One Last Blow Before I Go

Even though the UN is entirely useless, run by dictators and human-rights abusers and holds no credibility with anyone with a functioning brain, it exists, it's in the newspapers and it shuts down all of New York City for a few weeks a year. It's an international joke that has gone on too long and whose only recognizable function at this point is to pass umpteen resolutions demonizing the Jews. Oops, I mean Israel.

If you don't care about Israel, or it's just not on your radar (but then, how did you get to this blog? I digress) the UN is a benign and impressive building with a bunch of colorfully dressed dignitaries who have cars they can park anywhere. They function away from your eyes, don't accomplish much and really don't affect your life in any way. You might visit the building on a class trip or read an article mentioning that they are having their yearly sessions that week. But if you are Israeli or a supporter of Israel, you know that they do have one other very important function. They are there to ruin the international reputation of your homeland. They convene once a year to collectively and decisively condemn every aspect of your beautiful, democratic country- repeatedly. Every. Single. Year.
But why Israel? You might ask. If you are one of Israel's many detractors you may think "sure, cite Israel along with Saudi Arabia, Syria, Sudan and all those other human rights abusers." The problem with that thinking is that you don't hate Jews and Israel enough! If you were truly like the members of the UN, you would realize that Israel is the perfect scapegoat for all the world's problems. You would appreciate the vile dictators and disgusting countries that make up the human rights councils and security councils and education councils, whose sole purpose is to come up with new and exciting ways to call Israel "the worst." These countries calling Israel "the worst," it should be noted, are largely Arab or Arab-majority, human-rights abusing, non-western, oppressive, violent and anti-Semitic regimes who, through oil money and intimidation, have come to run this farce of an organization.


This is one year alone!

Perhaps the UN started with the best of intentions, but it has devolved into an anti-Semitic cesspool where the patients are running the asylum (I'm really fired up, forgive me.) So why do I even care what happens there, you might ask. Generally, I don't. Usually, I can laugh at the rantings of Arab dictators at the plenum, and roll my eyes at the unending stream of condemnations of Israel, blaming us for everything from environmental ills (Israel is one of the greenest countries on earth) to women's rights abuses (Israel is the only liberal democracy in the entire Middle East.) Plus, Israel generally has the support of the western world (specifically the US) at the UN so it curbs any real damage. Except for when things like what happened yesterday occur. Except when things like my former president (I still hold American citizenship but take pride in this man no longer being my head of state) Barack Obama decided to aim one last parting shot at the country for which he holds such disdain. 

"Israel must recognize that it cannot permanently occupy and settle Palestinian land."

In his final address to the UN and the world, as he has done for the last 8 years, he blamed Israel for the lack of peace while cushioning it with a plea for Palestinians to stop inciting their citizens to murder Jews, so as not to completely upset his liberal Jewish fan base. In that one sentence, he disregarded all offers for peace short of national suicide and gave Israel's detractors, enemies and terrorizers another weapon in their arsenal. "See?" Israel's enemies say "Even the president of your best friend America, even the country with the most Jews outside Israel, even the most powerful democracy on earth thinks you are occupiers, colonizers, thieves." They will continue to call our legitimacy into question, to ignore our indigenous rights, and to extend their fallacious narrative but now with a one-sentence soundbite from the leader of the free world. Just Google his speech and "Israel" and that quote is in the sub headline of every article. Not the part about Palestinian incitement. Not the part about the Palestinians needing to recognize the legitimacy of Israel. He said those things, but you'll have to read the whole article to find them, and most probably won't. 

The reverberations are not hard to predict. The BDS movement will place this statement on their literature and placards. The UN will continue to do what they do, but without the conscience of the pesky US to tell them what they're doing is wrong, and the entire world will become a more dangerous place for the Jews. Because, as you should know by now, Israel is a proxy for the Jews. Even if you are a Jew that hates Israel (and, by the way, if you are- yuck) that man in Ireland, Africa, Abu Dhabi hears "Jew" and thinks "Israel" and vice versa. So Obama telling the world that Jews in Israel are permanently occupying Palestinian land, when actually they are living in their native homeland (like they have for 3,000 years) isn't just wrong- it's dangerous. It is not surprising, given Obama's clear disgust for Israel (if you are shaking your head in disagreement, please let's revisit this topic in 20 years when he is hawking anti-Israel diatribes like a modern-day Jimmy Carter.)

As you know, I always like to leave on a hopeful note, so let me try and turn this around. Obama will be leaving office in around 120 days. For me, that's wonderful. But his legacy (which my liberal friends love and I despise) remains. And he is leaving the country in the hands of either Hillary (more of the same, especially when it comes to Israel, sadly) or Trump (the definition of the phrase "Oy vey") so I can't even look forward to his exit the way I planned! So I will say this: Israel was here before the UN and will be here long after. The children of Israel have suffered pogroms and libels, expulsions and genocide- they will continue to survive. And because we as a nation have a strong, just and beautiful country of our own, we will also thrive. Because, as you know, Am Yisrael Chai.

The Sweetest Bronze

         Happy Olympics everyone! As a sports enthusiast (most notably a lifelong Yankee fan, played first base in synagogue little league and former Rosh Sport one month one summer at Camp Moshava, Wild Rose) I am super excited about the Olympics! Once every four years, (don't give me that "Winter Olympics" nonsense- if it's not figure skating or my bizarre addiction to curling, I'm not that interested) you can put politics and regional squabbles aside, and the whole country rallies around "their team." And for my whole life, that was Team USA. This is the first year, while tangentially following and rooting for the Americans, I am actively cheering for a new country- Team Israel!

It says MY country!!!

          Rooting for Team Israel after being an American fan for many years is like rooting for the underdog of all underdogs, after rooting for the 10-time world champions your whole life. There is an edge to it, an urgency, that I've never felt. When you root for Team USA, you root for the top of the medal count, when you root for Team Israel, you root for a medal. See, Team Israel has won single-digit medals in its history. We have yet to win more than 10 medals! But does that dampen my excitement? No way!
          This year, Team Israel sent its largest-ever delegation- 47 Olympians! Team USA has 554, and I'm no mathematician, but that seems to give Team Israel a much smaller opportunity to bring one home. We also compete in competitions I would have never thought to follow. Long gone are the days of screaming for the Dream Team in basketball and the Fab 5 in women's gymnastics. Now I'm all about rhythmic gymnastics, windsurfing and judo! Did I have to google "what is judo?" Maybe. But now that I know, I'm all in! 
           The big story is how the Arab world is treating Israeli Olympians. It is a big story to people who are not me, because I am a right-wing extremist who doesn't feign outrage when the Arab world insults and derides Jews. But that's just me. Am I disgusted that Lebanese athletes tried to block Israelis from boarding a bus back from training? Of course! Am I surprised? Nope. Am I horrified that a Saudi judo athlete has apparently taken herself out of competition in order to avoid an Israeli competitor? Quite the contrary! If they want to show the world that they don't care about fulfilling lifelong dreams all in the name of bigotry- go for it! And a forfeit is a win for the Israelis, so let 'em all forfeit, for all I care! That's one step closer to the gold!
            This is not to say I'm not super- proud of Team USA. They are killing it out there, and I am as obsessed with my Jewish-gymnast sister Aly Raisman as can be! I love that they are leading the world, bringing a politically- fractured country together for just a little bit, and representing my second-favorite country so beautifully.
                 But for now, I cheer on my blue-and-white clad countrymen, follow the local news with anticipation and take intense pride in the newest Israeli medalist, Yarden Gerbi (name twins!) I put in an extra little prayer for another medal or 2 (hey, can't hurt) and yes, check out Team USA on top of the medal count with a flutter of pride. Because you can cheer on your two countries, you know. Just as long as if they ever compete head-to-head, you take a stand. And my stand will always be Yalla Yisrael! 

An Open Letter to Simone Zimmerman

Simone-

         Normally, I wouldn't care to write this. I would ignore you like I do the other members of the small, but rabid and vicious, young, self-hating, American Jewish community who pop up here and there to scream and yell and wear keffiyehs and write patronizing and ignorant articles and tweet nonsense that no one notices, but you are different. You have been thrust onto the national stage as a "director of Jewish outreach" for the Bernie Sanders campaign, and for anyone who knows what you stand for, that should read like a The Onion headline. Normally, I try and keep infighting in the Jewish community to a minimum, L-rd knows we see a lot of it. But you are a rotten apple, with the ability to ruin the whole bushel, and you must be called out. You will be known to large swaths of the American population as a "Jewish representative," and that fact makes my stomach turn. What you are saying is not new, not innovative, nor progressive or cool. You are not a great Jew because you call other Jews "yids" or have bagel and schmears on Sundays. You are not open-minded because you went to Berkeley, a bastion of anti-Semitic hatred in the bleak and anti- Semitic UC system. You are somewhat more notable because of the extents to which you have gone to try and destroy Israel, I will give you that. You joined (and led!) blatantly anti-Israel groups, you wrote anti-Israel articles, heck! You even opposed university legislation trying to curb campus anti-Semitism! So when I say you are similar to other self-hating, liberal Americans of Jewish lineage, I don't mean to demean your efforts- you are certainly at the forefront of this vile movement. You must be, or I don't believe Mr. Sanders would have chosen you for your current position.

      But this letter is going to focus on the Facebook message that is now making the rounds (I've inserted it below for whomever reads this and is unfamiliar) on the Internet- and I've included the un-censored version you posted first, not the sanitized version you edited once you realized that the original version might come across as, well, insane. Kudos, by the way, for not letting your political aspirations keep you from voicing your truth. Before you changed your truth to suit your political aspirations.

     We can start with your beautiful summary of my several-times democratically elected Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu. Aside from being a war hero, a scholar, a head of state and someone you've never met in your life, you use the most nasty language to discuss the leader of an ally of the United States. The biggest ally in the Middle East, incidentally. It may have missed my attention, but would you please direct me to any similar posts calling out Bashar Assad, who is implementing genocide on the Syrian people? Did you write a similar rant about Khaled Mashaal, Mahmoud Abbas, Hassan Nasrallah, Ahmedenijad, Khameini- you know, leaders who are promising the death and destruction of your fellow Jews, both in Israel and abroad? I would love to see the tweets and Facebook posts you wrote railing against the incitement of Palestinian leadership that has caused innocents to be stabbed and run over and shot with abandon here in Israel these past 5 months. Oh, you haven't? Only Bibi is singled out and told "f--- you"? Nice.

      You talk of Bibi's fear mongering. Fair play, coming from some American Jew ensconced in Berkeley or NYC (where I'm from, actually!) Tell me, would you have the gall to say that to my face as I sat in my building's bomb shelter, praying for my life, 4 days after I moved to Israel and made it my home. Would you say Bibi is a fear-monger to the thousands of children from Sderot, Ashkelon and Ashdod who live with PTSD at age 5 because they have lived under the wail of a siren from incoming rockets their whole lives? You know, ever since Israel gave away Gaza in hopes of peace, only to watch their greenhouses turned into rocket launchpads and tunnel-building sites for Hamas? Would you like to go to Sderot and tell those people that Bibi is an ultra-nationalist, blood-lusting, fear-monger who only wants war? I dare you.

        Let's move on to him "sanctioning the murder of over 2,000 people" in a "brutal military occupation." I'm going to go out on a limb and say you probably are not a big fan of the IDF. You probably love "Breaking the Silence" and whatever anti-Israel former soldiers who decide to put the love of leftist American Jews, before loyalty to their families and country. I am nothing like you. I love the IDF, the most moral army in the world. Aside from the fact that many past and present members are family and friends of mine, I know who and what they are and I am so proud to have them to defend me. Let me tell you who they are. They are generally 18-21 years old men and women, who have been drafted and asked to give up a chunk of their young lives to protect their family and friends. They are essentially kids who realize that to live in a Jewish homeland, one needs to make sacrifices. Some of them will die. That is a tragedy. I mourn for each life lost like I would my own family member. And I know that if there was no Arab threat to Israel, none of them would ever be killed. They exist because we are under constant threat in Israel and have been since before 1967, before 1948 and before 1929. Either you are entirely ignorant of history, or you are willfully ignoring it. This isn't about Gaza, or 2-states, or even our one state. It's about our existence, in Israel, in America, on this earth. Yours and mine, actually, as we are both (inexplicably) part of the same Jewish people. I'm just not naive enough to think hugs, kisses and capitulation will change reality.

       About the Iran deal. How dare you gamble with my country, my people and my life because you think Obama knows better than Bibi about what's best for Israel. Let's say you're right (you're not). Why is Bibi wrong for taking Iran at their word that they want to destroy Israel. It's a matter of public record, in video and print. They want Israel off the map, they will have the tools to do it, an infusion of US cash and they are run by radical mullahs. Why shouldn't Bibi do everything possible to protect his country? Why should you, some know-nothing leftist, sitting safely in hipster Brooklyn think you know anything more that a certifiable genius with mounds of intelligence in front of him? Who ARE You?

      I will end with how you signed off. Unfortunately, you are a leftist American Jew who cares more about literally everything than Israel and your people. It is evident from everything I've read about you (considered me obsessed with you, but not in a good way). You speak for a loud, arrogant, willfully ignorant group of disillusioned young Jews who are regrettably growing in ranks. You are so dangerous to American and world Jewry, you can't even imagine. I do hope you see the error of your ways, as you call yourself "a thinking person "although I know you won't. I see you rising in the self- hating ranks in your future career- I'm relatively certain there's a lot of money and prestige in selling out Israel at every turn.

      But please know that as loud and vocal as you will be in your life, calling for boycotts, giving anti-Semites ammunition against American Jews and shaming our nation; I will be here on the other side, defending Israel, our people and our right to exist, just as strongly and with the might of right on my side.

Hey girl hey!

Wishing you a complete change of heart,

Jordana Brown
Jerusalem, Israel

It is Better to be Feared Than Loved

          "...if you can't be both." Is Machiavelli correct here? Take yourself as an example- would you prefer to be feared by someone, if them loving you was off the table? Now substitute yourself with Israel and substitute "respected" for "feared." I've been thinking about this for a few months now (or maybe even years, if I'm being honest) and I wonder "Isn't it better for Israel to be respected for our strength if we know the world won't ever love us for our goodness?"

         Well, depends who you ask. The Left of Israel would answer "no." It is better to keep trying, keep giving, keep imploring and keep hope alive that "killing them with kindness" will finally bear fruit. Yes, boycott the "settlements"! Yes, re-open talks with Abbas! Yes, keep begging the US and Europe to intervene and stop our fascistic government from ruining our standing in their world's eyes. On the extreme Left, there was even a representative from Peace Now (emphasis on the absurdity of their nomenclature added) who blamed a victim of terrorism for daring to avoid more terrorism by killing his attacker! While this is an extreme case and most of the Israeli Left no doubt thinks this Peace Now loon is crazy too, there is definitely a vocal camp who would much rather Israel keep fighting for the world's love than seek the world's respect through strength. They truly believe that if the world only saw our humanitarian aid, our unparalleled commitment to democracy, our liberalism, our medical and technological contributions, the incredible lengths we would go to secure peace- we will surely earn the love. Can you guess where I stand?

          Correct! I see this charm offensive as great, but ultimately doomed to fail. As an analogy- a guy is in love with a girl who disdains but tolerates his existence. So he compliments her, writes her love notes, buys her presents- full-court charm offensive. Does she fall for him? Possibly. But more likely, she takes all that he gives her and still can't stand him. If perhaps she is neutral toward this Romeo, he has a shot. But I don't see the world as neutral toward Israel. I see a world where the Middle East abhors us, Europe can't stand us and North America is steadily becoming more hostile and less patient with "the cause of instability in the Middle East." (Who, me?) Call me a pessimist (go ahead, most people do) but I see myself as a realist and a true believer in the cyclical nature of history. To follow me on this thought process, we need to use "Israel" and "Jews" interchangeably. Some of you won't want to. You will hold fast to the delusion that we are 2 separate entities and if only Israel didn't exist we Jews would all be frolicking in the world's warm embrace. To this, I turn your attention to Sweden, France, Uruguay, etc, etc, etc where Jews are being targeted for wearing Yarmulkes, not Israeli flags. So if you can suspend your belief that it's just an Israel thing, we can continue.

           Throughout Jewish history, Jews have been hated. We are too rich and too poor. We hold ourselves separate and we assimilate. We are too smart and too ignorant. We control the media and the banks, we caused 9/11 (because no Jews were killed that day) and we started ISIS. We brought the Black Plague to Europe and we caused Germany's financial problems at the turn of the 20th century. We have become occupiers and we are the new Nazis. We have gone from the victims of a genocide to the progenitors of a new one. We are everything that is wrong in this world.

            This might have been really hard for you to read, it made me a bit ill to write it. But this is who have been seen as a nation, and anti-Semitism is an irrational hatred that has no cause, it just is and always has been. This kind of hatred will never result in the world's love. This type of hatred causes Jews killed in terrorism in Israel to be greeted with headlines like "3 Palestinians killed by IDF Forces." It causes hummus to come with stickers that say "This company participates in apartheid." It causes Jews to be disinvited from international sporting events, and rallies with cries of "Back to the ovens!" and countless swastikas to be scrawled on Jewish homes from Montreal to NYC to Antwerp. This is not a world that is ever going to love us, no matter what we do.

            So what can we work towards? Respect. Let's look to the times when Jews, (and by extension Israel) were most respected. It was after our victory in the 6- Day War, when we showed the world we could defend our country defensively from essentially the rest of the Middle East. It was when the Maccabis won a decisive victory of the small against the large and the weak against the strong. It was after the Warsaw ghetto uprising and the partisans in the forest. It was when the Jews of Persia defended themselves against certain annihilation in the story of Purim (which is coming up soon!) It is in all the stories of heroism, when Jews fight back against their aggressors (with selfie sticks, guitars, or the terrorist's own knife!) It is when Israel worries about the safety of it's citizens and Jews around the world, without worrying so much about the world's love. It's when we show our strength, our might and our fortitude- when we refuse to be victims.

           So me? I will continue to advocate for the world's respect- not through unprovoked violence or war, but through a brave army, a responsibly armed populace and whatever other measures are necessary to keep us all safe and strong. Because that love we all want from the rest of the world? In my opinion, it's not coming. And I'm okay with that. 

Am Yisrael Chai- The Nation of Israel Lives.

The streets wear our pride

Enough is Most Definitely Enough

      Hello readers! Thanks for stopping by. This post is going to talk about some hard truths, so if you are the type of person who wants to debate murders in Israel based on where they occurred, please stop reading. If you want to explain to me the pathological and psychological reasons that would justify this murder, please stop reading. If you want to equate this murder with unsolved "Jewish extremism" cases and "price tag" graffiti, please stop reading. If you want to just forget about this terror, see how we can build bridges and move forward as soon as possible, please stop reading. If you are choosing to blame this on Bibi, or settlements, or poverty in Gaza, or recent incitement or anything except a culture that, since its inception, has sought to raise, train and glorify murderers of Jews, please stop reading. And none of this is because I think you are a bad person, or unworthy of reading. It is because my words and my anger and my anguish will be so outside your realm of comprehension, I fear you will gain nothing from them.

        For everyone else, scream with me. Raise your streaming eyes to the sky with me and pray as hard as you can for G-d to protect our holy brothers and sisters. Place your well-earned fury where it needs to be- at a people and an ideology that do not care that you are a mother, or that you live in Otniel versus Tel Aviv. They do not care if you are 80 years old, shuffling along with a walker. They do not care if you shirked the draft, or if you have served in the IDF for 20 years. They do not blink at the sight of your crying baby in the backseat or shrink at the possibility of having their "holy work" cut short by many armed civilians nearby. And sure, they are being incited, but this is not new. This is not some new wave of hatred that has suddenly and recently grabbed hold of the Palestinian population. This is what they have been raised to believe in 2016, but also in 1995, 1968 and 1925. 

         If you are reading this, you understand all this. You, like me, are at a loss for what to do. How do we keep our people safe and cut off the threat? How do we fight this unwinnable social media battle against a world that sees us as the oppressors and our murderers as the underdog? How do we cut through the divisions that live in our own camp, where so many well-meaning Israel- supporters still erroneously blame our struggles on "the West Bank?" How do we explain to them that they need to change their terminology, their mindsets; to realize that Jews have valid, ancestral, real, indigenous rights to all of Israel, including Judea and Samaria?

         Seems you can't use the word "indigenous" these days in some circles without mentioning super-Zionist, and indigenous-rights activist, Ryan Bellerose. As a Metis Indian, Ryan speaks out tirelessly to try and teach Jews how our struggle for our homeland is one of an indigenous people returning to their rightful home, not some colonialist enterprise for a safe space after the Holocaust. One of the things I like about him is that he speaks his mind, without editing, and people respond. As right- wing as you think I am, I could be a lot more so, and I definitely temper my words depending on the company around me. Ryan doesn't. I'm pretty jealous. He's here in Israel this month, touring and lecturing and hanging out, and I was lucky enough to meet him in one of his rare breaks in action. Meeting him was weird- I get a lot of friend requests on Facebook from fellow active Zionists, but I generally don't accept if I don't know them. My mom instructed me to accept Ryan, and in the time since, I've found myself nodding my head and "liking" much of his words of "politically incorrect" wisdom. 

I am not this tiny. Ryan is just bear-sized.

        I asked him 3 questions: Why are Jews right in thinking this land is ours? Why are we so scared to say that out loud? And finally, what can we do to argue our case more convincingly? His basic premise, on one leg, is this: The Jewish claim to the land of Israel (and the whole land, by the way!) is irrefutable. It is archaeological, it is linguistic, and cultural. Our claim is everywhere in the country, under the ground and permeating every tree in the forest and rock in the desert. We are scared to assert this right because our mentality is one of the Jew who still desperately wants to be thought of as "the white European" otherwise known as the apex of civilized society. We have, throughout our tenure in the diaspora, strived to ingratiate ourselves into that genteel society, to "pass" in a community that always rejected us. I nodded along as he explained that we are still doing that, and that Jews who apologize for Israel constantly, whether outspokenly (like in JVP or JStreet) or even more passively, are trying their hardest to maintain their seat at the "white European" (or American, or Canadian) table. He suggests to fix this, we as Jews need to "de-colonize." He explained we need to "see yourselves through a Jewish lens and stop identifying ourselves through a white-European lens." Whoa. 

          I feel comforted by these words. Having never doubted the Jews claims to the Land of Israel and always fought against those who would marginalize us realists who have found "land for peace" a ridiculous notion, Ryan's words resonate. They resonate more so because as a non-Jew, he is able to tap into a population that will take everything I say with a grain of salt. For everyone who dismisses me as some brainwashed, modern Orthodox, Bnei Akiva-type, crazy right-winger, Ryan is none of those things. And if both of us can come to the same exact conclusion, I welcome him and thank him for his contributions to our fight.

         As I write this, there has been another attack in "the settlements." A pregnant woman has been stabbed by a terrorist who was shot in the chase as he ran away. Reports are the woman almost lost her baby. Thoughts I had? I'm glad the murderer was killed and not taken to an Israeli hospital for treatment by a Jewish doctor. I don't care if they name 100 streets after him, it just shows the world their depravity. I wish a checkpoint had been there to stop him. I wish we could employ only Jewish labor, at least until we see real changes and can ensure our safety. I wish this attack wasn't just one of so many, destined to get lost in the shuffle. I wish this would stop occurring in "the settlements" which will no doubt cheapen her blood and breed excuses. I hope this is  the attack that turns leftists into crazy right wingers like me. I hope we can all finally band together, no matter our ideology, and work toward a better future for the Jews in this country. There will be other times to talk about "coexistence" and "meeting in the middle." More silly conversation about "2- state solutions" and "finding the Muslim moderates." There will be more time for daydreams in the future. But for me, that time is not right now.

         Now is the time to stand up for your Jewish brothers and to pray for your soldiers and policemen. Now is the time to stand shoulder to shoulder with the "settlers" because they're not different, and we're all hurting. Now is the time to pray for every victim of terror, just as peace-loving and kind-hearted as anyone else you know. And now is the time to be strong, to not be afraid. To be vigilant, but not become a shut-in. Now is the time to wave your flag, stand on your rooftop (proverbially or literally) and scream "Am Yisrael Chai- The nation of Israel lives!" We are here, we deserve to be here, and we are not going anywhere.

The Jew Stands Alone

           All we can think about these days is the terror.The terror we thought had abated, but in reality, took a nap and then hit us in a truly intense and personal way. A beautiful boy, Ezra Schwartz,  just 18 and spending his "year in Israel" as me and all my friends had done, was murdered by a Palestinian terrorist with an Uzi, while on his way back from giving food to lone soldiers. You really couldn't have scripted a more tragic end to such a special life. Even in a country and a time where these attacks have become somewhat expected and eerily commonplace, this loss hit me hard. I couldn't sleep or eat, and I found myself voraciously looking for information and photos and video of this kid I never knew, but felt like I personally lost. And I think we all did here in Israel, most especially the American-olim community. I thought of how I myself was "an American tourist in Israel" maybe 50 times on various Birthright and vacation trips. I spent the year here in seminary. When I was that age, I had no doubt whatsoever that once my year was up, I'd move back to New York and live a safe and happy Jewish life in America. Things change and I thank G-d I was bitten by the aliyah bug eventually, but my life mirrored Ezra's really closely at that point in my life. I was exactly what he was- an "American Jewish tourist in Israel." I thought of his friends and the other kids in his gap year, who must all be understandably afraid. About his parents and family, who did the most normal thing Orthodox American parents can do- send their kid to Israel for the year. I thought about his community, who could never fathom that tragedy would hit them from so far away.
           In the flood of articles to come out in the aftermath, one stood out to me as a new immigrant. It's common knowledge that this murder has been widely publicized in Israeli and Jewish media, but almost not at all in European and American media. As with many Jewish murders by terrorism in Israel, the world yawns. But the author of this article was truly disheartened by the fact that this American Jew, without the stain of Israeli citizenship, much less a (cringe) "settler" was being ignored by most of the American media and the president of the United States. She didn't understand how American citizens killed in recent terror attacks in France and Mali received so much more media attention. She lamented the idea that, G-d forbid, if it was her or her family member who suffered the same fate, she would be equally abandoned by the country she loved and lived in for so many years. She rightly understood that as an American Jew who left to live in Israel, any tragedy that befell her here in Israel would be even less worthy of mention in the country where she is still a citizen.
             To say nothing of my disdain for the current American president (and trust me, after over 7 years, I have what to say), it struck me how my personal viewpoint differed so greatly from the writer of this article. First, the lack of media attention didn't surprise me, nor did the near-radio silence and lack of condemnation from the State Department. I have come to expect exactly this from the world we live in, and much more tragically, from the country where I grew up and still appreciate tremendously. I chose to focus on the local papers in Boston who wrote beautiful tributes, and the senators and representatives on both sides of the aisle who remembered Ezra publicly. I had gratitude to the select (and to be fair, mostly conservative) national media who did mention Ezra's loss and the Jewish community's outpouring of support. But call me jaded, I'm just not surprised anymore, nor am I particularly upset.
            When articles about murdered Jews come with rationalizations and equivocations, it's a real blow. When the State Department or president mentions a Jewish death in Israel and follows it with calls for "restraint on all sides," it negates all that came before it. When anti-Semites on social media use your tragedy as fodder for their own agenda, you can't help but wish they didn't know about it at all. And when you have to doubt the country that you pledged allegiance to for twelve years, doubt their allegiance to you, it's really an awful feeling.
            I don't know when it happened, and it definitely hasn't always been this way, but I have come to the realization that at the end of the day, the Israeli and world Jewish communities are the only ones who will love, honor and respect me no matter what. As we have seen with Ezra, all victims of Palestinian terror, and Jewish victims of terror around the world, we are our own champions. We are the ones who will remember us, the ones who will memorialize us. We are the ones who will pray for us and the ones who will let the world know what we lost. We are the only ones who will fight for our rights and our homeland. And while I am forever grateful to our allies in the world- the Christians and the Muslims and the atheists and the Buddhists who care about us and our safety- we, the Jewish nation, are our one steadfast support system. Throughout our history, we have had countless enemies, with no one to turn to, no one to defend us. We have had ourselves and only ourselves through the millenia, and now is no different. I know a lot of you will read this and think "What a stupid girl. I am a proud American/Parisian/Brit/Aussie Jew. I have plenty of friends who would stand for me, defend me." And I have no doubt that they would. I, too, have friends who love me, love the Jewish people, even love Israel. But you know what? The only support I need in this world is that of my fellow Jews. I know that if I have that then the fickle affections of Europe or the United States won't affect me. That if, G-d forbid, anything happens to me, or someone I love, I won't have to live with the anguish of feeling deserted by the country where I was born. I know that this country, my country, my government and my people will embrace me, support me and love me like I love them. Because we are one family and that is what family does.
               I know I say this a lot, but I always mean it- The Nation of Israel Lives- with each other and for each other. Am Yisrael Chai.

Calling a Spade a Spade

       I haven't written in a while, mostly because I haven't had that much to say and I don't like to post just for posting's sake. Then, furiously and all at once, things happen and I have to choose what to write about, and how to organize my disparate and racing thoughts into one coherent, and hopefully interesting, blog post.
      Three things I want to weave together to hopefully make some sense of this crazy, scary, beautiful, infuriating world in which we live. The first is the EU boycott and labeling of products made in "disputed areas" of Israel. Needless to say, it sickens me to my very core, it is clearly and without question (very) thinly veiled anti Semitism, it is eerily reminiscent of the darkest era of human history, and it sets a hideous precedent of blaming the victim. Second, the attacks in Paris are truly heartbreaking. I know that people are valid in their anger towards this world that chooses to demonize Israel, while Israelis and Jews would never brutally murder over 150 Frenchmen in the name of Judaism or Israel. I know there is justifiable disgust in a world that excuses violence against innocent Jewish Israelis, but denounces it against innocent French. I get all that. But that's not my bag. I can only think that as tolerant as the liberal French are (too tolerant maybe for a crazy right-winger like myself), it is much more out of trying to see the good in humanity, and less due to willfully ignoring the bad. In trying to see the good, one often has to ignore the obvious bad, but I don't think anyone "deserved" this or "got what was coming to them." No one deserves to be murdered at a rock show by a merciless jihadist on a religious crusade. The third, and most personal thread is something that happened to me this past shabbat.
          I was having a nice lunch with new friends, when talk turned to a mutual acquaintance who I like very much but have clashed with ideologically on political issues in the past. I therefore try as hard as possible to keep the peace when I see her and stay on neutral topics (weather, movies, Israeli bureaucracy, etc) She often steers the conversation back to controversial topics, and, let's be honest, I don't back down. Still, I would tell anyone who asked that I like her and we get along just fine. My friend then tells me that she mentioned to a group of people that she has unfollowed me on Facebook. For those of you who don't know, that means she and I are still friends on Facebook, but she isn't alerted to anything I post or comment. While this fact irritated me, as she is someone who always crows about "hearing both sides" and "loving thoughtful debate", I had to be fair- I had unfollowed her myself many months ago. But what came next really shocked me: "Yeah, she said she can't follow you because of all the racist things you post." I was absolutely floored. Shocked. Disgusted.
             For those of you who aren't my Facebook friends, I post pretty regularly. Usually it's photos of me and my friends and family, scenic shots of the gorgeous landscape of Israel, and sometimes funny or heartwarming videos. On the rare occasion when I post something political, I try and keep it neutral/skewing pro-Israel. I have many liberal/Left friends on Facebook who I a) don't want to fight with b) don't want to aggravate (although why my different views bother the open-minded community so much is, again, curious) and c) don't want to alienate. So instead of posting something anti-anyone, I try and post things that are pro-Jewish/Israel. That way, I bring light onto my Facebook world instead of darkness. Or at least that's what I believed. But here I am, being called a "racist", a term I don't take lightly or shrug off, because I choose to defend Jews and Israel above anyone else. And you know what? I don't even feel a little bit bad about it. But I am horrified that my open-minded, peace-loving and coexistence-spouting friends see my Jewish pride as an excuse to label me a racist. I personally don't think it's brave or noble to throw your own people under the bus to make an ill-informed political statement, but if you want to do that, it's your right.  I take offense to being called a racist for rightly calling Islamists, who kill in the name of Islam, terrorists. I am not calling all Muslims terrorists. But I am also not under the delusion that a terrorist's faith plays no role in the actions they take. I take offense to being shamed for defending Jews who live in Judea and Samaria and not bowing to the insane belief that they are the cause of Palestinian aggression. And I will not be silenced and denounced as a "racist" for telling the anti-Zionists of the world, whether in real life or on social media, that their hatred of Israel is modern-day- anti-Semitism and I will not tolerate it.
              So let's tie these three seemingly disparate pieces together to try and make sense of a world gone mad- literally. When the world turns a blind eye to terrorism in their midst and then trains that blind eye on punishing the one free democracy in the Middle East with a boycott focused on destroying their economy- there is a problem. When defense of your own people at the expense of a different culture bent on destroying them is seen as "racist"- there is a problem. When you can not label the terror organizations that stare at you in the face, daring you to call them by name, screaming their desired goals as they go- when you have to instead blame poverty, and lack of education, and climate change, and settlements, and Islamophobia and everything except what the terrorists are actually telling you is the reason- there is a problem. And if you purport to be the one who believes that "everyone's opinion matters" and "everyone is entitled to their views" and you then silence the views that conflict with your own- there is a problem.
               Everything is interconnected, and I'm not saying my views are the only valid ones (although they are unapologetically valid to me), but we need to connect the dots. We can't live in a vacuum or with our heads in the sand (2 cliches in one sentence- oy!) We need to be real, and we need to be kind. Even me, in my crazy- Zionist- right-wing-extremist mindset knows that these 2 characteristics are in no way in conflict. Be kind, look for the good, help others and don't judge. But be real, too. When people say things, believe them. And when they do things, don't spend your whole day justifying and equivocating. Be aware, and be safe. My heart is with the victims of terror in Paris, and everywhere in this world terror spreads. And of course, first and always, with Israel. Am Yisrael Chai.

Wouldn't It Be Nice?

I have started and re-started writing this blog post every day since the current wave of terror started about 2 weeks ago. And, sadly, each post would have been incomplete without including the latest news, the newest angle or the most recent heroic story. I gave an hour-long tour at my job yesterday, only to come back and find that I missed two attacks in different areas of Israel. In one hour. So I will do my best to organize my frenzied, terrified and confusing thoughts into one (hopefully) readable post.

Wouldn't it be nice?


Wouldn't it be nice if I could board a bus, shop in a supermarket or walk to my friend's house without my heart beating out of my chest? Without my eyes darting, my neck craning, constantly trying to turn myself into a moving target instead of a stationary one? I try to be vigilant, to profile (luckily, I'm not a liberal, so I don't even feel bad) but the terrorists are as young as 13 and women have gotten in on the action, so it gets tougher. I clutch my pepper spray and turn off my headphones as I watch the list of terrorized areas grow- Jerusalem, Tel Aviv, Petach Tikva, Maaleh Adumim. The Old City and the light rail stations, the main streets and the side streets. And now the buses. The buses, which for years I avoided because of their prominence for terror during the Second Intifada, suddenly again a target, a nightmare realized. X-Ray- vision would be nice.

Meet my new constant companion- pepper spray.

Wouldn't it be nice if a mainstream media outlet reported truthfully, without anti-Israel bias? If the headlines read "Palestinians terrorist stabs Jew" instead of "Israel shoots Palestinian"? Sure, the Palestinian was shot- that's pretty much the only way to win a knife fight! If you find another way, please tell me! I'm pretty defenseless over here with my little pepper spray. And the media volume is too much to bear, the rhetoric too high. I vacillate between wanting Israeli news reported worldwide and knowing that once it is, Israel will look like the aggressor and instead of the world ignoring us, they will demonize us. I wish I could find an article to share with my friends on Facebook that tells the truth and also isn't from an Israeli/Jewish publication. An unbiased Washington Post piece would be nice.

Wouldn't it be nice if rational people in the world rallied around us, vocally and unequivocally? Didn't refer to this as a "cycle of violence," as if shooting terrorists isn't warranted? Can't they just refrain from telling "both sides to settle down" as if we're two equally impertinent seven year olds in a fight? There is a Left-wing writer who, instead of using this time to advocate for Israelis and our unquestioned safety, is shaming Jews into placating Arabs. Her microphone is huge, mine is tiny. So any American Jews reading her words are going to be misled into thinking this conflict is about anything but what it is. It's not about bubbling frustration over the Temple Mount, or the "occupation." It's not about Duma or Gaza or the checkpoints or the security wall or the blockade. It is about murdering Jews; frequently, randomly and brutally. Not "settlers," policemen or soldiers. Sure, them too, But in reality, according to a large majority of Palestinian and Israeli Arabs, all Jews in Israel are guilty and all worthy of the same fate. A little more moral clarity would be nice.

Wouldn't it be nice if someone had a solution? Because as "radical" as my ideas might be, I can't think of that many that would work right now. If I thought house demolitions, kill- shots to terrorists and curfews would stop this, I'd be the biggest cheerleader. But our largest obstacle right now is incitement and indoctrination- and no checkpoints or metal detectors can stop that. And so we choose to blame the government for not doing more- and even I vent my frustration- but what is it they should be doing? What's the answer? It would be nice if someone came up with something good and soon.

And wouldn't it be so nice if Israel could just live in peace? Not the peace that comes from capitulating, or cutting off one arm to keep the other- but real peace? Who honestly believes that any right-winger wants war, wants this? Who doesn't realize that we all just want the right to live as Jews in the Jewish homeland, without apologizing? We all want a safe place to live, for our kids to grow up. We all want our biggest gripe to be the rising price of hummus or the spottiness of Egged buses. No one wants to live in constant fear, constant anger and constant dread. No one wants to choose between pepper spray and a taser, or sign up for a "stabbing self-defense class." No one wants to feel petrified to leave the house, to attend a wedding, to lay on the beach. No one, not the Left and not the Right wants war. It would be nice to live in safety.

It would be nice to live in peace.

Taking the "Home" Out of Homeland

         Today I was informed that I am not a resident of Israel, as I previously believed. Six Supreme Court Justices from the United States informed me that, as far as they were concerned, I am a resident of Jerusalem, Full Stop. Or Jerusalem, Earth. What has been universally regarded as the capital of the Jewish homeland for 67 (and over 3,000) years is suddenly in no man's land, a casualty of those who would rather see this city as part of a political agenda, instead of a home to thousands of Israelis. 
          And so Jerusalem, which is the home of the Knesset and the Supreme Court, and the city mentioned in Torah almost 700 times and never once in the Koran, is apparently not to be considered the capital of the Jewish State. Because they say so. And so, please G-d, when I have children who will hopefully be born in some hospital in undisputed and US-sanctioned West Jerusalem, and I apply for an American passport (because I still love and appreciate the country of my birth), those children with be from "Jerusalem, the Universe." "Jerusalem, Nowhere." "Jerusalem, We are too scared of World Opinion to be honest and say it's Israel."
          To me, this is a real tragedy. It's negated what our ancestors died for, in Jewish history and in the history of this State. And if I'm honest, it's an act of defiance against our own self-determination. We are being told that the United States is denying our right to choose our own capital. The Cabinet is ostensibly saying that, so as not to offend the minority, you must gravely insult the majority. This whole debacle does nothing but weaken the Jewish claim to this city, and perhaps that is the point. Perhaps there is an unsaid goal that if people say Jerusalem isn't really part of Israel, it will make it so. And the army of anti-Zionists and anti-Semites worldwide is jubilant at this public slight. Just looking at the comments sections of the various articles about this case will give you a glimpse into the international damage this is causing to a people that suffers one assault after another. The comments are rife with hate and fresh anti-semitic epithets, showing us all that yet again, we are alone in our fight for justice. The United States, our eternal and natural ally, is the country that is now causing all of Israel's detractors to crow with delight, turning this basically clerical issue into one that threatens our very legitimacy in this city.
           Well I, for one, refuse to be told that the capital city of Israel is not actually located in Israel. I refuse to believe that due to political correctness and a fear of condemnation from the Arab World (and- gasp! Europe), children born in Jerusalem have no country to call their own. And I pray for the day when the State Department and the president and the Supreme Court of the USA agree with me and change this ridiculous ruling. But until that time, I remain a proud resident of Jerusalem, eternal capital city of the State of Israel.

Me in a Jerusalem Tshirt with an Israeli flag- sorry State Department!

It's Party Time!

        It was hard to find the words to write this post for a few reasons. First is the job I recently started, which, weirdly enough, has been gobbling up a lot of my blogging time! But more than that, it's because I have so many emotions, thoughts and feelings that keep sending me off onto different (equally fascinating) tangents, I just don't know where to start. Of course, I am referring to the recently finished election season here in Israel, which I have already written a bit about. 
      For those of you residing under a rock, Israel recently held elections, which essentially (although much more complicatedly) pitted the left-wing Isaac (Buji) Herzog against the right-wing current prime minister, Benjamin (Bibi) Netanyahu. Yes, Buji vs. Bibi. It would be adorable if it wasn't such a proverbial bloodbath. Without getting too deep into it, it looks like Bibi will retain his position, by putting together the larger coalition of seats in the Knesset (Parliament). Side note: maybe I should be teaching civics and government to English-speaking olim? Have I missed my calling? But, I digress. 
       Now, unless you have never read my blog or met me, you would know that I am decidedly right-wing. Unapologetic, strongly, proudly and unwaveringly. Does that mean that I hate everyone with a different viewpoint? Not at all. I try to hear everyone's opinion, and see where they're coming from- sometimes I don't do that great but I do try. That said, the days leading up to the election and the two days since have left me in a state of perpetual social anxiety. Elections in the States are tense, for sure. I can remember waking up that first Wednesday in November in 2008 and 2012, hearing who won the presidency, having a few moments of intense sadness, and moving on. And yes, it was hard to hear the gloating, triumphant drumbeat of my extremely wonderful and passionate Democrat friends, but life goes on. In Israel, it is a whole different story. I never felt an election resonate so much within. I never felt true existential fear that my candidate might not win. I never worried that my vote might actually make a difference, because, honestly, in New York it really doesn't. 
        Leading up to the race I truly didn't know for whom I should vote. Should I vote with my brain, and go with Likud to avoid the doomsday scenario my fellow right-wingers feared? Or with my heart, for the candidate who stood for every I did. Honestly, until probably the day before, I was unsure and confused. But to lighten the mood, let me tell you about Election Day! First, Election Day is a national holiday in Israel. No one is allowed to make their employees work, and if they do, it's at twice their normal salary! This means that the whole country is off! Now, for a country where there is no Sunday (I mean, it exists, but it's a workday) and the only official days off are Jewish/nationalist holidays-this is huge! The cafes were packed, everyone was out and about, and the weather was magnificent! It was really fabulous. The electoral process, however, is a little funnier. First, you can only vote in the one polling location where you are registered. This means, if you lived in the Golan and moved to Jerusalem without changing  your address legally- you have to head back up north to vote! Luckily, my polling place was a 3- minute walk. So I got all dressed up in blue and white (nails included) and I have to tell you, people appreciated that I went that extra mile. When you get to the polling place and sign in, you head to honestly the most low-tech voting booth outside of Botswana. It is basically an oak tag with a bunch of slips of paper, each with the symbol of the different parties. You select your chosen party's slip and put into an envelope, seal and drop into a cardboard box. I kid you not, it is like taking the Pepsi challenge or voting for Prom Queen. Anyway, I took the requisite "first time voting!" photo, and went on my way.

Always color coordinate with your polling place

       The rest of my day was great and relaxed, but at the back of my mind, I had the niggling stress that comes with hoping your candidate wins and everything works out okay. Suffice it to say, it went really well for my candidate. I was happy Bibi won, happy the right- wing seemed strong, a bit disappointed my party didn't do better (okay, okay- I voted Bayit Yehudi), but altogether happy and moving on with my life. Right? Wrong.
       If I was stressed out by the invective coming out of both sides before the election, I was honestly baffled by the sheer hatred coming from the left-wing after the polls closed and the votes were counted. The way people were referring to Bibi, it was as if Ahmadinejad had just been re-elected and the country was on a speeding train towards destruction. Essentially, very little had changed since the day before- same prime minister, a few shifts in seats (notably more Arabs in the Knesset, but somehow that hasn't made it to the papers) but essentially the same as Monday afternoon. But you wouldn't know it from my Facebook feed! In one short day, the peace process (which was apparently just on the brink of happening) was now dead forever, America was cutting all ties, the Arabs were going to riot in the streets, and Bibi was going to turn Israel into an extremist theocracy. I'm being tongue in cheek, but I have read some variation of each of these themes over the past two days. It was as if the left wing had never lost an election before! And they couldn't blame voter turnout (one of the highest ever), so they had to blame every other conceivable factor- fear, Iran, America, the media, the polls, the Orthodox- whatever worked, just as long as it wasn't the fact that, I dunno, maybe more people in this country wanted Bibi than Buji? 
        I kept getting a lot of people asking me (usually my liberal friends), "Are you so happy?" And my response is always the same. I am relieved. Is Bibi my ideological twin? No. Do I think he's the better option for a strong Israel? Definitely. Do I think Israel will be safer with him in charge? Yup. Do I think this will ruin our relationship with America? I certainly hope not! Would I rather an Obama that hates Israel under Bibi because he won't capitulate, rather than an Obama that loves Israel under Buji because he throws Jews out of Judea and Samaria? You bet! Do I think Bibi is better equipped to handle the Iranian threat? Of course! Does Bibi ever make a mistake in my eyes? One hundred percent! But all that said, I am relieved.
         I am relieved that Israel is the Jewish state, and that I get to live here. I am relieved that all our views get representation in our government, views from all ends of the spectrum. I am relieved that we have a true and thriving democracy, where we can be free to aggressively insult our leaders with no fear of repression. I am relieved that I got through this crazy election season alive and intact. And mostly, I am relieved that this is all over, that we can go back to our regular lives where no one disagrees, and everyone just gets along all the time. Just kidding! We'll go back to arguing over everything here, just like we always do. And I love it all.

Rock the Vote (Part 2)

         Sorry I left you hanging on that last post. I know you're all breathlessly wondering how the election event went, so get settled in, because it was an interesting night! To begin, the event was designed for young olim, and was to be conducted in English. Each of the 7 major parties would send one representative to basically sell their party's platform, answer our questions and essentially put a face to their contingent. The event was held in a hip Tel Aviv bar and the room was divided into tables, so as to create more intimate environments with which to connect with the candidates. Every fifteen minutes, the candidates would move on to the next table, kind of like a "speed-date your politicians" event. My table was made up of some liberals, some left-wingers, some smolanim and some progressives. What I'm saying is- everyone was a Leftist. If you've been keeping up with this blog, I am not a Leftist. But I was prepared for this eventuality, so I brought one of my favorite fellow right-wing olim, Ilan, as a partner-in-crime for the night (no crimes were actually committed, not to worry.) Ilan and I agree on almost all issues, so it was good to know that when I asked a question where every person disagreed with my point of view, someone had my back. And it was fun to make fun of the outlandish Leftist stuff people said with a fellow "crazy right-winger."

Being super focused on Likud's presentation

For purposes of easy reading, I'll give you a synopsis of each party's representative:
         What was once Labor is now some "unity party" called "the Zionist Union." Essentially, neither of the 2 biggest left-wing parties could get enough seats, so they have formed the Zionist Union party to pool all their support, in hopes of taking the prime ministership. I will reiterate, I think the name of this party is unintentionally hilarious, as I do not see how fundamentally changing the Jewish character of Israel and giving away land to Arabs piece by piece has anything to do with Zionism, but I digress. The woman chosen to speak was a Russian immigrant who seemed, quite frankly, like she had better places to be. I asked her why someone like me (ie- a crazy right-winger) would be interested in her party in any way. I have to hand it to her- she valiantly gave me reasons (unconvincing, but still) why the Zionist Union would work for me, too. Oh, and also- Bibi is the worst. This became a running theme by every single party (except Likud, obviously, and Bayit Yehudi) so for purposes of summation: everyone hates Bibi (not me, of course- just everyone else.)
             Next came Yisrael Beiteinu who had to spend most of their time defending themselves from reports of scandal and their party leader, Avigdor Lieberman. I personally don't mind his fiery brand of nationalism, but you know who does? Tel Avivians. They were not on "Team Yisrael Beiteinu" and it showed. YB also sent 2 representatives- one of whom apparently had all the answers and struggled with English, and another who spoke as beautifully as the Prince of England, but had to defer to the Israeli for all the answers. It was kind of a cumbersome presentation, but still informative. 
            Likud sent their #32 delegate to represent them. Weird choice, huh? Even in the absolute best-case scenario, this guy isn't MK-bound. So why was he the rep, you may ask? I don't know for sure, but he is Likud's only openly gay candidate. His goal is to make Likud more gay-friendly and the LGBT community more Likud-friendly. Worthy goals all, but let's face it- Likud knows their audience. A bunch of young people from Tel Aviv will obviously respond best to this specific representative, especially considering their almost visceral hatred of Bibi. It was a good move. I thought he spoke well, except at one point he said he was atheist and in the next breath said the Jewish claim to this land was biblical and Torah- based. It may make sense to more enlightened people, but to a G-d- believing, Torah-thumper like myself, I didn't how those 2 ideas worked together in his brain.
          Then came the two "centrist" parties, Yesh Atid and Kulanu. I had forgotten all about Yesh Atid, but was interested in what they had to say because I have right-wing friends who voted for them, based on their economic plans. If I can paraphrase their platform "The Left is wrong and the Right is more wrong so vote for us!" They didn't explain how they were right, but I liked that angle. Politicians in the US always come to the middle during elections, and Yesh Atid was owning that middle ground. ("And you get a car! And you get a car! Everyone gets a car!") Over in Kulanu, they sent a real dynamo. Handsome and boisterous, he was like an edition of Us Weekly; super fun to read, with no substance. One hilarious exchange was when he called out all the other parties for "not being accountable" for their mistakes. He promised that if elected, Kulanu would be accountable for all they do. I asked how he could know that for sure, if this was a brand-new party. He told me Kahlon (the party leader), had been in Knesset for a while so I asked what Kahlon had ever done wrong for which he took accountability. This very gregarious man listened, looked at me seriously, and answered an entirely different question altogether. It was humorous for sure, but I did hope for an actual answer. 
          When Bayit Yehudi came to sit down, I was pretty excited. This was the party I wanted to support, and I also wanted to be a friendly face at a table full of very unfriendly, Bayit Yehudi detractors. And then- disaster! The representative had a grasp of English about as good as my grasp of Hebrew. That is to say, he can speak English, he can understand it and he can lightly converse in it. But can he represent his party platform to a group of aggressive olim? Nope. And it was a real shame, too. What could have been a great opportunity to endear Bayit Yehudi to a group of Left-wing olim in an intimate setting was an opportunity wasted. Bummer.
          I saved the Meretz representative for last, because the whole experience was an exercise in absurdity. Meretz bills themselves as the "progressive" party, more to the left of Labor/Zionist Union. With just a quick perusal of their literature I could see, they felt the exact opposite of me on every single possible topic. It was almost humorous, if you can forget about the fact that they actually get elected to some seats in every election. The representative was a nice looking, well-dressed man who confessed to us that, in his youth, he had been a Likud member (gasp!) He followed that up with "Well, we all make mistakes and I switched to Meretz!" which got an appreciative laugh from those assembled. I quickly remarked, "So you also think switching to Meretz was a mistake?" which received an even larger laugh! Two points for the crazy right-wingers! As he continued, he used expressions like "We support a redistribution of wealth." I nearly spit out my Goldstar. In the US, that phrase is often inferred and never uttered. It's political suicide, much as some politicians agree with it in principal. I asked Mr. Meretz if he meant what he just said and he responded "yes, of course." Mind you, this man is a lawyer who probably makes more than 95% of Israelis, and I somewhat tend to doubt that he'd be willing to give away half his earnings to the poor in Ashkelon, but who knows? The whole presentation was one pro-socialism, anti-religion, progressive proposal after another and my mouth was agape the entire time. Still, it was super- interesting to actually hear about, because when on earth will I come this close to a Meretz representative again in my lifetime?
              During the evening's presentation, there was a little clique sitting across from me, an Australian couple and their newly-acquired friend from New York. (Turns out, our common past as New Yorkers was our only discernible link). They were as Left-wing as I am Right-wing, except they were disgusted that I had the nerve to be there, espousing my views. When I would try to clarify or follow up a question, they would shush me. I kid you not, actually shush me! And when they would ask a question, it was usually a 4-pronged question with multiple follow-ups. To every candidate. When a Right- wing candidate would say something they disagreed with, they would actually snicker in his face, as if this silly person had no right to that opinion. It was a lot to take, to the point where after the 3rd "shush" I said "Please stop shushing me. It may be hard to hear, but you aren't the only people here that matter." They looked shocked, then rolled their eyes at one another, and that, kids, is how fourth-graders do Israeli politics!
              This event didn't exactly open my eyes or answer any burning questions, but it did give me some more insight into the political landscape here (and drive home the fact that Tel Aviv and I will forever have a complicated relationship). It was cool to have face-time with actual candidates- I've never met candidates back in Queens or had the chance to ask them questions. Mostly, it spurred me on to stay active in the election process, keep reading and searching, and hopefully to arrive at the best possible choice for me as an Israeli. Viva Democracy!

Rock the Vote

                 I have been passionate about politics since I turned eighteen. That year, I missed the voting cutoff by a few months, so by the time another presidential election rolled around, I was twenty and excited to exercise my civic duty. And exercise it I did- voting, with my family, (as a tiny and insignificant bloc) in every city, state and federal election from then until when I made aliyah. And so as to not belabor the reveal- I am a registered Democrat but I vote Republican. Always. And if you know anything about New York City politics, it is basically casting a ballot for the loser, Every. Single. Time. No matter how crooked or inept or terrible the Democrat candidate is (cough, DiBlasio) the Republican is basically just a man in a suit, waiting to be defeated. Similarly, in these last two presidential elections, my votes have been utterly useless. To vote for the Republican in blue New York is like shoveling your sidewalk during a blizzard- you feel like you've done your part but ultimately, it makes no difference. I watched Obama get elected twice, sitting in blue, blue Queens, wishing I lived in Texas or Mississippi or better yet Florida, so my vote could actually mean something. But it didn't. I did, however, vote so often that Jury Duty notices basically came to my house daily.
                 Then I moved to Jerusalem, Israel. I knew that I would get to vote at some point, but little did I know, the government would fold and elections would be held this March, two years earlier than scheduled. This excited me greatly, for as a citizen of Israel, I was now allowed to actually have a say in who was to be elected! After years of sideline advocating and politicking in the US, now my opinions actually have some weight behind them- now I can be a part of the action! But whom to vote for? Not to belabor another (highly obvious) point, but I am right-wing. Not crazy right-wing, as my liberal friends would accuse me of being, just regular, Israel-loving-Jewish-State-advocating-strong-defense-strategy-Judea-and-Samaria-supporting-Temple-Mount-visiting-religious-Zionist right-wing! And if that makes me a crazy right-winger, well, I guess I am! To me, it just makes sense. It's how I was raised back in NYC and has taken on an even more intense sense of rightness for me while living here. It's a matter of security and saftey, of keeping the Jewish state Jewish, with it's roots in history and it's legitimacy unquestioned. It's not apologizing for being the home of the Jews, all Jews, and maintaining it's Jewish character. To me, I live in the Jewish state, not a state that so happens to house a lot of Jews. But that's just me. 
                 Or so I thought! When I came here, I told everyone in my ulpan that my goal was to join Knesset one day and I jokingly (but not at all as a joke) remarked that I wanted to be prime minister one day. Like the next Golda Meir, except virulently opposed to socialism. Then I discovered there was a candidate and a party who literally said "No more apologizing." Stop apologizing for Israel's defense of itself, and stop apologizing for the Jewish character of this country. Stop telling residents of Judea and Samaria that they don't deserve the government's help- are they any less Israeli than those in Tel Aviv? (If I may be so bold, they love this country more than any of us!) Stop apologizing for the IDF and the way terrorists are treated- they certainly don't apologize to us for causing terror. He was saying everything that I was thinking but hadn't heard, and I was sold.
                Then, some reality. Elections here are very different than in the States. With so many parties (as a parliamentary system, one votes for a party and the party leader who can create the largest coalition of seats then becomes the prime minister) it's a real bloodbath. Hareidi candidates argue with one another, the Left all try to distinguish their positions and the Right all try and out-Right one another. Each of them blames the other for the country's failings and no one is ever to blame. Except Bibi. Apparently, he is to blame for everything. Now, I personally like Bibi. I think he's a brilliant orator, a proud Jew and a true war hero. That said, he has taken steps that I can't approve of, like releasing terrorists and freezing housing (lest the left lead you to believe he's all 'build baby build'). Do I blame him for his frosty relationship with Obama? Nope. I believe Obama hates Israel and hates Bibi more for not capitulating more to the Palestinians. I also think that, thank G-d, Congress and the vast majority of Americans support Israel and know how right Bibi is on it's peace and secuirty. But he has been in office for quite a while. And if it were up to me, we'd have new (cough, Bennett) blood as prime minister, but now is apparently not that time.
                And so we have Bibi from Likud or Tzipi Livni/Isaac Herzog (yes, they are going to share the prime ministership, how bizarre?) from the entirely misnomered "Zionist Union." Those are the options. And whoever can make up a larger coalition will be the leader(s) of the country. And if, G-d forbid, that is Livni/Herzog, I believe we are in trouble over here. So this is where the dilemma sets in. Do I vote with my heart- for a party whose platform represents me most closely? Or do I vote for Likud, who needs right-wing votes in order to stay in leadership? My cousin certainly thinks so. He's every bit as right-wing as me, but tries to convince me constantly to support Likud. To him, Iran is the main issue here, and he knows Bibi is the only one able to deal with the threat (probably true). He sends me videos, articles and slogans daily, trying to sway my vote. Do I really believe the tides of the Israeli election turn through me? No. But I did become one of several million votes in Israel, rather than one of hundreds of millions of votes back in the US. And so, in raw numbers, my vote does matter more here! What to do?!
                To get a grasp on the situation, I signed up for an event where candidates from each major party represented their party's positions to young olim like myself. The experience was such a trip that it needs it's own blog post to truly do it justice. So stay tuned for Part 2, okay? Thanks, you're the best!