Perspective

I keep making excuses for my lack of productivity on this blog. The goal was to write about my aliyah. Well, that is old news. There comes a time in an olah's life where it switches from "oh! You just got here!" to "oh! You've been here for a while!" and I truly do not know what the delineation is, but it's happened. And the reason I have time to blog today is because the Tel Aviv municipality has canceled non-essential work for a Siren Day! Gone is the era of snow days. In this country, only an election or an incoming rocket will cause businesses to close. Not to mention we're having the warmest Autumn in nine years so snow isn't only not an issue, it's nowhere on the horizon. But the funniest part of this all is that I've been here long enough that this isn't even my first siren experience! That happened a few days after I got here.

This is the Iron Dome- Gd bless the Iron Dome

My mother calls me in a panic, wants to make sure I did the siren the right way. In the fortified room, in the basement, stayed there an extra 15 minutes to be safe. I didn't but I say "yep!" I take care of myself pretty well. It makes me laugh to think she's worried about me, here in the Jewish state. I face the enemy we know, in this case Islamic Jihad who are angry we've killed a leader of theirs. Meanwhile, my family sits in New York City, often referred to as Jew York City for its enormous Jewish population, now facing religious threats much like the rest of the country where I once lived. 

I recently went to NYC to visit my family and meet my new baby nephew (he is SO poopoopoo I literally can't even!) and my mom and I went to shul for Yom Kippur prayers. My mom kept glancing at the door, which made sense because she really can't wait to get out of shul. We were in the basement group service, whereas the other two services were upstairs near the front entrances. My mom turned to me and said "I don't like how that entrance isn't guarded" like the other two upstairs were. "Doesn't it make you nervous?" Now, by nature, I'm not a worrier and my mother is the definition of one (Jewish moms, yadda yadda) but for once I thought her anxiety might be founded.

I left America, the goldene medineh- the promised land for a people that was tortured by every country in the diaspora where they fled. Europe, North Africa and the Middle East all became inhospitable to their Jewish populations and it seemed like America was the first country to break that mold. And honestly, I would never compare America to what Jews are facing elsewhere in the world in 2019. I don't generally worry for my family's safety. But I do hear about a new incident (or ten) every day- a swastika on a synagogue, a vandalized cemetery, a beating of a Hasidic-looking Jew, a BDS resolution, a bomb threat, an anti-Semitic outburst on a subway- that makes me wonder if the clock is ticking on our time in the US.

Jewish cemetery in Nebraska vandalized, November 2019

I hope not. I don't want anyone to feel scared to threatened, least of all my family and friends. I don't want anyone to have to hide their Jewishness or their support for the Jewish state. And as much as I want people to make aliyah and come home, I don't want them to do it because they have to. I love my family intensely, but they don't want to move here (try as I might to badger them about it in nearly every conversation.) And if they ever do come, I want it to be running toward, not running away. So as I sit here on my unexpected Siren Day off from work, I think about how funny perspective is, with my mom terrified of rockets falling on Tel Aviv, and me feeling like I'm living in the safest country in the world to be Jewish. Perspective.

Five Years On

About two weeks ago was my 5th anniversary of Aliyah- or Aliyaversary as the Olim call it, proving we can’t have nice things. Whatever you call it, five full years have passed since I began this grand adventure of living in Israel. And let me tell you, it’s been an adventure! I have experienced the highest of highs and definitely the lowest lows of my life here. I have started and left jobs, met new friends, deepened relationships and let some go. I have moved house and city. I have (slightly) improved my Hebrew and (definitely) improved my Israeli knowledge. I have watched too many of the cohort I arrived with “go back home” wondering how, how, how they didn’t consider Israel their true home!

So if I may take this wealth of information I have gleaned after living here a half-decade and share some do’s and don’ts for making Aliyah. Because it’s true- it’s the hardest thing you will ever do, but also the best.

5 Years of Living the Dream

Do- make a plan

Depending on your age, the plan will differ. But if you’re younger or unmarried and unclear where you plan to live “forever,” give yourself a soft landing- an Ulpan, an unaudited college course, a coffee shop part- time job. Something that allows you to start out slowly and get your bearings here, while you still have money coming to you from your Aliyah. 

Don’t- make Aliyah while on vacation, Birthright, for a guy/gal you really like

I hate telling anyone not to move here but Israel is definitely a magical place, especially for visiting Jews. Don’t get swept up and try to extend the best vacation ever or “see what happens” with the hot soldier from your Birthright. I’ll tell you what happens. 99/100 times, it ends with you on the plane crying about how Tal ghosted you. 

Do- grow a pair

Please excuse my crudeness! I could have said “toughen up” but the sentiment remains. Israel is tough and Israelis are tough. Does that mean it’s not for you? No. Does that mean you have to be “rude”? Also no. It means that when you move to Israel, a little assertiveness may just save your life. There’s nothing rude about not letting people cut you in line and there’s nothing rude about telling your waiter you haven’t gotten food in 30 minutes. There’s nothing rude about asking for a lower price in the shuk and there’s nothing rude about wanting the girl on the bus to wear headphones instead of blasting music on her phone. Standing up for yourself may feel difficult for someone say, from Vancouver (kidding!) but it will make life here exponentially easier.

Don’t- have FOMO

Living so far away from your native country, you will be bound to miss a lot of things. I think we don't realize how many things we have until we're missing them. And while you may be able to fly in for the odd wedding and 90th birthday party (or if you're British, something even less major like an anniversary or a Pidyon haBen- seriously, Brits head back to England a lot) you will be missing engagements and births, graduations and Bat Mitzvahs. Not to mention Labor Days, Chanukas and Thanksgivings! Oh, how I miss my Thanksgivings! That said, you will also be front and center for the important events- those that take place in Israel! Your friends and family will hopefully decide that there is no better place to celebrate a big moment than in the Homeland, and you'll be one of the only people who will get to witness the blessed event! Plus, you'll be making new friends and all of their smachot will be here! Problem solved.

And with the advent of Facetime and Skype and even Instagram video, you can feel like your there while in your bed in pajamas. It's kind of even better! Plus, with social media being what it is, aren't we all in a perpetual state of FOMO anyway?

Do- calibrate expectations

Spoiler alert- people in America (Canada, England, Australia, France) make more money. For the same jobs. And often less hours. This is a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad fact. Sure, I’ve heard there are rich Israelis, haven’t met too many personally though so introduce me! But by and large, we make less, our houses are smaller, we have fewer cars and the stuff we want generally costs the same. So what do we do? We adapt! I was a total shopaholic in NYC. Now, I buy less and I’ve survived. We budget. We buy what’s most important. And some things are cheaper now, too. Travel to Europe- could I ever afford that living in the States? Buying produce at the shuk. And how much have I saved taking the bus?

You adapt to having less here and realize that your life can still be as fun, comfortable and rich (see what I did there?) even without all the tchotchkes of America (et al.)

Don’t- expect New York in the Middle East (Or Toronto, Sydney, London or Paris) 

Oh, your sushi is better in Brooklyn and your nail salon is better in Hendon? Tough toenails! We are in the Middle East people! And while it's not a Third World country (although some may lead you to believe that) we did have smoking breaks in the middle of movies like, 5 years ago. So while you may be used to the luxuries of life, some things you will have to do without. And if you ask enough people (although ask friends, not Secret Tel Aviv for better intel) you can find your new favorite sushi place, manicurist, and English-speaking dermatologist!

Do- learn Hebrew

Take this from someone who hasn't. Well, as any of my friends (and dates who force me to speak in Hebrew) will tell you, I speak Hebrew. Just not well. And just not willingly. Just not how I hoped I'd speak it. I didn't take Ulpan as seriously as I should, nearly all my friends are Anglo, I've lived in two English-heavy cities and I usually force my dates to converse in English (I'm worth it, it's fine.) But don't be me. L'lamed Ivrit. 

Don’t- just leave because it’s hard

I once heard a shiur (and I never remember anything from them, so this should be good) and the rabbi said that the opposite of pleasure isn't pain, it's comfort. And nowhere does this strike me more than in my Aliyah. I left what is the epitome of comfort in America- easy money, my entire family, friends from childhood, a car, a mall as big as a small city, and on and on. Comfortable, yep, but was it actual pleasure? I came to a place where a trip to the bank takes half your day and you fully want to throttle your bus driver, mailman and landlord over the course of one day. That said, the work that goes in to Aliyah, the effort and the blood, sweat and tears, only makes being here more pleasurable. It is always more enjoyable eating a delicious cake you baked than one you bought, wearing a sweater you knitted than one you got at Zara. There is no feeling of success greater than a quick and painless trip to Misrad Hapnim or finding your way from Tel Aviv to the Golan by yourself. You put effort into your businesses, your schoolwork, your relationships- things that matter can be hard, but the payoff is huge. That is Aliyah- a less comfortable life, maybe, but certainly a more pleasurable one.

And lastly...

Do- Understand that the future of the Jewish people is here

I get it. America has been very welcoming to Jews and there is probably no better place to be Jewish outside Israel than the tri-state area. All that said- what's happening in America, and Europe and South Africa, this "rise in anti-Semitism" is real and it's not new. And it won't be the first time and history is nothing if not cyclical. That doesn't mean you should make Aliyah because you're scared. It means you should make the idea of Aliyah, of living in the Jewish state, of starting or continuing your family here more of a reality and less of some nebulous nice idea that will never actually materialize. And if you really can't imagine doing it yourself, you should raise children in a way where Aliyah is a value and a goal. 

Aliyah and life in Israel is for every Jew, not just the crazy Zionists like me. You just have to plan well, come with a positive mindset and work really hard to make this the best life you can. 

And I hope you will, so that in 5, 10, however many years it takes, I can wish you a Mazal Tov on your own Aliyaversary!

The Five Stages of Dealing with Anti-Israel Social Media

If you're anything like me, you've gotten sucked into the news lately, and if you're pro-Israel, it can be a maddening ride, especially on social media. So like any other grief- like situation, let's get through these 5 steps, and come out the other side.

DENIAL: “Who are all these people on the internet calling my beautiful, kind and brave country everything from murderers to Nazis? Can’t be! They don’t know what they’re saying! If they only knew! They don’t mean it! It’s the optics- as soon as they hear the other side, they’ll understand!”

ANGER- “THESE VILE ANTI- SEMITES! How dare they?! Who do they think they ARE? What would THEY DO if someone ran at them with a machete?? Et tu BETTE MIDLER?? CHELSEA EFFING HANDLER SHUT THE EFF UP!”


BARGAINING- “We’ve sent aid to Haiti! We sent provisions to Gaza- that they destroyed! We tried rubber bullets, tear gas and threats to the rioters, but still they come! This is Hamas- Hamas are terrorists! We’ve made so many concessions! Oslo! Gush Katif! CHERRY TOMATOES!”



DEPRESSION: “I can’t do it. I can’t handle everyone hating me. Maybe if I apologize more, maybe if I capitulate more. I can’t handle the back and forth- “liking” pro- Israel posts and angrily fighting the trolls. So many anti-Israel trolls! Where do they come from and why don’t they like us? Why can't they see?"




ACCEPTANCE: “Wait a second. This wave of hatred also happened in 2012. And 2014. This happens every single time Israel has had the nerve to defend its people. And the haters will always hate, no matter what we say, or how many times, or however eloquently or loudly or calmly. So you know what? I’m gonna shut off Facebook, call my friend Dudu, fire up my electric scooter and go get a falafel while listening to Netta! Yalla BYE!”

70 Years Young

So it's Yom Hazikaron in Tel Aviv. Tonight, I heard the siren on the bus for the first time. I had always wondered what people riding on a bus did when the remembrance siren that sounds all over the country goes off for a full minute. Well, I don't know what every bus does, but ours stopped mid-street, everyone got out of their seats (driver included) and we stood solemnly, many with tears in our eyes, thinking whatever the siren made us think about.

Normally, I do the (insert number here) things I love most about Israel, but this year I'm going to take a bit of a break from that for several reasons:
1. I have been pretty sick with intense allergies since I got back to Israel. Weirdly, one of the reasons I loved Israel in the past was because I didn't have the killer seasonal allergies I did back in NYC. Whoops, guess I do!
2. After the month away and the allergy plague I was dealing with, I also have to work! And be social! Sadly, the list-making fell by the wayside. And
3. Making a list of over 50 of anything is hard! If I told you right now to make a list of the 50 things you love most about your mom, it would be tough, lemme tell ya. Well I did that twice in a row and starting today I will start collecting 71,  don't you worry! (Feel free to contribute ideas!)

Just decorating my new balcony!

So instead, I will write a love letter to my country and its people:

Dear Israelis,

Thank you for your warmth. Thank you for inviting me and hugging me and caring about me like your own family. Because honestly, I am. Thank you for inviting me to dance and joining me in lchaims! Thank you for dealing with (and not dealing with) my Hebrew and my accent. Thank you for building this amazing place in such a blindingly short period of time. Thank you for making the desert bloom, and helping the world every time it needed it (and being so gracious when the world rarely thanked you.) Thank you for your sons and daughters, and the incredible sacrifices they have made to ensure Israel can endure under incredible pressure.

Dear Israel, 

Thank you for being our sanctuary. Thank you for being the one place in the world where a Jew can be proud to be a Jew, where wearing a kippa won't get you punched, where a kosher meal is just around the corner (and then around the next one), where the calendar is lunar and the holidays have been celebrated by my people for centuries. Thanks you for taking in the survivors of the Shoah and the refugees from the Middle East, the tribes of Ethiopia and and India and the persecuted of the Soviet Union. And though some in America may forget (willfully or not), I will not forget the home you have given to millions of Jews in need, Jews truly escaping from exile.

Israelis,

You are impatient and you are generous to a fault. You are aggressive and you love fiercely. You are argumentative and you are innovative. You hate so much about this country and love it fully. Sometimes you leave because the golden streets of America (or Canada, or London, or Australia) call you, but you always know that this is your home.

Israel, 

You are beautiful and complex, you are so young and you are ancient. You are left and "hard right." You are vegan and you barbecue for every occasion. You are ultra-Orthodox and you are the most progressive country in the region. You are Jerusalem and Tel Aviv, but you are also Haifa and the desert and the mountains and Tzfat and Judea and Samaria and all of you is home.

Dearest Israelis,

My blessing to you is limitless success and wealth. May we build together a land so full of material wealth that American Jews come here to build their fortunes! May you continue to grow in number and in joy- may we unify as a people in a land as we were always meant to- one Nation with one heart. And may our differences not tear us apart, may they teach us more about one another. May we realize that we, each other, are the greatest gift we have. And may we celebrate many more smachot together.

Dearest Israel,

My blessing to you is safety and strength. May our holy army remain safe from harm, and may our enemies see no fruits from their terror. May G-d continue to watch over His people and His country, so that in the next 70 years and beyond, we know only peace and happiness. Thank you for welcoming me and thank you for being my Home.

Chag Haatzma'ut Sameach to everyone!

Goodbye to the City of Gold

I'm sitting here in my first Israeli apartment, surrounded by boxes and bags, waiting for my moving truck. This is the first time I've properly sat here all week. I've been collecting boxes, shlepping and folding, throwing (not enough) things out and taking full cars of stuff to the new place. And my apartment is doing this crazy magic trick where I move more and more things out and yet it never looks less full. 

About 1/10 of my never-ending box-stravaganza

I remember moving in here 3 years ago with around 5 big duffel bags. It is insane (and highly embarrassing) to realize how much I've accumulated these past years. But I had to turn this empty box into a home, and that I did.

I am moving to Tel Aviv today. I know it seems totally crazy, especially to you readers who don't know me or to those I haven't spoken to in a while. I have been the consummate Jerusalemite- heck, I even named my blog after my city! And I was certainly no fan of Tel Aviv in the past. But over the past years, that's changed. I know I don't blog as frequently as I did or should, but I'm a different Jordana than the one who made Aliyah. I'm still an observant Jew (that's a common question when people ask how I could possibly move to Tel Aviv.) I'm still a fervent, full- throated Zionist (and a right-winger, about to move to the city of the Left!) I'm still committed to staying in Israel for the long haul, with no plans to move back to the States (sorry, Mama.)

But this is where my road is taking me- a new city, new friends (keeping the old ones though, because I picked some good ones here in Jerusalem), a new job (pending!), a lovely new apartment with a new incredible roommate (after 3 years of living alone!) and oh yeah- the beach!

It's true- I do!

I leave behind the city I love most and the birthplace of a thousand stories. In my years visiting, Jerusalem was my anchor- it was where I landed and the place I knew best. I can get anywhere, find anything in this city. There is nowhere more diverse, beautiful, frustrating and real. I know that I will miss this city, its people and its stones every single day. I know that I will come back to visit, at first a lot, and then less. I know that when my Tel Avivi friends laugh about Jerusalem- its religiosity, its conflict, its otherness- I won't join in. I will be the defender of the Holy City in the White City- because if they only knew Jerusalem like I know Jerusalem, they'd fall in love too.

But it's time to go and start fresh now. It's time to feel the sand between my toes and sip cafe hafuch on Rothschild. It's time to stay out til 3 am and then hit up the huge kiddush in shul on Shabbat afternoon. It's time to hang out on rooftops and turn on the air conditioning! It's time for me to make the move. And find a new blog name too, huh?

Saying goodbye to the Cabana

If life is a book with many chapters, and I'm on to the next one. Keep reading to find out what's in store!

Xoxo,

Jordana (originally of) Jerusalem 

Hello from Jordana in Jerusalem (, Israel!)

Depending on whom you ask, what happened yesterday was either the greatest thing ever, the worst catastrophe since Hiroshima, or no big deal. Reactions range from "Trump is the messiah" to "This is going to cause untold danger for you" to "Okay, so what?" To the first person I say, "Relax, bro. Appreciate the good vibes, but he most certainly is not." To the second I say, "thanks for your sudden concern for my personal safety! Where was this concern during the last knife intifada?" And to the third response, I say, "Perk up, buddy! This is great!" And here are the top 5 reasons I think so:

Some think this is cheesy. Luckily, I love cheese.

1. Pragmatics- I was just talking to a pregnant friend who said, "Finally my baby will have 'Jerusalem, Israel' on his passport. Do you know how much I'm hurt every time some anti-Israel consulate official smirks when he hands me a passport that says 'Jerusalem, nowhere?' Happy that won't happen again!" And it's true! Although this move changes little legally, I know when my future babies are born (please Gd poo poo poo!) they will be from both the city and country they were born, at lease vis a vis their American passports!

2. Ripple Effect- Already the Czech Republic followed suit in recognizing our capital and Hungary and the Philippines want to move their embassies to Jerusalem. This recognition by the United States, like everything else they do, gives other counties the strength, cover and precedence to do the right thing. Can't wait for the day when we learn in the history books about that crazy time when Jerusalem wasn't considered the capital of Israel!

3. Legitimacy- Enough arguing with leftists over "status of Jerusalem." By nature, arguing with true leftists is a fruitless endeavor (don't think I'm blind to the fact that them arguing with me is almost as fruitless.) But it's always nice to have this moment, this little legal feather in my cap. And as much as they insist that Trump isn't their president (hi guys, Obama was mine and as you may remember, I wasn't a fan. And yes I know, you really hate Trump a lot) he is officially the president, he let the waiver lapse, and ultimately, the law passed in 1995 (under President Bill Clinton) will be implemented. In short, a law that was put on hold for over 20 years is now going to be implemented. So that's awesome.

4. Return to sanity- Jerusalem as capital is reality. When I was little, as a native New Yorker, it bothered me that small-town Albany, and not New York City was the capital of New York. It annoyed me that Washington DC, a city from no state, was the capital of the USA. I was 10.  But it didn't change the fact that Albany was the capital of NY and D.C. was the capital of America. So it's great for America to get on board with the facts. Wikipedia knows it. Siri knows it. Google knows it. Weather.com knows it. Now we all know it.

5. Shows us where we all really stand- Like I mentioned before, while I can appreciate people suddenly caring so much about my safety and well-being, you actually really don't. This whole situation is showing me that people believe we should give into bullies, kowtow to terrorists, and put the anger of our enemies before the fulfillment of our own people. A friend wrote on Facebook that the international condemnation of this move highlights the real racism. It is a "racism of low expectations." It is expecting, rightfully, that anything done that does not adhere to treating the Palestinians with kid gloves will be met with death and destruction. And somehow, that's okay with them. It's bizarre. 

I've been hearing a lot about this not being the "right time." I would like to know when that time will be. Can anyone reading this tell me a time in the near (or distant) future, when the enemies of Israel will be open to this move? At what magical future time will Jordan, Turkey and Abbas all say, "You know what? It's really time to recognize Jerusalem- call off the rage!" That time ain't coming, kids, so let's let this be the time.

And for you sweet souls who believe this outrageous move put an end to "any hope for a real peace agreement"? Please message me privately, I have a huge bridge I'd like to sell you! 

Okay, so I have to get back to my job, here in Jerusalem, Israel. If you need me after 6, I'll be at my apartment in Jerusalem, Israel. And if you want to send me a letter, please send it straight to Jordana in Jerusalem, ISRAEL. K, I'm done!

G-d bless you and G-d bless Jerusalem, Israel.

My Friend Made Aliyah

I couldn't think of a flashier title, because the one I chose is so full of emotion, I didn't want to mess with it. Last week, a close friend of mine names Ariella made Aliyah, and it was just about the most exciting thing I could imagine. As I celebrated 3 years here on July 1, I thought of the changes in my life that have happened in that time. Nothing huge. No wedding, no babies, not elected to Knesset (yet). And as of today, I'm still Jordana IN Jerusalem! So what, really, is the big deal about 3 years here? 

Everything.

At three years, I have watched my ulpan and Aliyah friends decide that Israel wasn't for them, and leave. I have seen more people come to Israel to try and make it their home too. I have seen holidays and festivals, birthday parties and smachot. I have been to concerts and funerals, I have seen babies born here, and witnessed pretty much every Jewish life cycle event after that. Three years in the scheme of a lifetime is short, but it is enough time to outgrow my Aliyah "honeymoon phase" and the sparkly title of "olah chadasha" (new immigrant.) 

Although I probably still am a new immigrant, most days I feel completely at home, in a way I never did living in New York for decades. I walk the streets here or traverse the country in the knowledge that these are my streets and this landscape is my own. I never feel like I'm visiting, like this is a stop on my journey. I consider myself unendingly blessed to feel that this was truly my destination.

So when I tell you that my friend making Aliyah was one of the most exciting things to happen, it's not hyperbole. Let's not kid ourselves, life is hard sometimes and moving to a whole new country and culture will be tough (we've talked about this here and here) but the only consistent bummer is being away from family and close friends. I pray regularly that my family will join me here, but it doesn't seem to be on the horizon. And although sporadic visits from family members and my yearly pilgrimage back to NYC are great, they will never be a substitute for living near family. So when a close friend like Ariella told me a few months back that she was going to make Aliyah, I was elated!

Not to get into the back-and-forth about how Aliyah should be EVERY Jew's ultimate goal (because I don't want to argue with you) but the idea that someone I love, in a similar social situation, with a similar background and the same attachment to her family was making Aliyah just like I did was extremely validating and exciting. She would ask logistical questions and always preface or end conversations with "sorry to bother" and I would respond "this is no bother! I wish I could have this conversation with every one of my friends! I'm so proud of you!"

Some Israelis riding the Jerusalem-Tel Aviv bus!

So when she finally made Aliyah last week, it hit me harder than I thought. It was my friend, taking a huge step and hopefully succeeding in building an amazing new life in Israel, of course. But it was also seeing someone else, realizing a 3,000 year long dream, leaving the diaspora to come home and showing everyone back in America that this is the goal we should ALL have, we should ALL strive to achieve. 

This is what 3 years has taught me. It has been HARD and it has been wonderful. It has been LONG and it has gone by in a blink. It has been LONELY at times, but I have made new soul connections. It has been DIFFERENT to what I expected and so much more. And it has showed me, an American from New York with a tiny bit of jappiness, that there is more to life than Target and Bagels and Co. and that a new goal in my life is to help my friends and family come home- to Israel.

And when that time comes, I will tell you everything you'll need to know. I'll stay on the phone with you as long as you want, answer all your questions. I'll calm you down and build you up. I'll sit with you in Misrad Hapnim and give you the name of a great manicurist/real estate agent/pediatrician/handyman. I will do whatever it takes to have you here with me and Ariella and the rest of your Jewish brothers and sisters. 

I promise!

69 MORE Reasons I love Israel!

Well, kids! It's been ages since the last time I blogged. If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me "When are you writing a new blog post?" I'd have... like 40 dollars. And most of that would be from my mom. But here I am, back in action, special for the best holiday of the year- Yom Ha'atzmaut! I can't say that nothing has happened in my life since September 2016, of course it has. But nothing that moved me to write a blog post, I guess. But now that I'm back here, maybe I'll stay! Aliyah starts with excitement and new and different and then a few years in, it's normal. It's your life. Sure, the bank is always an experience, but you've already been to the bank 100 times! So hopefully I can get back into making quality content on this blog- even if I have to just make stuff up- just kidding!

As yesterday was Israeli Independence Day and this year I actually spent it in Israel (unlike last year) I thought I'd give 69 more reasons I love this Land- one for every year since our Independence. Only, it's a bit hard to come up with so many new things! Not that Israel isn't truly magical every day, but it can be hard to quantify all the little things that make this so great. So I came up with a bunch and asked people (basically everyone) I knew to contribute. And here they are:

The 69 Reasons I love Israel Most

1) I love that I could watch the American presidential election go down from the sidelines, because if I lived in NYC I know I would have been completely immersed. And probably gone crazy.
2) I love that I've met my mayor six times.
3) Unlike my family in NYC, I love my mayor.

4) I loved watching everyone running the Jerusalem marathon in different colored t-shirts denoting worthy Jewish charities.
5) I love that delicious kosher options are exploding all over Israel-so many that visiting friends don't even know where to start and need to plan return trips to try them all.
6) I love all the amazing musical artists coming to perform here, knowing Israelis are among the best and loudest fans they have (see you soon, Aerosmith and Britney!)
7) I love that Israel wants to help the Jewish nation grow- providing IVF and fertility services for women who are struggling to conceive.
8) I still love the vibe of the shuk at night- a learning about my history and culture with the graffiti-ed murals painted on all the stalls. 
9) I love the National Israeli Baseball Team, who came out of nowhere to make the whole country so proud when they rocked the World Baseball Classic.

10) I still love Cofix- even though they raised their prices! (from 5 to 6 shekel!)

11) I love how Israel won 2 Olympic (bronze) medals and the country celebrated more than America and her 121 medals ever could.
12) I love how excited Israelis are about Ama're Stoudemire- they love basketball and America so no matter what he does here for his team, he's a hero.
13) I love that my quest for the ultimate Israeli breakfast continues another year (Adraba in TLV and Nocturno in Nachlaot are favorites for this year.)
14) I love the unity I'm seeing from our ally, the USA. I'm excited for the strengthened friendship Nikki Haley and David Friedman seem to be spearheading.
15) I loved seeing the desert bloom this winter as the South hosted the Darom Adom (Red South) festival.
16) I love how handy and well-equipped Israeli guys are- they can pitch a tent, start a fire, change a tire and make a mean poika (kind of a beach stew) without breaking a sweat.
17) I love spending Shabbat in Tel Aviv! I know, right? I have the privilege of having shabbat dinner with 150 young professionals of all stripes and then enjoying an incredible Shabbat day kiddush every time I go!
18) I know it might seem odd, but after many years, this year I went to my first Henna- twice! I love Hennas! I love the pageantry and the food and the music and the culture of my Sephardi brothers and sisters.

19) Speaking of smachot- I love Israeli weddings! Most of them may not be as lavish as the ones in the States, but they are so beautiful! The backdrops, the views, the mix of guests- every wedding holds the potential for the best night of the year.
20) I love photo magnets! Apparently this hasn't caught on in the US just yet (I think you do photo booths?) but it's super fun to get photo mementos of being all dressed up with your friends and blanketing your whole fridge in magnets.

21) I've said it before but I love wine festivals! And since last year, I've discovered that Herzeliya also has a white wine festival- so that's basically a dream come true!
22) I love the normalcy that comes with living here almost 3 years.  Life here now is normal, and I love knowing that I'm where I'm meant to be.
23) I love that I live in the center of Jewish world- it's so fun always bumping into someone you know from back in the day or getting to see friends and family from the old country when they make a visit here.
24) I love the left- wing Israelis. I know that seems odd coming from me, but defending my position and my ideology in a productive and meaningful way both opens my mind and strengthens my own beliefs.
25) I love that the rhythm of the country is based on Judaism. Weeks, months and years- Israel moves to a Jewish beat.
26) I love that losing your wallet often ends with its return and your faith in humanity rejuvenated.
27) I love how here in Israel, my third cousins are just "cousins." I feel just as close to them as I do my first cousins back in the States, because they have taken me into their family so fully and lovingly.
28) I love that Tinder in Israel is basically JSwipe and Jews are able to meet other Jews and start Jewish families and have Jewish babies. Makes me smile.
29) I love ending a fun night out with a 3 AM shwarma. 

30) I love that even the graffiti is Jewish- Na Nach Nachman Me'uman! 

31) I loved the way the country stops on Yom Hazikaron and Yom Hashoa. A lot has been said about it, but I agree. It's beautiful and important.
32) I love how different Yom Hazikaron is from Memorial Day in the States. I love that Israelis consider it one of the holiest days of their year and grieve so fully for their loved ones. It hits home for everyone here, and it's palpable.
33) I love Yom Ha'atzmaut! Don't get me wrong, July 4 is super fun but for me it doesn;t compare to Israeli Independence Day. And the celebrations are non-comparable too- Israelis GO WILD for their tiny country built on miracles! 
34) I love that you know the next Jewish holiday because of what is on sale at the supermarket (like donuts before Hanukkah, dried fruit before Tu b'Shvat, and cleaning supplies before Pesach!)
35) I love that little kids will tell you we must save water "for the Kinneret"
36) I love that this country actually utilizes the Hebrew (lunar) calendar! In the US, I probably couldn't even tell you the lunar month. Here, you can write the Hebrew date on your checks!

37) I love that Israelis are called Sabras- prickly on the outside but sweet on the inside is the perfect fruit-based analogy.
38) I love how I get to know different cultures, both Israeli and of my fellow olim. Anglos/English speakers are diverse, we're not just Americans! I now know lots about the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and South Africans (my fave!)
39) I love that most of my most important phone apps were developed in Israel- where would we be without Whatsapp, Moovit, and Waze? (Probably friendless, stranded and lost!)
40) I love when Birthright season begins- I pray now more than ever, Jews in the diaspora will see how incredible Israel is and spread the word.

41) I love Wine Wednesday. It's a charity initiative in Tel Aviv where young professionals get together (Usually on a gorgeous rooftop) to raise money for a worthy charity and drink wine with friends. It's the best way to give back! 

42) I love that when Israelis get married and move away, they're generally generally still nearby. Makes me a bit sad that I can't say the same (although my parents can always make aliyah and join me- keep praying, friends!)
43) I love when people say that I'm so lucky that I live here, and I get to tell them that they too can live here! And the government will even give them money to do so!

44) I love that Israel revived a dead language. What was for so many year only utilized in Torah study is now a thriving and ever-growing language representing the Jewish homeland.
45) I love that cab drivers will always have a guy for you. It is amazing how they can truly see how perfect Dudu and I would be for each other after 7 minutes in a cab.
46) I love the sign on the bus that says what day of the Omer it is.
47) I love having one day of chag. When I lived in the States, I swore the extra day made the chag extra beautiful. I lied. Make that one day beautiful.
48) I love that Aroma gets in on Jewish holidays like giving gelt on Chanuka and funny face wrapped chocolates on Purim.

49) I love the aggressive love Israelis show you once you finally establish that it is, in fact, coming from a place of love. It's like a country full of people who want what's best for you, whether or not you want the same.
50) I love that Shabbat dinner isn't just for the Orthodox here- that so many Israelis consider this beautiful custom an important tradition.

51) I love all the budget airlines that allow cheaper travel. I have flown to more countries in 2 years than all my life in NYC, and on extremely sketchy airline (one was actually called JetAirFly.com- I kid you not!)
52) I love that the buskers here play Jewish songs.
53) I love the siren before Shabbat, letting you know the country is about to slow way down.
54) I love the Bar mitzvah celebrations in the Old City- a cacophony of shofar blowing and bongo playing accompanying the 13 year old and his 50 closest family members and friends.
55) I love that Israelis call their friends "neshama" or "soul."
56) I love borrowing money from someone behind me on the bus and having them tell me to give it to tzedaka instead of paying them back.
57) I love that the municipality decorated the side streets of downtown Jerusalem all summer, making our beautiful city even more so!

58) I love the Israeli folk dancing in public places- Israeli senior citizens staying fit and young by cutting a rug on a Tuesday evening.
59) I still love the light rail- even when it gets held up for 17 minutes for suspicious objects, it's still a super quick and comfortable alternative to the bus and it has made Yafo street pedestrian and therefore an excellent place to stroll.
60) I love that I have the ability to connect with other Israelis anywhere in the world. Whether is was my pub-crawl guide in Amsterdam, my waiter in Paris or the owner of my bagel store in NYC, being Israeli gives you an instant connection to other people around the world. Israelis are a roaming people, but it's certainly special to find a piece of home so far away.

61) I love Jerusalem stone- its is strong, and beautiful and everything in this city is composed of it. Every time I see it in the States and hear how hard it was to get it and how expensive it was to import it, I think "My city is just covered in the stuff!"
62) I love the fact that the news has someone translating everything into sign language and so do Yom Ha'azmaut concerts! Watching someone "sing" hatikvah in sign language is so moving!63) I love that I don't have a car and I'm surviving just fine. I basically lives in my car in Queens and thought that this change would be horrible- it hasn't and I make it work. Maybe one day, though...
63) I love that the Israel haters bother me less- I live here, I see the good, I know the truth. I can see for myself how wonderful it is, I don't need their approval or acceptance. And I'll never get it any way, so why be upset about it?
64) I love how people say "Shabbat shalom", not "Have a good weekend." This may be due to the fact that essentially our whole weekend is shabbat, since Sundays are workdays, but I prefer to see the Jewish beauty in the concept.
65) I love how there are a bazillion native English speakers, but no one ever seems to ask us to proofread their signs or menus! I wait patiently for the day when someone posts a job opening seeking "translations proofreader." Then my aliyah will be truly perfect.
66) I love how this is a country full of Jewish mothers, which means that pretty much everywhere you go, someone in looking out for you and worrying about you. Makes ya feel good.
67) I love how we call Israel "Ha'aretz- the Land" and anywhere outside of it "Chutz La'aretz- outside the Land."
68) I love how when I had a bit of trouble coming up with so many things, everyone had a suggestion which made me fall even more deeply in love with this place.
69) I love how now that this is my home, I get to find new things to love about it every day!

Thank you for reading and feel free to add your own reasons! Looking forward to another fantastic year in Israel, awaiting the day when you join me and together we can celebrate Israel's 70th- next year in Jerusalem!

One Last Blow Before I Go

Even though the UN is entirely useless, run by dictators and human-rights abusers and holds no credibility with anyone with a functioning brain, it exists, it's in the newspapers and it shuts down all of New York City for a few weeks a year. It's an international joke that has gone on too long and whose only recognizable function at this point is to pass umpteen resolutions demonizing the Jews. Oops, I mean Israel.

If you don't care about Israel, or it's just not on your radar (but then, how did you get to this blog? I digress) the UN is a benign and impressive building with a bunch of colorfully dressed dignitaries who have cars they can park anywhere. They function away from your eyes, don't accomplish much and really don't affect your life in any way. You might visit the building on a class trip or read an article mentioning that they are having their yearly sessions that week. But if you are Israeli or a supporter of Israel, you know that they do have one other very important function. They are there to ruin the international reputation of your homeland. They convene once a year to collectively and decisively condemn every aspect of your beautiful, democratic country- repeatedly. Every. Single. Year.
But why Israel? You might ask. If you are one of Israel's many detractors you may think "sure, cite Israel along with Saudi Arabia, Syria, Sudan and all those other human rights abusers." The problem with that thinking is that you don't hate Jews and Israel enough! If you were truly like the members of the UN, you would realize that Israel is the perfect scapegoat for all the world's problems. You would appreciate the vile dictators and disgusting countries that make up the human rights councils and security councils and education councils, whose sole purpose is to come up with new and exciting ways to call Israel "the worst." These countries calling Israel "the worst," it should be noted, are largely Arab or Arab-majority, human-rights abusing, non-western, oppressive, violent and anti-Semitic regimes who, through oil money and intimidation, have come to run this farce of an organization.


This is one year alone!

Perhaps the UN started with the best of intentions, but it has devolved into an anti-Semitic cesspool where the patients are running the asylum (I'm really fired up, forgive me.) So why do I even care what happens there, you might ask. Generally, I don't. Usually, I can laugh at the rantings of Arab dictators at the plenum, and roll my eyes at the unending stream of condemnations of Israel, blaming us for everything from environmental ills (Israel is one of the greenest countries on earth) to women's rights abuses (Israel is the only liberal democracy in the entire Middle East.) Plus, Israel generally has the support of the western world (specifically the US) at the UN so it curbs any real damage. Except for when things like what happened yesterday occur. Except when things like my former president (I still hold American citizenship but take pride in this man no longer being my head of state) Barack Obama decided to aim one last parting shot at the country for which he holds such disdain. 

"Israel must recognize that it cannot permanently occupy and settle Palestinian land."

In his final address to the UN and the world, as he has done for the last 8 years, he blamed Israel for the lack of peace while cushioning it with a plea for Palestinians to stop inciting their citizens to murder Jews, so as not to completely upset his liberal Jewish fan base. In that one sentence, he disregarded all offers for peace short of national suicide and gave Israel's detractors, enemies and terrorizers another weapon in their arsenal. "See?" Israel's enemies say "Even the president of your best friend America, even the country with the most Jews outside Israel, even the most powerful democracy on earth thinks you are occupiers, colonizers, thieves." They will continue to call our legitimacy into question, to ignore our indigenous rights, and to extend their fallacious narrative but now with a one-sentence soundbite from the leader of the free world. Just Google his speech and "Israel" and that quote is in the sub headline of every article. Not the part about Palestinian incitement. Not the part about the Palestinians needing to recognize the legitimacy of Israel. He said those things, but you'll have to read the whole article to find them, and most probably won't. 

The reverberations are not hard to predict. The BDS movement will place this statement on their literature and placards. The UN will continue to do what they do, but without the conscience of the pesky US to tell them what they're doing is wrong, and the entire world will become a more dangerous place for the Jews. Because, as you should know by now, Israel is a proxy for the Jews. Even if you are a Jew that hates Israel (and, by the way, if you are- yuck) that man in Ireland, Africa, Abu Dhabi hears "Jew" and thinks "Israel" and vice versa. So Obama telling the world that Jews in Israel are permanently occupying Palestinian land, when actually they are living in their native homeland (like they have for 3,000 years) isn't just wrong- it's dangerous. It is not surprising, given Obama's clear disgust for Israel (if you are shaking your head in disagreement, please let's revisit this topic in 20 years when he is hawking anti-Israel diatribes like a modern-day Jimmy Carter.)

As you know, I always like to leave on a hopeful note, so let me try and turn this around. Obama will be leaving office in around 120 days. For me, that's wonderful. But his legacy (which my liberal friends love and I despise) remains. And he is leaving the country in the hands of either Hillary (more of the same, especially when it comes to Israel, sadly) or Trump (the definition of the phrase "Oy vey") so I can't even look forward to his exit the way I planned! So I will say this: Israel was here before the UN and will be here long after. The children of Israel have suffered pogroms and libels, expulsions and genocide- they will continue to survive. And because we as a nation have a strong, just and beautiful country of our own, we will also thrive. Because, as you know, Am Yisrael Chai.