When I lived in America, I enjoyed shopping. Perhaps enjoyed is the wrong word. Loved, adored, and maybe even delighted in the activity of shopping. According to many well-meaning friends and family, maybe too much. I can own that about myself. And so when I told people I was making aliyah, the questions "Where will you live?" and "How will you shop?" were posed with equal frequency. As I packed to leave, many wondered how I would fit my enormous, yet carefully curated wardrobe into just a few bags. Especially as that wardrobe was enhanced by pre-aliyah shopping trips. Whenever I asked people, "What should I bring when I move?" the answer was inevitably "Clothes!" (also Ziploc bags, which I still don't quite understand.) So I bought and packed, and decided to hold off shopping until I made a return trip to America, land of outlet malls and clearance sales.
And I was doing great! I had gotten extremely good at mixing and matching my pre-aliyah wardrobe, utilizing accessories to keep things fresh; I was in the budget-concious zone! And then I realized that Rosh Hashana and the rest of the Jewish holidays were just a month away, and I felt conflicted. On the one hand, I am a full-time ulpan student. That pays me exactly zero dollars (/shekels) a month, for 5 months. This is the longest stretch of non-earning I've had in my entire adult life, and I am essentially living off my aliyah stipend and savings. The responsible thing to do would be to wait to shop, right? But on the other hand...there is no shopping as fun as pre-holiday shopping, right? So today I took the bus over to Kenyon Malcha, the big mall in Jerusalem to get a couple new things to bring in the new year.
Clothes in Israel come in 2 basic categories- sold in the shuk (market) and marked up to 4 times the price. Stores such as the Gap and H&M are pricey in this country! Up is down! Left is right! So I decided if I was going to shop here, I should stick to what I know- international stores. I know, I know, I should be embracing Israeli culture, and that includes Israeli fashions and styles. But realistically, that is not my vibe. So I went to my happy place first- Forever 21. In America, one can got to "Forever," try on 10 things, buy 5 and not even think about it. For me, in Israel, it was much more involved. Prices are higher and instead of just shopping to shop I was shopping for survival (sorry, maybe that's a bit much.) But I made a strict budget and stuck to it. Whilst shopping, I noted the major differences between shopping in America and here in Israel.
First and foremost is the child and baby aspect. Israelis, and chareidi Israelis in specific, are accustomed to bringing their children and babies everywhere. I don't mean parks and restaurants. I mean weddings and wine festivals. Therefore, malls are essentially just huge play areas for humans 3 feet and under. This translates into free, fun kids activities, stroller parking areas, carousels and rides for the little ones. It also means crying babies on store lines, in dressing rooms and bathrooms. Ask anyone, I am a real baby-lover. But stand on a fifteen minute line with a wailing bundle of joy and you're gonna ask yourself "do I really want this sweater that bad?"
Next is sales. I was well known in my circles for being a great shopper. Like 90% -off-great. I even had a short-lived blog dedicated to my awesome bargains, called "Dana's Deals"- true story. But in this country, a "sale" is quite a misnomer. It is not uncommon to see a sign offering "Spend 500 shekel, take 100 shekel off!" (Who has 500 shekel?!) or "Buy 3 get 1 free!" (But I only want one!) This doublespeak makes me long for the "Take 40% off Sale" deals I took for granted at my beloved Roosevelt Field.
But now to some mall upgrades. I would always walk around the mall in New York, starving, only to have a frozen yogurt for lunch. I would stare longingly at the food court, wishing I could try whatever greasy junk food samples I was offered. Now I live in a country where every shop in the food court is kosher! I can have anything I want! In the mood for sushi? I can have it. Craving pizza- I can have that too! As any kosher observant Jew will tell you, it's a huge deal! Another great thing about Jerusalem mall is that they celebrate the Jewish holidays along with you! Today they were selling special wines and delicacies for Rosh Hashana and they are always decorated to reflect the Jewish time of year- how special is that? Sure beats a tiny menorah next to a gigantic tree during holiday season!
You take the good with the bad. I am much more okay with overpriced tee shirts from Zara when I think about the kosher Chinese food waiting for me right next to the kippa and shofar stand on the second floor. I am learning that just like everything else in this country, each grain of salt comes with a heaping teaspoon of sugar to make it better. And besides, I can always shop online!
Today's blog was supposed to be inspiring. I was going to tell the story of how I gave blood in Jerusalem. I was going to speak of the great joy I had, giving back to the country that has already given me so much, of finally contributing to Israeli society in a meaningful way. I was going to describe how I had sat on a long line, smack in the middle of the day, waiting upwards of 40 minutes, with another 10 Jews hoping to do something good with their day too. It was going to be a beautiful post, down to the picture of me smiling, "caught in the act (wink!)" of donating blood to the people of Israel. Of course, that is not what happened. After waiting upwards of 40 minutes, outside in the 90+ degree August heat (forgive me, Centigrade friends), I was informed that my iron level was .4 under where it must be for the great honor of giving them my blood as a present. Now, I know what you are going to say, it's not healthy for me or the recipient to give/take blood so devoid of precious iron, but I was livid. Really, I had myself to blame. I knew this might happen, that my iron levels might come back to bite me. Since coming to ulpan, I rarely eat meat. And here is why.
The meat (main) meal in this country is lunch. Lunch is served at 12:45. The line for food is a mile long by 12:46. Imagine, if you will, the best meal in the world. Steak, sushi- what have you. Imagine then, that it is free and plentiful. You would gladly wait on such a line, would you not? Unfortunately, in ulpan, everything in that scenario minus the insane line is the opposite. The food is free, to be sure, but it is also never appetizing (to me) and relatively sparse (no seconds!) On the rare occasion where I eat an ulpan dinner, it is generally two fried eggs, some rice or pasta (plain) and various salads. But for now we will discuss lunch. Allow me to set the scene- so it's 12:45 and my teacher has let the class out a bit early. I am first in line! Let's not celebrate just yet. Suddenly, I become very popular. People I barely know come over to chat with me about nothing. And stay there. And stand there. On the line. Because without my consent, I have just become an accessory to line- cutting! And lest you think this is a "rude American" phenomenon, please be aware that the worst perpetrators of line-cutting are the Russians and the French (in that order.) I don't want you to be concerned that I am segmenting the ulpan by nationality/language spoken- I mean, I am- but it is totally fine and accepted. We all refer to each other this way, makes things so much easier for descriptive purposes. Back to the lunch line. So it's me, my new best friends who've used my kindness to cut in front of 50 fellow students, the French, the Russians/Ukranians and a closed door. At 12:45, the door opens and lunch is served.
There are many students who enjoy the food at ulpan. I am not one of them. The choices are essentially meat or meat or meat or meat or unidentifiable fish or questionable vegetarian option. Now, I am no vegetarian, but since ulpan began, I have essentially become a pescetarian (fish-eater). This means, I always eschew the meat options, get scared by the veggie options and settle for the fish options. On any given day this means: 1) piece of fish in unidentifiable sauce, 2) fried fish (recipe: 3 pounds batter, 2 ounces fish) or today's option: 3) fish balls. I offered everyone in ulpan 100 shekel to identify the fish in fish balls, to no avail. Then to the side dishes. Can I interest you in some carbs? We have rice, pasta, potatoes, corn or couscous. As a Bostonian might say "cahbs on cahbs on cahbs." Next, you have your salad bar (term used loosely) and of course, your soup of the day. I do believe I am the only student at ulpan to be completely baffled by the need for hot soup on a scorching Jerusalem August day. Depending on the day, dessert will be served, and if you are one of the lucky few who get to the watermelon slices on time, I salute you.
So here's the main issue. I know that if I just ate the meat at lunch, I'd live a happier life. But in the USA, minus shabbat lunch, I never ate meat in the middle of the day. You see, I wait 6 full hours in between eating meat and dairy, which means if I had that schnitzel I've been eying for the past month, I might not even be able to eat the dairy I'm being served at dinner! It's truly a problem and one I haven't yet worked out. It does, however, explain why my iron is so low, and why I can't give my new country my true, blue- and- white, Zionist blood. Here's the plan: I will spend the next month building up my iron, so that I can regale you with my tale of finally giving back to my Homeland, as well as a full account of how delicious ulpan schnitzel really is. Can't wait!
