviv, Petach Tikva, Maaleh Adumim. The Old City and the light rail stations, the main streets and the side streets. And now the buses. The buses, which for years I avoided because of their prominence for terror during the Second Intifada, suddenly again a target, a nightmare realized. X-Ray- vision would be nice.

Meet my new constant companion- pepper spray.

Wouldn't it be nice if a mainstream media outlet reported truthfully, without anti-Israel bias? If the headlines read "Palestinians terrorist stabs Jew" instead of "Israel shoots Palestinian"? Sure, the Palestinian was shot- that's pretty much the only way to win a knife fight! If you find another way, please tell me! I'm pretty defenseless over here with my little pepper spray. And the media volume is too much to bear, the rhetoric too high. I vacillate between wanting Israeli news reported worldwide and knowing that once it is, Israel will look like the aggressor and instead of the world ignoring us, they will demonize us. I wish I could find an article to share with my friends on Facebook that tells the truth and also isn't from an Israeli/Jewish publication. An unbiased Washington Post piece would be nice.

Wouldn't it be nice if rational people in the world rallied around us, vocally and unequivocally? Didn't refer to this as a "cycle of violence," as if shooting terrorists isn't warranted? Can't they just refrain from telling "both sides to settle down" as if we're two equally impertinent seven year olds in a fight? There is a Left-wing writer who, instead of using this time to advocate for Israelis and our unquestioned safety, is shaming Jews into placating Arabs. Her microphone is huge, mine is tiny. So any American Jews reading her words are going to be misled into thinking this conflict is about anything but what it is. It's not about bubbling frustration over the Temple Mount, or the "occupation." It's not about Duma or Gaza or the checkpoints or the security wall or the blockade. It is about murdering Jews; frequently, randomly and brutally. Not "settlers," policemen or soldiers. Sure, them too, But in reality, according to a large majority of Palestinian and Israeli Arabs, all Jews in Israel are guilty and all worthy of the same fate. A little more moral clarity would be nice.

Wouldn't it be nice if someone had a solution? Because as "radical" as my ideas might be, I can't think of that many that would work right now. If I thought house demolitions, kill- shots to terrorists and curfews would stop this, I'd be the biggest cheerleader. But our largest obstacle right now is incitement and indoctrination- and no checkpoints or metal detectors can stop that. And so we choose to blame the government for not doing more- and even I vent my frustration- but what is it they should be doing? What's the answer? It would be nice if someone came up with something good and soon.

And wouldn't it be so nice if Israel could just live in peace? Not the peace that comes from capitulating, or cutting off one arm to keep the other- but real peace? Who honestly believes that any right-winger wants war, wants this? Who doesn't realize that we all just want the right to live as Jews in the Jewish homeland, without apologizing? We all want a safe place to live, for our kids to grow up. We all want our biggest gripe to be the rising price of hummus or the spottiness of Egged buses. No one wants to live in constant fear, constant anger and constant dread. No one wants to choose between pepper spray and a taser, or sign up for a "stabbing self-defense class." No one wants to feel petrified to leave the house, to attend a wedding, to lay on the beach. No one, not the Left and not the Right wants war. It would be nice to live in safety.

It would be nice to live in peace.

Get On The Bus, Gus

As an underqualified but highly motivated Aliyah tour guide, I thought I’d give my perspective on the transportation system here in Israel. Please read on for the good, the bad, the ridiculous and the insane of Egged, Dan, Kavim and more- AKA- The Israeli Bus System.

I would be remiss if I did not mention that I am something of a bus novice here in Israel. In my early days of visiting Israel, buses did not have a good reputation. And by that I mean that they were terrorist targets and gave me and my mother feelings of panic just walking near one. Was this a fair assessment? Kind of. There were definitely attacks during those years of the Second Intifada where just the sight of a bus would have me crossing the street, but the vast majority of buses rolled on, safely and soundly. This fear, however, led to strict instructions by my mother to never, under any circumstances, take a bus. It also compelled her to pay for the taxis that would inevitably become my preferred mode of transportation. As the years passed and my trips to Israel became more frequent and longer, my mom was kinda like “This is getting expensive.” And once the money train stopped, wouldn’t ya know it? I started taking the bus again! I remember my triumphant return to a public Jerusalem bus, marked with only two short prayers to G-d for my safety and 10 friends taking photos of the auspicious occasion. From then on, it just wasn’t that bad.

In New York, I had a car. I wasn’t one of those cool New Yorkers who lived on the subway, or the less- cool ones who rode the LIRR (kidding!) I lived in the outer boroughs and worked in several different schools as a speech pathologist, so as the saying goes “I lived in my car.” I remember when I told my mother I wanted to make Aliyah, she said “How could you leave your niece and nephews? Daddy? Your car?!” She, and I, if I’m honest, knew how attached I was to having my own vehicle. I’m a goer and a doer and being on someone else’s schedule, in this case, the Egged Bus Company, was going to be a challenge.

And a challenge it has been! I would like to take you on a sample bus ride to work so you can understand the little difficulties that add up to a total bus headache. What you want to do first is download the Moovit app for your phone. Created by Israelis (of course) this app uses GPS to create a bus/train/walking route for you, tell you how long the trip should take and estimate how soon your bus will arrive. I would like to emphasize should because being wrong is not unheard of. So you choose the route that looks easiest. Sometimes that route will take 2 buses- don’t do it. Do the “more walking” option because honestly, the only thing worse than waiting for one bus is waiting for back to back buses. So you get your bus and you’re the third person to board. Except because it’s Israel, people cut in line and you become the 6^th person to board. Except because I’m from NYC, I get back to being 4^th. Okay. Unfortunately, the first person is paying with cash (a 100 shekel bill on a fare of 6.90) and the third person’s bus card is malfunctioning but feels that a 5 minute argument with the bus driver would be the best course of action (pro tip- you will never win with the bus driver- the house always wins.) Finally, you swipe your card. When I first moved here, I would buy rides in increments of 20 until I discovered the “monthly unlimited” option (cue the angels and harps.) I have to tell you, as a former shopaholic- this card is my one monthly splurge. For about 65 dollars, I can ride as many buses and light rails as I want for the entire month! It’s amazing! And I know you’re thinking- okay, Jords, relax- but it is basically the biggest purchase of my month nowadays, and I look forward to the 1^st of every month now for just that reason. A whole month of unlimited bus rides, far as the eye can see!

Did I actually take a selfie with my Rav Kav? Yes. Because it's love.

So I’m on the bus, right? Great. There are only 2 types of buses generally. Completely empty and bursting at the seams full. So your ride will go one of 2 ways- seated or smushed up against the handrail, praying for the next stop to be the one the entire bus is waiting for. Let’s say it’s empty, as most of my morning ones are. I get my seat and it is glorious. I put on my headphones and start reading one of the 50 articles I have “saved for later” on my phone. Inevitably, the bus will stop and more people will get on. And inevitably, regardless of how many empty seats are around me, their seat of choice will be next to me. Often I have wondered “why?” Why sit next to me and invade my space when there are so many other’s spaces that can be equally invaded? I believe it comes down to these elements: 1) I am clean/smell good (cannot be overstated on a Jerusalem bus) 2) I look safe- say what you want about political correctness, but the young American (because apparently it’s obvious) woman of ambiguous religious level is always a safe bet. I won’t be fervently praying next to you, reeking of smoke next to you or loudly gabbing on the phone next to you and 3) I look like I want nothing to do with you. Why is this a plus, you may wonder? Because I will not speak to you, not breathe on you and not cough on you unless my life depends on it. And when you are on your way from or to work, that’s a real blessing. This is all well and good, unless you’re me and you would kill for an empty seat next to you once in a while. Or would it be possible that the person next to me is a cute, religious young man once in a while? Nope. I attract every other type of person though- men and women, children and the elderly, Hasidic and Arab, French and Israeli- I am an equal opportunity seatmate.

Once on the bus, the driving style of the bus driver is really anyone’s guess. The majority of my rides are smooth and easy, but I have definitely had more than my share of rides that ended with my kissing the sweet, sweet pavement upon reaching my destination.

You have buses that come super late and buses that show up early, so you can wave goodbye to them with tears in your eyes as you hunker down to wait for the next. You have buses with open windows in the rain and no A/C in the summer. Some of the hottest days of August are not complete without a sweltering standing-room-only ride chugging up the hill from the Old City, smelling the smells and feeling the feels of your fellow man as you blast your music, think of puppies and pray that the lights all turn green. You have the people who will talk on the phone as if they are on their own patios, sharing all their private information with everyone around them, and the old ladies who will shush you when you quietly chat with your friend. You will have the tourists who will inevitably miss their stop and then get detailed directions to get back on track and the old timers with their carts full of produce, who have been taking that bus and that route since its inception.

You will see the hills of Jerusalem and the Judean desert and the highrises of Tel Aviv, and the passing trains, the fallow fields and a herd of cows and then an hour later, a line of camels. You will see heart-stopping drops and your ears will pop as altitudes change. You will traverse the entire country in less than a day and experience the wonder and the miracle of this land on every trip. And you will miss your car, and pray that one day you will be able to afford one here. But in the meantime, you will make the best of this time on the bus, when you can turn on your headphones, stare out the window and enjoy the beauty of your new home.

All day. Every day. Hi Israel.

And The Hits Just Keep On Comin'

         I wasn't planning on blogging this week, running around trying to get ready for my first trip back to New York since my aliyah, but I have so many thoughts and emotions bubbling up inside me, trying desperately to get out and be written down. It boils down to this: American Jews think they know what is best for Israel better than Israeli Jews. I know you have seen so many articles with exactly this premise, but as a former American Jew and current Israeli- American Jew, I feel my voice is somewhat unique. I have lived on both sides of this debate, and here's my personal take.
          I remember living in New York and being an ardent Zionist. I followed Israeli news as avidly as I did American news. I followed the political shenanigans and the wars. I followed the peace process and the Intifada. I followed the US-Israeli relationship from Clinton through Obama, all from the perspective of an American Jew who loved Israel and wanted what was best for it. And there were times when I agreed with what they did over there, and times that I vehemently disagreed. There were prime ministers I liked, and those I loathed (Olmert, Barak, Sharon after "the Disengagement.") There were times  worried for the country, and voiced that concern to friends and other Jews. There were times that I voiced concerns loudly and publicly. But during those times, there was always a stronger inner voice, one I remember vividly, that would say to me, "Oh, you're so passionate, Brown? You know best? So go over there and live there. Then you can scream and protest. Until then, who are you to say how Israelis should vote/decide/live?" I always listened to that voice, because ultimately, I was living in my American bubble, safe from those decisions I made for the people of Israel, even though I always wanted what was best for them.
         Unfortunately, over the past days since our election, the same cannot be said for my American brothers and sisters who choose to talk down to the Israeli public as if we are fools who can not be trusted to make decisions for our own country. Be it on social media, the mainstream media or the State Department itself, there is a gang of (I'm, assuming) well- meaning American Jews who, as if in a chorus of patronization, are demonizing both our democratically elected leadership and us morons who democratically elected them. They have been minimizing our vote, and they have been leaving us feeling abandoned at the UN. They have been railing against us at their "Pro-Israel, Pro-Peace" conferences and they have leaking threatening governmental action. And I know that were I still living in the US and the election had gone the other way, I mght be angry and I might be worried, but I would not be spending all my waking hours posting, blogging, opining and basically berating my Jewish brothers and sisters in Israel for their stupidity. Which is what so many members of the liberal Jewish-American brain trust have been doing since the election.
          It is difficult for me to take this verbal punishment lying down for several reasons. One is because American Jews don't actually live here. They did not run with me to the bomb shelters last summer. They did not fear standing at the light-rail station or a bus stop while Jerusalem was gripped by fear during a spate of terrorist attacks this past fall. They didn't hear the constant sirens in Ashkelon and Sderot and fear for their safety as weeks became months. They weren't ripped from their homes and greenhouses in Gush Katif, only to see them demolished and replaced by terrorist bases. They don't live, work, raise children and enjoy life in Gush Etzion- which for anyone who has been there is not a vile mass of sinister settlements, but vibrant and beautiful group of Jewish cities. These well- meaning American Jews are not Europeans, worried about their own personal safety as Jews, and the possibility that mass Jewish emigration is imminent. They are ensconced in liberal and heavily Jewish bubbles in New York, Los Angeles and DC, and that is their reality.
         It is easier to demonize Benjamin Netanyahu, a man who has figuratively and literally offered his life to the Jewish state, rather than shine a light on the extremely worrying fact that their own president has taken actions that can only be described as "against Israeli interests" consistently for the past seven years. Are liberal American Jews more beholden to the feelings of their president than they are to the leader of the Israeli people on matters pertaining to Israeli safety and well-being? Do they actually believe that a man who refuses to condemn terrorists in Iran, Syria and Europe cares more about the people of Israel than it's own freely elected leader? Do they not see the possibility that Obama maybe doesn't love Israel? That his well-documented position of supports a result of overwhelming American support for the Jewish state? Is none of what I'm saying even remotely possible? Or is it possible that American Jews are significantly more American than Jewish? Maybe they truly feel the safety and security of we Israeli Jews is worth sacrificing on the minuscule chance that peace can be achieved with our neighbors soon and in our time?
          A lot has been said about Bibi's comment that a two- state solution isn't really possible right now. Many who hate him used this opportunity to point out what a racist, bigoted war-monger he is. Sure, ok, why not? But to the heart of what he said, please answer me this- who is our peace partner right now, clamoring for this peace process to continue? Is it Fatah- who refuses to recognize our existence and has a president on his 11th year of a four- year term? Or is it Hamas in Gaza- whose very charter calls for each and every Jew to take a one-way trip "into the sea"? And are these the same peace partners who have rejected every Israeli offer since 1994, including the release of thousands of known terrorists and a fully Judenrein Gaza strip? Why is the next offer the one they will finally accept? Why is creating a new Gaza in the West Bank the answer to the mystifying problem of the conflict? And why, most of all, do American Jews believe that they know better? That they have the answers, the key to our peaceful future? And before you wonder, I would feel exactly the same if I was one of those American Jews, living comfortably and safely in Queens, New York.
          Maybe I have been rambling. Maybe I have been focusing on a small subsection of ire in a sea of Israeli support. Maybe when I get back to the States, I will be welcomed with love and well-wishes for my new home, and I will realize I have been worried over nothing. But I do know that whether I am here or there, I will continue support my fellow Israelis and the country where  I have chosen to live- and that regardless of those who seek to patronize us or make us feel small, we are strong and we are proud and as always "Am Yisrael Chai- The Nation of Israel Lives."