Jordana in Jamaica Estates (Part 2)

       Welcome back to NYC- or rather, my reflections of my time in NYC coming at you from a booth at a coffee shop in the Moscow airport. 

I call this look "Blending In"

Where were we? Ah, yes- after a week of preparation for Passover and seeing some great friends, my family packed up to leave for our Pesach program, which was to be held in a mansion/hotel on Long Island. The program will henceforth be known as “Pesach-For-Less,” as it is both the actual name of the program, as well as the essence of the program. My whole life my family went to a hotel in the Catskills called the Granit (and then the Hudson Valley Resort.) This was Pesach for me- I didn’t even know Pesach could exist outside Kerhonkson, New York. Then a few years ago, we began to stay home. To say I hated this new arrangement is an understatement. So much so that I would find a way to spend a few days at the Granit by myself, and hang out with friends I knew who still went. Turns out, the only person who hated staying home more than me is my mom. So she found this program, and we hoped for the best. I mean, how bad could it be, right? We’d all be together and someone else would clean our rooms for Pesach and cook our food- seems awesome. Turns out Pesach For Less (PFL) isn’t just a name, it’s a lifestyle. While the location was lovely, the crowd was, shall we say, different from my family. We are a proudly Orthodox, American family, but we lean modern. My mom doesn’t cover her hair and my dad doesn’t wear a black hat. I might wear a knee-grazing skirt and flip-flops to the pool. This crowd did none of these things. They hailed from Brooklyn, Monsey and Lakewood- all lovely places, but certainly not my target demographic. Everyone was very nice, but I wasn’t motivated to socialize, which worked out great, since I was there to be with my family. My Bubby and Grandpa also joined us for the holiday, and my aunt, uncle and cousins came for the last 2 days.

        It was kind of weird to be away from Israel for such a special holiday. To this day, even with all the time I’ve spent in Israel, I’ve still never spent Pesach there! I got a lot of grief from a friend about leaving for the chag, “So will you actually have the nerve to sing ‘Next year in Jerusalem’ at your seder?” he taunted. When I reminded him that I live there full-time and he lives there never and still sings the same song, he did not back down and although I know he’s wrong, I am a bit irked. It actually has me thinking that I may have to spend next Pesach in Israel and find another time to visit the family in NYC. We’ll see. Holidays in Israel are one-day/one-Seder affairs, while outside Israel they are 2 days. This made my second day of the holiday confusing and weird. My rabbi told me I could do melacha (work/electricity stuff/what have you) only in private, with no one at all around. This was fun but awkward as I shared a room with my sister, and she is a napper. With her in the room, I basically just read, which is what I’d have done on the chag, so being Israeli wasn’t the perk I’d anticipated.

      Chol Hamoed at PFL was not all that exciting. Sure they had a pool and a tennis court, but the weather was atrocious and really, how many times can you swim in a 4-foot indoor pool? I spent most of my time outside the confines of the mansion, visiting friends and obviously, shopping (at this point, the addiction is kickin’.) The exception was Sunday, when my entire family spent the day together celebrating my grandfather’s Ninetieth Birthday! Since myself and 3 of my cousins live in Israel now, it was the first time the entire family was together in years! We all had lunch and cake together and then took a big family photo, which will no doubt be reused in perpetuity for years to come, as we are all featured. Two days later, I took my niece and nephews on a little trip to “Bounce!”, a play area essentially covered in trampolines and foam. Sounds super- fun, right? We made our reservation and headed over. To our shock and mostly dismay, every other Orthodox family in the tri-state area had the very same brilliant idea! The place was hopping (literally) with little kippa-topped kiddies as far as the eye could see. It made my little cuties extremely shy and apprehensive at first, staring at interminable lines of big kids waiting to jump. Luckily, the children have infinitely more tolerance for lines than their aunt, and as we left the day was deemed a huge success by the kiddos. And quite frankly, as long as they’re happy, I need to get over my own limited bouncing time!

         Pesach came and went without much more fanfare and I prepared for my last week in NYC, with no religious demands on my time, but tons of social demands. I know, good problems right? Basically, I would wake up and be out the door by nine every morning, only to return by eleven that night, exhausted and ready to do it all again the next day. As I used to do when I lived in the States, I lived in my car, catching up on my American radio (for those of you in Israel, it’s just “Uptown Funk”, the world’s most irritation song, on loop.) This would be my last hurrah with my car- as I’m not shipping it to Israel, and don’t want to make my family responsible for its upkeep for the once I year I use it. It’s now for sale (if you know anyone who wants a reliable Nissan Altima!) and that signifies just a bit more of my separation from America and ingratiation into Israel. I just got real deep describing selling my car, but I think you get it.

         After a week of seeing close friends, eating my favorite foods (I miss you already, Tuesday night sushi!) , taking in a Yankee game (and Yankee win!) with my dad, hitting a "friends of the IDF" event, and buying everything on sale in a twenty- mile radius, it was time for my last shabbat with my family. If you are my friend on Facebook, you know I love shabbat in Israel. Whether in Jerusalem or some other new and special Jewish neighborhood, I am blessed to experience shabbat in the Holy Land with holy people who also love and appreciate shabbat the way I do. All that said, there is nothing I connect with quite like hearing my father’s kiddush and havdalah, eating my mother’s chulent and chatting with my little sister at the shabbat table. My parents even made a kiddush with all their close friends who treat me like family. It was the perfect way to spend my last shabbat in America- in the incredible neighborhood where I grew up with the people I love most.

        One last- stop trip to Target (I had to!) and I was back in the airport, experiencing the utter joy that is international flying at JFK (insert extreme sarcasm emoji here). My flight here to Moscow actually featured 2 older Russian ladies who were probably the rudest humans I’ve ever had the displeasure to meet. They scream-spoke the entire flight (minus the hour they blessedly slept) and when I had the nerve to ask them to quiet down, not only didn’t they, but they yelled at me! I’m not ashamed to say I hope their ride home was bumpy, their borscht was spoiled and their fur hats were stolen! Anyway, next post will be back from Jerusalem, so until then- dasvedanya and paka!

It's Springtime in Moscow!

Jordana in Jamaica Estates (Part 1)

Privet from Moscow! I am currently sitting in a booth in a Russian airport, in the midst of an 8- hour layover from NYC to Tel Aviv. And why, you might ask, did I choose to take this very scenic and unbelievably circuitous route back home, after spending 3 delightful weeks with my family in New York? Because the fare was so low, you actually feel like this airline is doing you a favor. Yet once you actually take the flights, you realize the trek is so long, and flying so thoroughly uncomfortable, that you seriously reconsider ever doing it again.

           Since the whole experience of going back to America for the first time since aliyah is so intense, and since I did and saw so many things in my 3 weeks back Stateside, this post may actually turn into a 2- parter. But let me start at the very beginning, which I’m told is a very good place to start, and we’ll see how it goes.

          It was the week before Pesach/Passover, and I was finally taking that “trip back to the States” that I had booked way back in November and at the time seemed eons away. I chose this super-cheap flight via Aeroflot, and prepared for the worst. After all, online reviews had me thinking this was a pre-war era plane manned by KGB members with no indoor heating or cooling. And I was fine with all that, because the price was right. And who didn’t want to see the highly regarded Moscow airport (one of three in this city, I’m told) ? No one likes culture more than me, and I have a lot of great Russian friends, so what better way to connect to them than through spending 4 hours in their 3rd largest airport? Thankfully, the flights were totally fine- personal screens and all! And the airport even officially had wi-fi! Not wi-fi that actually connected you to the internet, more the kind that showed up on your phone as full service, but kept your screen loading indefinitely, you know the type. One of the fabulous things about traveling internationally as an Orthodox person is the wealth of kosher food options available to you worldwide. And by that I mean, there is nothing and you starve. It’s the main reason I am so well-traveled throughout the US, and so poorly traveled everywhere else. I refuse to stuff my suitcases with granola bars and microwave meals. I have way too many pairs of shoes for that nonsense. So I prepared in advance, and stocked up on Bissli, Bamba and Pesek Zman chocolate in Ben Gurion Airport in anticipation for the fast. I didn’t just want to be Israeli in that Moscow airport- I wanted to shout it out through my snack choices.

          I’ll fast-forward through the travel, because I could probably explicate on that for ages. One exciting element of traveling is that it was my first time ever doing so as a dual-citizen. This meant that I showed the Israeli agents my Teudat Ma’avar (temporary travel visa- you get a passport a full year after aliyah) as well as my American passport. Although, if I’m being honest, I’ve been using my American passport almost everywhere else. It’s just so much faster and I got things to do!

So excited to be a dual- citizen!

So I finally get out at JFK, locate my bags (which I have an irrational certainty will be lost or stolen off the carousel every single time I fly) and reunite with my all-time best friend- my dad. He takes me to my family home where I hug my mom, my sister and my car- in that exact order. We then go to dinner with my other sister and her family, which include my 2 nephews and my niece. It is at this dinner, where I am sitting with the people that I love most on earth, some of whom don’t ever and will never be able to visit Israel, that I get super-emotional. I am lucky that I have a real sense of certainty in my decision to make aliyah. While I’m in Israel, I never question if my move was the right one- I know it is. I walk around smiling all day, and feel unendingly blessed to “live the dream” as they say. But at that table, with my niece and nephew on my lap, joking around with my immediate family just like it’s any other time, it is at the same time totally normal and completely surreal. And I allow myself a millisecond to think- how can I be without these people every day? How can I have made the decision to move across the globe alone, while my heart and soul are here? I will have this feeling a few more times over the next 3 weeks, but these are fleeting thoughts, and they do not last long.
                The next day I make my long-awaited return to the mall. I have mentioned in other posts that back in the States, I was an avid and skilled shopper. Since moving to Israel, my interest in shopping has waned, both due to the lack of stores and styles I like as well as the exorbitant prices for clothes here. I may pick something up once in a while, but my “shopping addiction” has definitely been cured by the Holy Land. Add that to the theory that I began developing this past trip- Americans are much more attached to buying. Now, before you Americans get all indignant, hear me out. You live in a place where malls are huge and everywhere, every third week is a blowout sale, and every item imaginable is available, both in- store or at your doorstep via the internet. In Israel, the most popular mall in the country, Malcha Mall in Jerusalem (you can look it up, Israelis, it’s true) would fit in my mall’s east wing. In the States you have the affordable shipping (or free shipping!) available online, the clearance sales and the outlet malls. You have a Target and an Amazing Savings for crazy value. And you have a car to shlep it all home with. It makes for a very comfortable shopping experience. In Israel, I have to agonize over buying one item, already marked down, and carve out a time to go pick it up and get it back home. It’s a production, so I don’t do it all that often. In case you were wondering, a shopping addiction can be cured, but it never goes away. Just going back into that mall with my mom was crazy- so many stores and everything on sale (obviously, because it was pre-Easter, post winter-whatever.) I rationalized everything by saying I was getting ready for Pesach and stocking up for Israel, but in reality, I was probably just relapsing hard core, and there was no stopping me. How is everything so cheap?

              Later that evening, I headed to Manhattan. I know that people who don’t live in New York (and many who do) are dazzled by Manhattan, but I’m over it. It’s fast and loud and crowded and (in my opinion) overrated. The subways are a hassle and driving is a nightmare and parking is impossible. All that said, I went in for a special reason- I had organized happy-hour drinks for some friends at a great bar where my friend works. He set aside a section and even made a special menu of drinks for my guests.

Interestingly, the Bar-Lev is a drink that has nothing to do with me being Israeli

It was the perfect way to see a whole bunch of friends I adore in one place at the same time. As friends walked in throughout the evening, one face after another made me light up. I realized again how much I love the people I had to leave.

            Coming back is a lot of the same conversation, many times a day, for 3 weeks. Where do I live, what do I do, who do I hang out with and how is it all (it seems as if people are not keeping up with Jordana in Jerusalem as diligently as I hoped)? I must have answered those questions a hundred or more times over these past 3 weeks, but I didn’t mind (that much) because those would be the same questions I’d ask them if the roles were reversed. And it’s always a beautiful thing to be able to talk about how much I love Israel and the new life I’m building there. I think if I didn’t feel so secure in my decision to make aliyah, these questions would stress me out, but it’s awesome and empowering to get to say “I love it every day,” and mean it. Oy, this is getting long. Okay, more to come in Part 2- see you then! Dasvedanya!

And The Hits Just Keep On Comin'

         I wasn't planning on blogging this week, running around trying to get ready for my first trip back to New York since my aliyah, but I have so many thoughts and emotions bubbling up inside me, trying desperately to get out and be written down. It boils down to this: American Jews think they know what is best for Israel better than Israeli Jews. I know you have seen so many articles with exactly this premise, but as a former American Jew and current Israeli- American Jew, I feel my voice is somewhat unique. I have lived on both sides of this debate, and here's my personal take.
          I remember living in New York and being an ardent Zionist. I followed Israeli news as avidly as I did American news. I followed the political shenanigans and the wars. I followed the peace process and the Intifada. I followed the US-Israeli relationship from Clinton through Obama, all from the perspective of an American Jew who loved Israel and wanted what was best for it. And there were times when I agreed with what they did over there, and times that I vehemently disagreed. There were prime ministers I liked, and those I loathed (Olmert, Barak, Sharon after "the Disengagement.") There were times  worried for the country, and voiced that concern to friends and other Jews. There were times that I voiced concerns loudly and publicly. But during those times, there was always a stronger inner voice, one I remember vividly, that would say to me, "Oh, you're so passionate, Brown? You know best? So go over there and live there. Then you can scream and protest. Until then, who are you to say how Israelis should vote/decide/live?" I always listened to that voice, because ultimately, I was living in my American bubble, safe from those decisions I made for the people of Israel, even though I always wanted what was best for them.
         Unfortunately, over the past days since our election, the same cannot be said for my American brothers and sisters who choose to talk down to the Israeli public as if we are fools who can not be trusted to make decisions for our own country. Be it on social media, the mainstream media or the State Department itself, there is a gang of (I'm, assuming) well- meaning American Jews who, as if in a chorus of patronization, are demonizing both our democratically elected leadership and us morons who democratically elected them. They have been minimizing our vote, and they have been leaving us feeling abandoned at the UN. They have been railing against us at their "Pro-Israel, Pro-Peace" conferences and they have leaking threatening governmental action. And I know that were I still living in the US and the election had gone the other way, I mght be angry and I might be worried, but I would not be spending all my waking hours posting, blogging, opining and basically berating my Jewish brothers and sisters in Israel for their stupidity. Which is what so many members of the liberal Jewish-American brain trust have been doing since the election.
          It is difficult for me to take this verbal punishment lying down for several reasons. One is because American Jews don't actually live here. They did not run with me to the bomb shelters last summer. They did not fear standing at the light-rail station or a bus stop while Jerusalem was gripped by fear during a spate of terrorist attacks this past fall. They didn't hear the constant sirens in Ashkelon and Sderot and fear for their safety as weeks became months. They weren't ripped from their homes and greenhouses in Gush Katif, only to see them demolished and replaced by terrorist bases. They don't live, work, raise children and enjoy life in Gush Etzion- which for anyone who has been there is not a vile mass of sinister settlements, but vibrant and beautiful group of Jewish cities. These well- meaning American Jews are not Europeans, worried about their own personal safety as Jews, and the possibility that mass Jewish emigration is imminent. They are ensconced in liberal and heavily Jewish bubbles in New York, Los Angeles and DC, and that is their reality.
         It is easier to demonize Benjamin Netanyahu, a man who has figuratively and literally offered his life to the Jewish state, rather than shine a light on the extremely worrying fact that their own president has taken actions that can only be described as "against Israeli interests" consistently for the past seven years. Are liberal American Jews more beholden to the feelings of their president than they are to the leader of the Israeli people on matters pertaining to Israeli safety and well-being? Do they actually believe that a man who refuses to condemn terrorists in Iran, Syria and Europe cares more about the people of Israel than it's own freely elected leader? Do they not see the possibility that Obama maybe doesn't love Israel? That his well-documented position of supports a result of overwhelming American support for the Jewish state? Is none of what I'm saying even remotely possible? Or is it possible that American Jews are significantly more American than Jewish? Maybe they truly feel the safety and security of we Israeli Jews is worth sacrificing on the minuscule chance that peace can be achieved with our neighbors soon and in our time?
          A lot has been said about Bibi's comment that a two- state solution isn't really possible right now. Many who hate him used this opportunity to point out what a racist, bigoted war-monger he is. Sure, ok, why not? But to the heart of what he said, please answer me this- who is our peace partner right now, clamoring for this peace process to continue? Is it Fatah- who refuses to recognize our existence and has a president on his 11th year of a four- year term? Or is it Hamas in Gaza- whose very charter calls for each and every Jew to take a one-way trip "into the sea"? And are these the same peace partners who have rejected every Israeli offer since 1994, including the release of thousands of known terrorists and a fully Judenrein Gaza strip? Why is the next offer the one they will finally accept? Why is creating a new Gaza in the West Bank the answer to the mystifying problem of the conflict? And why, most of all, do American Jews believe that they know better? That they have the answers, the key to our peaceful future? And before you wonder, I would feel exactly the same if I was one of those American Jews, living comfortably and safely in Queens, New York.
          Maybe I have been rambling. Maybe I have been focusing on a small subsection of ire in a sea of Israeli support. Maybe when I get back to the States, I will be welcomed with love and well-wishes for my new home, and I will realize I have been worried over nothing. But I do know that whether I am here or there, I will continue support my fellow Israelis and the country where  I have chosen to live- and that regardless of those who seek to patronize us or make us feel small, we are strong and we are proud and as always "Am Yisrael Chai- The Nation of Israel Lives."

It's Party Time!

        It was hard to find the words to write this post for a few reasons. First is the job I recently started, which, weirdly enough, has been gobbling up a lot of my blogging time! But more than that, it's because I have so many emotions, thoughts and feelings that keep sending me off onto different (equally fascinating) tangents, I just don't know where to start. Of course, I am referring to the recently finished election season here in Israel, which I have already written a bit about. 
      For those of you residing under a rock, Israel recently held elections, which essentially (although much more complicatedly) pitted the left-wing Isaac (Buji) Herzog against the right-wing current prime minister, Benjamin (Bibi) Netanyahu. Yes, Buji vs. Bibi. It would be adorable if it wasn't such a proverbial bloodbath. Without getting too deep into it, it looks like Bibi will retain his position, by putting together the larger coalition of seats in the Knesset (Parliament). Side note: maybe I should be teaching civics and government to English-speaking olim? Have I missed my calling? But, I digress. 
       Now, unless you have never read my blog or met me, you would know that I am decidedly right-wing. Unapologetic, strongly, proudly and unwaveringly. Does that mean that I hate everyone with a different viewpoint? Not at all. I try to hear everyone's opinion, and see where they're coming from- sometimes I don't do that great but I do try. That said, the days leading up to the election and the two days since have left me in a state of perpetual social anxiety. Elections in the States are tense, for sure. I can remember waking up that first Wednesday in November in 2008 and 2012, hearing who won the presidency, having a few moments of intense sadness, and moving on. And yes, it was hard to hear the gloating, triumphant drumbeat of my extremely wonderful and passionate Democrat friends, but life goes on. In Israel, it is a whole different story. I never felt an election resonate so much within. I never felt true existential fear that my candidate might not win. I never worried that my vote might actually make a difference, because, honestly, in New York it really doesn't. 
        Leading up to the race I truly didn't know for whom I should vote. Should I vote with my brain, and go with Likud to avoid the doomsday scenario my fellow right-wingers feared? Or with my heart, for the candidate who stood for every I did. Honestly, until probably the day before, I was unsure and confused. But to lighten the mood, let me tell you about Election Day! First, Election Day is a national holiday in Israel. No one is allowed to make their employees work, and if they do, it's at twice their normal salary! This means that the whole country is off! Now, for a country where there is no Sunday (I mean, it exists, but it's a workday) and the only official days off are Jewish/nationalist holidays-this is huge! The cafes were packed, everyone was out and about, and the weather was magnificent! It was really fabulous. The electoral process, however, is a little funnier. First, you can only vote in the one polling location where you are registered. This means, if you lived in the Golan and moved to Jerusalem without changing  your address legally- you have to head back up north to vote! Luckily, my polling place was a 3- minute walk. So I got all dressed up in blue and white (nails included) and I have to tell you, people appreciated that I went that extra mile. When you get to the polling place and sign in, you head to honestly the most low-tech voting booth outside of Botswana. It is basically an oak tag with a bunch of slips of paper, each with the symbol of the different parties. You select your chosen party's slip and put into an envelope, seal and drop into a cardboard box. I kid you not, it is like taking the Pepsi challenge or voting for Prom Queen. Anyway, I took the requisite "first time voting!" photo, and went on my way.

Always color coordinate with your polling place

       The rest of my day was great and relaxed, but at the back of my mind, I had the niggling stress that comes with hoping your candidate wins and everything works out okay. Suffice it to say, it went really well for my candidate. I was happy Bibi won, happy the right- wing seemed strong, a bit disappointed my party didn't do better (okay, okay- I voted Bayit Yehudi), but altogether happy and moving on with my life. Right? Wrong.
       If I was stressed out by the invective coming out of both sides before the election, I was honestly baffled by the sheer hatred coming from the left-wing after the polls closed and the votes were counted. The way people were referring to Bibi, it was as if Ahmadinejad had just been re-elected and the country was on a speeding train towards destruction. Essentially, very little had changed since the day before- same prime minister, a few shifts in seats (notably more Arabs in the Knesset, but somehow that hasn't made it to the papers) but essentially the same as Monday afternoon. But you wouldn't know it from my Facebook feed! In one short day, the peace process (which was apparently just on the brink of happening) was now dead forever, America was cutting all ties, the Arabs were going to riot in the streets, and Bibi was going to turn Israel into an extremist theocracy. I'm being tongue in cheek, but I have read some variation of each of these themes over the past two days. It was as if the left wing had never lost an election before! And they couldn't blame voter turnout (one of the highest ever), so they had to blame every other conceivable factor- fear, Iran, America, the media, the polls, the Orthodox- whatever worked, just as long as it wasn't the fact that, I dunno, maybe more people in this country wanted Bibi than Buji? 
        I kept getting a lot of people asking me (usually my liberal friends), "Are you so happy?" And my response is always the same. I am relieved. Is Bibi my ideological twin? No. Do I think he's the better option for a strong Israel? Definitely. Do I think Israel will be safer with him in charge? Yup. Do I think this will ruin our relationship with America? I certainly hope not! Would I rather an Obama that hates Israel under Bibi because he won't capitulate, rather than an Obama that loves Israel under Buji because he throws Jews out of Judea and Samaria? You bet! Do I think Bibi is better equipped to handle the Iranian threat? Of course! Does Bibi ever make a mistake in my eyes? One hundred percent! But all that said, I am relieved.
         I am relieved that Israel is the Jewish state, and that I get to live here. I am relieved that all our views get representation in our government, views from all ends of the spectrum. I am relieved that we have a true and thriving democracy, where we can be free to aggressively insult our leaders with no fear of repression. I am relieved that I got through this crazy election season alive and intact. And mostly, I am relieved that this is all over, that we can go back to our regular lives where no one disagrees, and everyone just gets along all the time. Just kidding! We'll go back to arguing over everything here, just like we always do. And I love it all.

Work It, Girl

      I just ended the longest period of not working in my adult life. Sure, I was in ulpan, and then I had a part-time gig event planning, and my blog is always a legitimate time-consumer. But since my high school days, I've always had some sort of consistent employment. I started as my one of my neighborhood's most in-demand babysitters, then I was a youth leader, a counselor every summer, I tutored, I balanced books at my dad's warehouse, worked at my synagogue, and taught Hebrew school- all before I ever started working "for real." Then I had a bunch of years as a speech therapist, all while spending all my breaks leading Aish or Birthright trips. And I LOVED it!
      I'm not someone who sits and chills. On vacation, I'm doing things! I'm riding the Segway to the museum right before the night's music festival. I'm rarely the one up at 1 PM to just sit on the beach for hours. So you can imagine my distress at an untold number of days, weeks, months (years?!) where I wasn't sure what I'd do for employment!
       One of the first things I did (once my Aliyah benefits ended) was file for unemployment. Lest you think this is a viable alternative to working, I will have you know, I jumped through many, many hoops to collect what I can only describe as "not enough to live on." But hey, any little bit helps and I am glad the government was there to help a sista out!
       And wouldn't ya know it, that was to be my one and only unemployment check! Whilst interviewing for a number of great jobs (in my general field of interest and skill), I had a chance meeting with someone who worked in the EXACT field where I feel most passionate- Israeli advocacy. If you couldn't tell thus far, I'm truly in love with Israel and I just want others to see the beautiful country I do. So here is this opportunity to teach young North American Jews how to advocate for Israel, on their campuses and online. The tide of anti-Israel propaganda right now is a full-on tsunami. Most supporters of Israel just don't have the tools or the fortitude, or even the network to speak up on Israel's behalf. There is a wealth of information to utilize, but they need a direction with which to channel it all.
        That's where we come in. We put together a six-week internship where participants learn the tools they need to advocate, learn video technique, travel around this amazing country and delve into their Jewish culture- it hits all the spots I love! (SHAMELESS PLUG- check out videoactivism.tv to see what I'm talking about!)
          So that's where I am right now. I'd like to thank everyone who helped me and worried about me. Everyone who forwarded my resumé and gave me recommendations. Everyone who listened to me kvetch and prayed for me to FINALLY find something to do. Everything helped, and people are really good. And if you need me, I'm currently located in the heart of the Old City, overlooking the hills of Jerusalem, feeling lucky to be here every day!

Rock the Vote (Part 2)

         Sorry I left you hanging on that last post. I know you're all breathlessly wondering how the election event went, so get settled in, because it was an interesting night! To begin, the event was designed for young olim, and was to be conducted in English. Each of the 7 major parties would send one representative to basically sell their party's platform, answer our questions and essentially put a face to their contingent. The event was held in a hip Tel Aviv bar and the room was divided into tables, so as to create more intimate environments with which to connect with the candidates. Every fifteen minutes, the candidates would move on to the next table, kind of like a "speed-date your politicians" event. My table was made up of some liberals, some left-wingers, some smolanim and some progressives. What I'm saying is- everyone was a Leftist. If you've been keeping up with this blog, I am not a Leftist. But I was prepared for this eventuality, so I brought one of my favorite fellow right-wing olim, Ilan, as a partner-in-crime for the night (no crimes were actually committed, not to worry.) Ilan and I agree on almost all issues, so it was good to know that when I asked a question where every person disagreed with my point of view, someone had my back. And it was fun to make fun of the outlandish Leftist stuff people said with a fellow "crazy right-winger."

Being super focused on Likud's presentation

For purposes of easy reading, I'll give you a synopsis of each party's representative:
         What was once Labor is now some "unity party" called "the Zionist Union." Essentially, neither of the 2 biggest left-wing parties could get enough seats, so they have formed the Zionist Union party to pool all their support, in hopes of taking the prime ministership. I will reiterate, I think the name of this party is unintentionally hilarious, as I do not see how fundamentally changing the Jewish character of Israel and giving away land to Arabs piece by piece has anything to do with Zionism, but I digress. The woman chosen to speak was a Russian immigrant who seemed, quite frankly, like she had better places to be. I asked her why someone like me (ie- a crazy right-winger) would be interested in her party in any way. I have to hand it to her- she valiantly gave me reasons (unconvincing, but still) why the Zionist Union would work for me, too. Oh, and also- Bibi is the worst. This became a running theme by every single party (except Likud, obviously, and Bayit Yehudi) so for purposes of summation: everyone hates Bibi (not me, of course- just everyone else.)
             Next came Yisrael Beiteinu who had to spend most of their time defending themselves from reports of scandal and their party leader, Avigdor Lieberman. I personally don't mind his fiery brand of nationalism, but you know who does? Tel Avivians. They were not on "Team Yisrael Beiteinu" and it showed. YB also sent 2 representatives- one of whom apparently had all the answers and struggled with English, and another who spoke as beautifully as the Prince of England, but had to defer to the Israeli for all the answers. It was kind of a cumbersome presentation, but still informative. 
            Likud sent their #32 delegate to represent them. Weird choice, huh? Even in the absolute best-case scenario, this guy isn't MK-bound. So why was he the rep, you may ask? I don't know for sure, but he is Likud's only openly gay candidate. His goal is to make Likud more gay-friendly and the LGBT community more Likud-friendly. Worthy goals all, but let's face it- Likud knows their audience. A bunch of young people from Tel Aviv will obviously respond best to this specific representative, especially considering their almost visceral hatred of Bibi. It was a good move. I thought he spoke well, except at one point he said he was atheist and in the next breath said the Jewish claim to this land was biblical and Torah- based. It may make sense to more enlightened people, but to a G-d- believing, Torah-thumper like myself, I didn't how those 2 ideas worked together in his brain.
          Then came the two "centrist" parties, Yesh Atid and Kulanu. I had forgotten all about Yesh Atid, but was interested in what they had to say because I have right-wing friends who voted for them, based on their economic plans. If I can paraphrase their platform "The Left is wrong and the Right is more wrong so vote for us!" They didn't explain how they were right, but I liked that angle. Politicians in the US always come to the middle during elections, and Yesh Atid was owning that middle ground. ("And you get a car! And you get a car! Everyone gets a car!") Over in Kulanu, they sent a real dynamo. Handsome and boisterous, he was like an edition of Us Weekly; super fun to read, with no substance. One hilarious exchange was when he called out all the other parties for "not being accountable" for their mistakes. He promised that if elected, Kulanu would be accountable for all they do. I asked how he could know that for sure, if this was a brand-new party. He told me Kahlon (the party leader), had been in Knesset for a while so I asked what Kahlon had ever done wrong for which he took accountability. This very gregarious man listened, looked at me seriously, and answered an entirely different question altogether. It was humorous for sure, but I did hope for an actual answer. 
          When Bayit Yehudi came to sit down, I was pretty excited. This was the party I wanted to support, and I also wanted to be a friendly face at a table full of very unfriendly, Bayit Yehudi detractors. And then- disaster! The representative had a grasp of English about as good as my grasp of Hebrew. That is to say, he can speak English, he can understand it and he can lightly converse in it. But can he represent his party platform to a group of aggressive olim? Nope. And it was a real shame, too. What could have been a great opportunity to endear Bayit Yehudi to a group of Left-wing olim in an intimate setting was an opportunity wasted. Bummer.
          I saved the Meretz representative for last, because the whole experience was an exercise in absurdity. Meretz bills themselves as the "progressive" party, more to the left of Labor/Zionist Union. With just a quick perusal of their literature I could see, they felt the exact opposite of me on every single possible topic. It was almost humorous, if you can forget about the fact that they actually get elected to some seats in every election. The representative was a nice looking, well-dressed man who confessed to us that, in his youth, he had been a Likud member (gasp!) He followed that up with "Well, we all make mistakes and I switched to Meretz!" which got an appreciative laugh from those assembled. I quickly remarked, "So you also think switching to Meretz was a mistake?" which received an even larger laugh! Two points for the crazy right-wingers! As he continued, he used expressions like "We support a redistribution of wealth." I nearly spit out my Goldstar. In the US, that phrase is often inferred and never uttered. It's political suicide, much as some politicians agree with it in principal. I asked Mr. Meretz if he meant what he just said and he responded "yes, of course." Mind you, this man is a lawyer who probably makes more than 95% of Israelis, and I somewhat tend to doubt that he'd be willing to give away half his earnings to the poor in Ashkelon, but who knows? The whole presentation was one pro-socialism, anti-religion, progressive proposal after another and my mouth was agape the entire time. Still, it was super- interesting to actually hear about, because when on earth will I come this close to a Meretz representative again in my lifetime?
              During the evening's presentation, there was a little clique sitting across from me, an Australian couple and their newly-acquired friend from New York. (Turns out, our common past as New Yorkers was our only discernible link). They were as Left-wing as I am Right-wing, except they were disgusted that I had the nerve to be there, espousing my views. When I would try to clarify or follow up a question, they would shush me. I kid you not, actually shush me! And when they would ask a question, it was usually a 4-pronged question with multiple follow-ups. To every candidate. When a Right- wing candidate would say something they disagreed with, they would actually snicker in his face, as if this silly person had no right to that opinion. It was a lot to take, to the point where after the 3rd "shush" I said "Please stop shushing me. It may be hard to hear, but you aren't the only people here that matter." They looked shocked, then rolled their eyes at one another, and that, kids, is how fourth-graders do Israeli politics!
              This event didn't exactly open my eyes or answer any burning questions, but it did give me some more insight into the political landscape here (and drive home the fact that Tel Aviv and I will forever have a complicated relationship). It was cool to have face-time with actual candidates- I've never met candidates back in Queens or had the chance to ask them questions. Mostly, it spurred me on to stay active in the election process, keep reading and searching, and hopefully to arrive at the best possible choice for me as an Israeli. Viva Democracy!

Rock the Vote

                 I have been passionate about politics since I turned eighteen. That year, I missed the voting cutoff by a few months, so by the time another presidential election rolled around, I was twenty and excited to exercise my civic duty. And exercise it I did- voting, with my family, (as a tiny and insignificant bloc) in every city, state and federal election from then until when I made aliyah. And so as to not belabor the reveal- I am a registered Democrat but I vote Republican. Always. And if you know anything about New York City politics, it is basically casting a ballot for the loser, Every. Single. Time. No matter how crooked or inept or terrible the Democrat candidate is (cough, DiBlasio) the Republican is basically just a man in a suit, waiting to be defeated. Similarly, in these last two presidential elections, my votes have been utterly useless. To vote for the Republican in blue New York is like shoveling your sidewalk during a blizzard- you feel like you've done your part but ultimately, it makes no difference. I watched Obama get elected twice, sitting in blue, blue Queens, wishing I lived in Texas or Mississippi or better yet Florida, so my vote could actually mean something. But it didn't. I did, however, vote so often that Jury Duty notices basically came to my house daily.
                 Then I moved to Jerusalem, Israel. I knew that I would get to vote at some point, but little did I know, the government would fold and elections would be held this March, two years earlier than scheduled. This excited me greatly, for as a citizen of Israel, I was now allowed to actually have a say in who was to be elected! After years of sideline advocating and politicking in the US, now my opinions actually have some weight behind them- now I can be a part of the action! But whom to vote for? Not to belabor another (highly obvious) point, but I am right-wing. Not crazy right-wing, as my liberal friends would accuse me of being, just regular, Israel-loving-Jewish-State-advocating-strong-defense-strategy-Judea-and-Samaria-supporting-Temple-Mount-visiting-religious-Zionist right-wing! And if that makes me a crazy right-winger, well, I guess I am! To me, it just makes sense. It's how I was raised back in NYC and has taken on an even more intense sense of rightness for me while living here. It's a matter of security and saftey, of keeping the Jewish state Jewish, with it's roots in history and it's legitimacy unquestioned. It's not apologizing for being the home of the Jews, all Jews, and maintaining it's Jewish character. To me, I live in the Jewish state, not a state that so happens to house a lot of Jews. But that's just me. 
                 Or so I thought! When I came here, I told everyone in my ulpan that my goal was to join Knesset one day and I jokingly (but not at all as a joke) remarked that I wanted to be prime minister one day. Like the next Golda Meir, except virulently opposed to socialism. Then I discovered there was a candidate and a party who literally said "No more apologizing." Stop apologizing for Israel's defense of itself, and stop apologizing for the Jewish character of this country. Stop telling residents of Judea and Samaria that they don't deserve the government's help- are they any less Israeli than those in Tel Aviv? (If I may be so bold, they love this country more than any of us!) Stop apologizing for the IDF and the way terrorists are treated- they certainly don't apologize to us for causing terror. He was saying everything that I was thinking but hadn't heard, and I was sold.
                Then, some reality. Elections here are very different than in the States. With so many parties (as a parliamentary system, one votes for a party and the party leader who can create the largest coalition of seats then becomes the prime minister) it's a real bloodbath. Hareidi candidates argue with one another, the Left all try to distinguish their positions and the Right all try and out-Right one another. Each of them blames the other for the country's failings and no one is ever to blame. Except Bibi. Apparently, he is to blame for everything. Now, I personally like Bibi. I think he's a brilliant orator, a proud Jew and a true war hero. That said, he has taken steps that I can't approve of, like releasing terrorists and freezing housing (lest the left lead you to believe he's all 'build baby build'). Do I blame him for his frosty relationship with Obama? Nope. I believe Obama hates Israel and hates Bibi more for not capitulating more to the Palestinians. I also think that, thank G-d, Congress and the vast majority of Americans support Israel and know how right Bibi is on it's peace and secuirty. But he has been in office for quite a while. And if it were up to me, we'd have new (cough, Bennett) blood as prime minister, but now is apparently not that time.
                And so we have Bibi from Likud or Tzipi Livni/Isaac Herzog (yes, they are going to share the prime ministership, how bizarre?) from the entirely misnomered "Zionist Union." Those are the options. And whoever can make up a larger coalition will be the leader(s) of the country. And if, G-d forbid, that is Livni/Herzog, I believe we are in trouble over here. So this is where the dilemma sets in. Do I vote with my heart- for a party whose platform represents me most closely? Or do I vote for Likud, who needs right-wing votes in order to stay in leadership? My cousin certainly thinks so. He's every bit as right-wing as me, but tries to convince me constantly to support Likud. To him, Iran is the main issue here, and he knows Bibi is the only one able to deal with the threat (probably true). He sends me videos, articles and slogans daily, trying to sway my vote. Do I really believe the tides of the Israeli election turn through me? No. But I did become one of several million votes in Israel, rather than one of hundreds of millions of votes back in the US. And so, in raw numbers, my vote does matter more here! What to do?!
                To get a grasp on the situation, I signed up for an event where candidates from each major party represented their party's positions to young olim like myself. The experience was such a trip that it needs it's own blog post to truly do it justice. So stay tuned for Part 2, okay? Thanks, you're the best!