One Last Blow Before I Go

Even though the UN is entirely useless, run by dictators and human-rights abusers and holds no credibility with anyone with a functioning brain, it exists, it's in the newspapers and it shuts down all of New York City for a few weeks a year. It's an international joke that has gone on too long and whose only recognizable function at this point is to pass umpteen resolutions demonizing the Jews. Oops, I mean Israel.

If you don't care about Israel, or it's just not on your radar (but then, how did you get to this blog? I digress) the UN is a benign and impressive building with a bunch of colorfully dressed dignitaries who have cars they can park anywhere. They function away from your eyes, don't accomplish much and really don't affect your life in any way. You might visit the building on a class trip or read an article mentioning that they are having their yearly sessions that week. But if you are Israeli or a supporter of Israel, you know that they do have one other very important function. They are there to ruin the international reputation of your homeland. They convene once a year to collectively and decisively condemn every aspect of your beautiful, democratic country- repeatedly. Every. Single. Year.
But why Israel? You might ask. If you are one of Israel's many detractors you may think "sure, cite Israel along with Saudi Arabia, Syria, Sudan and all those other human rights abusers." The problem with that thinking is that you don't hate Jews and Israel enough! If you were truly like the members of the UN, you would realize that Israel is the perfect scapegoat for all the world's problems. You would appreciate the vile dictators and disgusting countries that make up the human rights councils and security councils and education councils, whose sole purpose is to come up with new and exciting ways to call Israel "the worst." These countries calling Israel "the worst," it should be noted, are largely Arab or Arab-majority, human-rights abusing, non-western, oppressive, violent and anti-Semitic regimes who, through oil money and intimidation, have come to run this farce of an organization.


This is one year alone!

Perhaps the UN started with the best of intentions, but it has devolved into an anti-Semitic cesspool where the patients are running the asylum (I'm really fired up, forgive me.) So why do I even care what happens there, you might ask. Generally, I don't. Usually, I can laugh at the rantings of Arab dictators at the plenum, and roll my eyes at the unending stream of condemnations of Israel, blaming us for everything from environmental ills (Israel is one of the greenest countries on earth) to women's rights abuses (Israel is the only liberal democracy in the entire Middle East.) Plus, Israel generally has the support of the western world (specifically the US) at the UN so it curbs any real damage. Except for when things like what happened yesterday occur. Except when things like my former president (I still hold American citizenship but take pride in this man no longer being my head of state) Barack Obama decided to aim one last parting shot at the country for which he holds such disdain. 

"Israel must recognize that it cannot permanently occupy and settle Palestinian land."

In his final address to the UN and the world, as he has done for the last 8 years, he blamed Israel for the lack of peace while cushioning it with a plea for Palestinians to stop inciting their citizens to murder Jews, so as not to completely upset his liberal Jewish fan base. In that one sentence, he disregarded all offers for peace short of national suicide and gave Israel's detractors, enemies and terrorizers another weapon in their arsenal. "See?" Israel's enemies say "Even the president of your best friend America, even the country with the most Jews outside Israel, even the most powerful democracy on earth thinks you are occupiers, colonizers, thieves." They will continue to call our legitimacy into question, to ignore our indigenous rights, and to extend their fallacious narrative but now with a one-sentence soundbite from the leader of the free world. Just Google his speech and "Israel" and that quote is in the sub headline of every article. Not the part about Palestinian incitement. Not the part about the Palestinians needing to recognize the legitimacy of Israel. He said those things, but you'll have to read the whole article to find them, and most probably won't. 

The reverberations are not hard to predict. The BDS movement will place this statement on their literature and placards. The UN will continue to do what they do, but without the conscience of the pesky US to tell them what they're doing is wrong, and the entire world will become a more dangerous place for the Jews. Because, as you should know by now, Israel is a proxy for the Jews. Even if you are a Jew that hates Israel (and, by the way, if you are- yuck) that man in Ireland, Africa, Abu Dhabi hears "Jew" and thinks "Israel" and vice versa. So Obama telling the world that Jews in Israel are permanently occupying Palestinian land, when actually they are living in their native homeland (like they have for 3,000 years) isn't just wrong- it's dangerous. It is not surprising, given Obama's clear disgust for Israel (if you are shaking your head in disagreement, please let's revisit this topic in 20 years when he is hawking anti-Israel diatribes like a modern-day Jimmy Carter.)

As you know, I always like to leave on a hopeful note, so let me try and turn this around. Obama will be leaving office in around 120 days. For me, that's wonderful. But his legacy (which my liberal friends love and I despise) remains. And he is leaving the country in the hands of either Hillary (more of the same, especially when it comes to Israel, sadly) or Trump (the definition of the phrase "Oy vey") so I can't even look forward to his exit the way I planned! So I will say this: Israel was here before the UN and will be here long after. The children of Israel have suffered pogroms and libels, expulsions and genocide- they will continue to survive. And because we as a nation have a strong, just and beautiful country of our own, we will also thrive. Because, as you know, Am Yisrael Chai.

Rock the Vote (Part 2)

         Sorry I left you hanging on that last post. I know you're all breathlessly wondering how the election event went, so get settled in, because it was an interesting night! To begin, the event was designed for young olim, and was to be conducted in English. Each of the 7 major parties would send one representative to basically sell their party's platform, answer our questions and essentially put a face to their contingent. The event was held in a hip Tel Aviv bar and the room was divided into tables, so as to create more intimate environments with which to connect with the candidates. Every fifteen minutes, the candidates would move on to the next table, kind of like a "speed-date your politicians" event. My table was made up of some liberals, some left-wingers, some smolanim and some progressives. What I'm saying is- everyone was a Leftist. If you've been keeping up with this blog, I am not a Leftist. But I was prepared for this eventuality, so I brought one of my favorite fellow right-wing olim, Ilan, as a partner-in-crime for the night (no crimes were actually committed, not to worry.) Ilan and I agree on almost all issues, so it was good to know that when I asked a question where every person disagreed with my point of view, someone had my back. And it was fun to make fun of the outlandish Leftist stuff people said with a fellow "crazy right-winger."

Being super focused on Likud's presentation

For purposes of easy reading, I'll give you a synopsis of each party's representative:
         What was once Labor is now some "unity party" called "the Zionist Union." Essentially, neither of the 2 biggest left-wing parties could get enough seats, so they have formed the Zionist Union party to pool all their support, in hopes of taking the prime ministership. I will reiterate, I think the name of this party is unintentionally hilarious, as I do not see how fundamentally changing the Jewish character of Israel and giving away land to Arabs piece by piece has anything to do with Zionism, but I digress. The woman chosen to speak was a Russian immigrant who seemed, quite frankly, like she had better places to be. I asked her why someone like me (ie- a crazy right-winger) would be interested in her party in any way. I have to hand it to her- she valiantly gave me reasons (unconvincing, but still) why the Zionist Union would work for me, too. Oh, and also- Bibi is the worst. This became a running theme by every single party (except Likud, obviously, and Bayit Yehudi) so for purposes of summation: everyone hates Bibi (not me, of course- just everyone else.)
             Next came Yisrael Beiteinu who had to spend most of their time defending themselves from reports of scandal and their party leader, Avigdor Lieberman. I personally don't mind his fiery brand of nationalism, but you know who does? Tel Avivians. They were not on "Team Yisrael Beiteinu" and it showed. YB also sent 2 representatives- one of whom apparently had all the answers and struggled with English, and another who spoke as beautifully as the Prince of England, but had to defer to the Israeli for all the answers. It was kind of a cumbersome presentation, but still informative. 
            Likud sent their #32 delegate to represent them. Weird choice, huh? Even in the absolute best-case scenario, this guy isn't MK-bound. So why was he the rep, you may ask? I don't know for sure, but he is Likud's only openly gay candidate. His goal is to make Likud more gay-friendly and the LGBT community more Likud-friendly. Worthy goals all, but let's face it- Likud knows their audience. A bunch of young people from Tel Aviv will obviously respond best to this specific representative, especially considering their almost visceral hatred of Bibi. It was a good move. I thought he spoke well, except at one point he said he was atheist and in the next breath said the Jewish claim to this land was biblical and Torah- based. It may make sense to more enlightened people, but to a G-d- believing, Torah-thumper like myself, I didn't how those 2 ideas worked together in his brain.
          Then came the two "centrist" parties, Yesh Atid and Kulanu. I had forgotten all about Yesh Atid, but was interested in what they had to say because I have right-wing friends who voted for them, based on their economic plans. If I can paraphrase their platform "The Left is wrong and the Right is more wrong so vote for us!" They didn't explain how they were right, but I liked that angle. Politicians in the US always come to the middle during elections, and Yesh Atid was owning that middle ground. ("And you get a car! And you get a car! Everyone gets a car!") Over in Kulanu, they sent a real dynamo. Handsome and boisterous, he was like an edition of Us Weekly; super fun to read, with no substance. One hilarious exchange was when he called out all the other parties for "not being accountable" for their mistakes. He promised that if elected, Kulanu would be accountable for all they do. I asked how he could know that for sure, if this was a brand-new party. He told me Kahlon (the party leader), had been in Knesset for a while so I asked what Kahlon had ever done wrong for which he took accountability. This very gregarious man listened, looked at me seriously, and answered an entirely different question altogether. It was humorous for sure, but I did hope for an actual answer. 
          When Bayit Yehudi came to sit down, I was pretty excited. This was the party I wanted to support, and I also wanted to be a friendly face at a table full of very unfriendly, Bayit Yehudi detractors. And then- disaster! The representative had a grasp of English about as good as my grasp of Hebrew. That is to say, he can speak English, he can understand it and he can lightly converse in it. But can he represent his party platform to a group of aggressive olim? Nope. And it was a real shame, too. What could have been a great opportunity to endear Bayit Yehudi to a group of Left-wing olim in an intimate setting was an opportunity wasted. Bummer.
          I saved the Meretz representative for last, because the whole experience was an exercise in absurdity. Meretz bills themselves as the "progressive" party, more to the left of Labor/Zionist Union. With just a quick perusal of their literature I could see, they felt the exact opposite of me on every single possible topic. It was almost humorous, if you can forget about the fact that they actually get elected to some seats in every election. The representative was a nice looking, well-dressed man who confessed to us that, in his youth, he had been a Likud member (gasp!) He followed that up with "Well, we all make mistakes and I switched to Meretz!" which got an appreciative laugh from those assembled. I quickly remarked, "So you also think switching to Meretz was a mistake?" which received an even larger laugh! Two points for the crazy right-wingers! As he continued, he used expressions like "We support a redistribution of wealth." I nearly spit out my Goldstar. In the US, that phrase is often inferred and never uttered. It's political suicide, much as some politicians agree with it in principal. I asked Mr. Meretz if he meant what he just said and he responded "yes, of course." Mind you, this man is a lawyer who probably makes more than 95% of Israelis, and I somewhat tend to doubt that he'd be willing to give away half his earnings to the poor in Ashkelon, but who knows? The whole presentation was one pro-socialism, anti-religion, progressive proposal after another and my mouth was agape the entire time. Still, it was super- interesting to actually hear about, because when on earth will I come this close to a Meretz representative again in my lifetime?
              During the evening's presentation, there was a little clique sitting across from me, an Australian couple and their newly-acquired friend from New York. (Turns out, our common past as New Yorkers was our only discernible link). They were as Left-wing as I am Right-wing, except they were disgusted that I had the nerve to be there, espousing my views. When I would try to clarify or follow up a question, they would shush me. I kid you not, actually shush me! And when they would ask a question, it was usually a 4-pronged question with multiple follow-ups. To every candidate. When a Right- wing candidate would say something they disagreed with, they would actually snicker in his face, as if this silly person had no right to that opinion. It was a lot to take, to the point where after the 3rd "shush" I said "Please stop shushing me. It may be hard to hear, but you aren't the only people here that matter." They looked shocked, then rolled their eyes at one another, and that, kids, is how fourth-graders do Israeli politics!
              This event didn't exactly open my eyes or answer any burning questions, but it did give me some more insight into the political landscape here (and drive home the fact that Tel Aviv and I will forever have a complicated relationship). It was cool to have face-time with actual candidates- I've never met candidates back in Queens or had the chance to ask them questions. Mostly, it spurred me on to stay active in the election process, keep reading and searching, and hopefully to arrive at the best possible choice for me as an Israeli. Viva Democracy!